The Bikes

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.

It seems in some ways like a kind of Stockholm Syndrome, the way we honor our machines. We love them to a point that lies well beyond obsession. Upon these machines upon we endure endless suffering, but also find an unending pleasure. The rhythm, the harmony between rider and machine, the outdoors, the wind in our faces and air in our lungs.

The Bikes is devoted entirely to our machines. Ours, The Keepers, and yours, the Community. It features articles devoted to our bikes, and proves a forum for uploading photos of your own machines for discussion. We will be harsh, but fair; this is a place to enforce and enhance our observation of The Rules.

If you’d like to submit an article about your own beloved bike, please feel free to send it to us and we’ll do our best to work with you to include it.

  • Rule #12 and the Cascade EffectRule #12 and the Cascade Effect
    That is a very reasonable opening salvo for the Rule about bike ownership. Three is good and certainly a minimum, and we are talking road bikes here, if there was any doubt. They naturally become ordered: the #1 is ichi-ban, top dog, go-to bike for every and all rides. #2 was the old #1, ...
  • Guest Article: Black Is Not The New BlackGuest Article: Black Is Not The New Black
     @kogalover is singing my song here. Bikes are beautiful. ’nuff said. VLVV, Gianni With all those posts on riding in winter and being visible, either by putting Eyes of Sauron or other car melting devices on one’s steed, or by even considering a YJA instead of donning plain black kit, it was about time to finally get ...
  • Dialing in the StableDialing in the Stable
    This was going to be an article about Rule #45. It is amazing how much time is wasted and matches burned when professionals stop for that second bike change to get back on their #1. With all the jigs available to team mechanics it would seem they could set up five bikes exactly the same. And ...
  • Matching the drapes to the rugMatching the drapes to the rug
    As a longtime titanium bike owner, I’ve always been jealous of a beautiful painted frame but Ti and carbon frames don’t need paint like a steel frame needs paint. But I want some painted beauty. It’s like buying a white car; I can’t do white, need some color. So between a Ti frame and a ...
  • Festum Prophetae: Waiting for the HourFestum Prophetae: Waiting for the Hour
    Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth. – Mike Tyson The one thing everyone should always plan for is that however well-conceived a program might be, things will never go to plan. The high level plan for my Festum Prophetae Hour Ride was as follows: Have a custom Hour Bike built by Don Walker. Because reasons. Reasons like custom ...

15,871 Replies to “The Bikes”

  1. @EBruner

    @frank

    Oh I see, you probably object to the direction it is wrapped at the top. It has been corrected since that photo was taken a few months ago.

    I think he objects to that bar end area. I have no idea why fizik adds that unperfected bit at the end, but I always cut that off.

  2. @frank

    @EBruner

    @Minnesota Expat

    Congrats on getting a Jaegher! I am not the most objective on gruppo advice, everything I have ever, or currently ride on the road is Campagnolo. I have 2015 Super Record on my Jaegher T-38 with Shamal Mille wheels. To me it could not be more perfect.

    That thing is so gorgeous, can you please – PLEASE – fix the handlebar tape?

    Agree, matt black and orange.   Awesome combo !

  3. @Mikael Liddy

    @Barracuda

    @Mikael Liddy

    @Barracuda

    Super Elliotts shop brand?

    Markings on seat tube say Elliot Bros Cycles – Adelaide and a frame number.

    Yup, one & the same.

    http://aussievelos.net/super-elliott/

    Cheers, had visited that sight a while ago when trying to research my grandfathers ” Carroll” racing bike from the ’30’s but had in my constant state of Alzheimers, forgotten about it !

    May have to contact the bloke and see if he can give me any firmer details on both bikes.

  4. @fignons barber

    I came across this gem while strolling the intraweb flea market. I didn’t know whether to file it in the “you can’t buy class” file, or place an offer to set the damn thing up properly. Forget Rules violations, didn’t the seatpost at least come with instructions on which way to point it? Blasphemous !!

    I’m surprised the handlebars weren’t flipped up praying mantis style too. Sacrilege!

  5. @Barracuda

    @frank

    @EBruner

    @Minnesota Expat

    Congrats on getting a Jaegher! I am not the most objective on gruppo advice, everything I have ever, or currently ride on the road is Campagnolo. I have 2015 Super Record on my Jaegher T-38 with Shamal Mille wheels. To me it could not be more perfect.

    That thing is so gorgeous, can you please – PLEASE – fix the handlebar tape?

    Agree, matt black and orange. Awesome combo !

    Actually Matt Blue and Orange. Perfection indeed!

  6. @EBruner

    @Barracuda

    @frank

    @EBruner

    @Minnesota Expat

    Congrats on getting a Jaegher! I am not the most objective on gruppo advice, everything I have ever, or currently ride on the road is Campagnolo. I have 2015 Super Record on my Jaegher T-38 with Shamal Mille wheels. To me it could not be more perfect.

    That thing is so gorgeous, can you please – PLEASE – fix the handlebar tape?

    Agree, matt black and orange. Awesome combo !

    Actually Matt Blue and Orange. Perfection indeed!

    Ahhh shit, my eyes as well as my brain seem to be fading.   None the less, I ENVE this bicycle

  7. @EBruner

    @frank

    What do you object to about my handlebar tape?

    You start too early; one should trim the tape such that the holes start at the bar plug. Other than that is seems very tidy apart from that you wrapped it the correct/wrong way.

    That bike gives me major steelbone!

  8. @frank

    @EBruner

    @frank

    What do you object to about my handlebar tape?

    You start too early; one should trim the tape such that the holes start at the bar plug. Other than that is seems very tidy apart from that you wrapped it the correct/wrong way.

    I just did my first bar tape job with fizik tape and wondered about the blank bit at the end. Next time, I’ll trim it. However, I found the tape provided slightly short for the job anyway.

    Can I get some clarification on what is the correct/wrong/right way, I’ve done mine exactly the same as @EBruner I think.

     

  9. @RobSandy

    The flat (thinner on padded tape) bit is so that you can get it in with the par end plug and also get a good starter wrap without having a bulge.  I’d suggest that if you are coming up short you may be using too much overlap.

  10. @Teocalli

    I see. I think my tape job is fine for a first go. I’m reluctant to post pictures though because I can’t handle criticism.

  11. @RobSandy

    Ha Ha.  Everyone has to start somewhere.  One tip I have found useful to get a nice lead from the bar end plug is to start the wrap then put in the plug and unwrap back to the plug and start again.  You can then get a nice tight exit from the plug without an annoying little tab that can be hard to get in with the plug.  If that makes sense.

  12. @Teocalli

    I’ll try that next time. I did exactly as per the Lizardskins video that someone posted on a different thread. I was pleased with how tight and neat I got the wrapping around the hoods but I think I need to use less overlap next time.

    However, my bike (mostly black) with the white bar tape looks flippin awesome.

  13. @chuckp

    It really hurts the eyes to see that picture (which I will not repost. Yet another occasion worthy or strolling over and politely telling the owner that you are taking his bicycle away to a better home because they are abusing it –  kinda like if you saw someone abusing a dog or a child.

  14. @DavyMuur

    When the bars are flipped up as you suggest, it’s the Obree-style. Only to be performed by Graeme Obree as he crushes mere mortals into wondering why they ever took up cycling.

  15. I

    @wiscot

    @DavyMuur

    When the bars are flipped up as you suggest, it’s the Obree-style. Only to be performed by Graeme Obree as he crushes mere mortals into wondering why they ever took up cycling.

    I stand corrected. However, I still prefer praying mantis! Did obree do the hour record with his bars like that? Because, if so, I think he should be made do it again PROPERLY!

  16. @Teocalli

    Maybe not the hour…..

    Obree did the hour in the “tuck” position. The “Superman” came afterwards once the geniuses at the UCI decided they didn’t like the man from Ayrshire and would fuck with him at every opportunity.

    There are fewer and fewer folks in this world I would ever apply the word “hero” to, but Graeme comes very close in my book. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Graeme_Obree

  17. @wiscot

    Yeah I couldn’t remember whether the tuck came before or after the superman.  Quite a fella without a doubt though.

  18. @Teocalli

    @wiscot

    Yeah I couldn’t remember whether the tuck came before or after the superman. Quite a fella without a doubt though.

    Yeah, the Superman came after the Union of Conniving Idiots decided the tuck was too radical and banned it. An amazing rider at the wrong time and the wrong place. I think he’d stand a better chance of a pro career now. Hell, Sky could hire him for track and riding prologues and TTs.

  19. Have The Obree Way in the library. Should probably get around to reading it someday! Quality publication.

    He really did push the boundaries of the sport. Chapeau, monsieur Obree.

  20. @RobSandy

    @Teocalli

    Maybe not the hour…..

    And look at the size of that chainring…

    It’s not just the chainring. The seat tube joins the down tube in front of the BB not on top of it! His heel is barely in front of the rear derailleur. The foot overlap with the front wheel is also huge.That’s an insanely short wheelbase. I’ll wager 99% of riders couldn’t ride this bike for 1km let alone 16 or 40 without falling off, let alone race at 40-50 kms an hour. He doesn’t wear a skinsuit and leaves his legs hairy to kid the other riders he’s not really serious . . . Trust me, I rode against him plenty of times and as nice a guy as he was/is, he ha no qualms about beating you to the best of his astounding ability.

  21. @Philonius

    Well it’s on The Butler and originally it had a Brooks end plug but that fell out while hammering some Strade equivalent and the best replacement I could find at the time was said cork.  Said cork seems to have kinda stuck there being reasonably suitable for the period of The Butler.

  22. @Philonius

    The alternative way of thinking about it is that it was the result of a perfect combination of post ride mechanics mixed with fermented red berry recovery juice.

  23. @chris

    @frank

    Whole lotta what the fuck going on here.

    Is that Alex’s latest Long Distance Malteni Delivery System?

    Training on one of those; it’s no wonder that William is terrified of Alex’s guns!

    Yeah, cos getting aero on that thing will make a world of difference in how fast you go FFS Going round corners must be a tad tricky too.

  24. @chuckp

    On more then 2 or 3 occasions I’ve seen forks mounted backwards on what looked to be a bike store…

  25. @DavyMuur

    Yeah I’ve been hankering a pair of these for a few years http://www.dromarti.com/cycling-shoes/race-classic

  26. @frank

    Here is a pic of my rad tape wrapping ability back in 1985. Damn I miss Celo tape! And my youth!

    -Eddie

  27. @Oli

    ARSE!

    Hence “For the cobbles……..”  the “…..” implying “and not said arse”.

  28. Holy fack, the dude in the black tank top is definitely not adhering to looking PRO in the upper body department. Damn, that guy is in good shape!

    I see plenty of local dudes who are fast as and look much more like all-around athletes than emaciated PROs. Seems to me like the really skinny guys are usually the ones who were bookworms growing up and came to sports later in life, with cycling being something you can be moderately good at if you just put in the saddle time. Some guys will never be skinny, some guys will never be muscled.

  29. @Barracuda

    I wondered that also! At closer examination of the photo, it is actually a helmeted head, behind a dude with a cap, making it look like a chefs hat.

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