Anatomy Of A Photo: Point And Shoot

Joe-Breeze-Repack

“You ruined a heap of photos!” Not the words you want to hear when the photos in question are ones you didn’t shoot, but were in. “How?” “You’re too low, too compressed.” At least he didn’t say I was ugly. “And you’re ugly.”

When you work with professional photographers, you pick up a few tricks of the trade along the way (and then reject them, it seems). ‘Ride slow, look fast’ is a favourite tip, but usually just ends up with me looking like someone who is slow and desperately trying to look fast, but just looking slow. Getting your elbows, knees, ass and eyes all pointing in the correct (but completely different) directions is something that comes easily for gifted riders, and not at all for the rest of us.

Joe Breeze don’t need no tips on how to look perfect for the camera. He just tells the photographer where to stand, then lays down a one-take lesson in feet-up drift cornering technique that remains the benchmark to this day. His clothes, hair and moustache, well they deserve a complete chapter in the Book of Cool all their own.

Modern mountain bikes may have come a long way, but clothing could do worse than take some cues from the 70s (not just for biking, either). This is the way to dress for a ride. Just make sure you’ve got Breeze-perfect form to back it up.

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36 Replies to “Anatomy Of A Photo: Point And Shoot”

  1. Although I was a bit too young in the ’70s (and a bit too old now) to exude that kind of cool, I’m pretty sure I attempted that kind turn on my BMX bike.  Although, the subsequent 3-5 seconds involved embedding gravel into my knees, elbows, and possibly arse.  Clearly they were not pointing in the correct directions.

  2. Pretty damn cool photo. How long are his brake levers?

    The sad thing is that I think he’s better dressed than most people I see out in public these days.

    Since when did stockings become pants? It’s fucking bizarre. “Psst, I think you forgot to put your skirt on over those.”

  3. That looks like he’s headed down after a hard day of lumber jacking. Finished with a “sup, where’s my beer?”

    Cool can’t be taught, but damn, people sure try to fake it.

  4. @Nate So very cool… from very humble beginnings to today’s phenomenal machines and athletes flying down the sandstone cliffs in Utah at the Red Bull Rampage site. I love this stuff even though I get dusted descending all the time. Thx for posting the video!

  5. @Ccos

    That looks like he’s headed down after a hard day of lumber jacking. Finished with a “sup, where’s my beer?”

    Cool can’t be taught, but damn, people sure try to fake it.

    There is no faking that kind of countersteering technique.

  6. At least he didn’t say I was ugly. “And you’re ugly.”

    Best writing in the month of May. Thank you…just…thank you.

  7. As for taking 70’s to the max, my hat tips to Tom Hardy, who claimed this to be his modern, easy bike. He did confess to having a modern chamios in his woolen boxers.

  8. I feel like I know that corner; riding Mount Tam was such an honor, almost as holy as riding the cobbles (but not quite…)

  9. @frank

    As for taking 70″²s to the max, my hat tips to Tom Hardy, who claimed this to be his modern, easy bike. He did confess to having a modern chamios in his woolen boxers.

    No Belgian compact there. And yes that is a hairnet.   Also:  does Tom’s style on the bike not resemble that of a certain eminent retired American cycling champion?

    @frank

    I feel like I know that corner; riding Mount Tam was such an honor, almost as holy as riding the cobbles (but not quite…)

    Next time we’ll have to get over to that side of Tam.

  10. One of the photos I ruined… talk about a muppet! Hartley’s Creek, North Queensland, photo Stefan Haworth (he’s not the accuser of ruin).

  11. @Ron

    Pretty damn cool photo. How long are his brake levers?

    The sad thing is that I think he’s better dressed than most people I see out in public these days.

    Since when did stockings become pants? It’s fucking bizarre. “Psst, I think you forgot to put your skirt on over those.”

    My VMW has a saying “Have you no mirrors in your house”.  It seems to get muttered more and more these days.

  12. @frank

    As for taking 70″²s to the max, my hat tips to Tom Hardy, who claimed this to be his modern, easy bike. He did confess to having a modern chamios in his woolen boxers.

    This set of photos impressed from the first go round… I can only hope I look this bad ass when I get a little older.

  13. @sthilzy

    ‘Ride slow, look fast’

    Stuffed that up! First ever MTB race.

    Not sure that I am ever going to master that… Ride slow, look fast… Probably easier for me to achieve- ride slow, look fat.

  14. Your’s truly on my way to a Silver Medal in the Oregon State Championships, my only MTB race ever, and on a rented Kona. Did the photographer get it right? I don’t know.

    [dmalbum: path=”/velominati.com/wp-content/uploads/readers/scaler911/2014.05.25.08.46.45/1//”/]

  15. @Teocalli

    @Ron

    Pretty damn cool photo. How long are his brake levers?

    The sad thing is that I think he’s better dressed than most people I see out in public these days.

    Since when did stockings become pants? It’s fucking bizarre. “Psst, I think you forgot to put your skirt on over those.”

    My VMW has a saying “Have you no mirrors in your house”. It seems to get muttered more and more these days.

    @brett

    Better technique, but no Breeze…

     

    Margaret River?

  16. I’ve ruined a mess of bike photos. All of them seem to have me with some manner of goofy expression and locked elbows. Oh well.

  17. @brett

    Probably the best trail riding I’ve seen (just skip the feelgood cliches at the start)…

    That. Is. Awesome. Took my first real ride last fall and was hooked instantly. I can’t wait to hit the trails again.

  18. Nice jeans-and-boots fashion article.  Several of those photos will appear in my book, “Fat Tire Flyer,” out on VeloPress in September.

    Just sayin’.

  19. @Charlie Kelly

    Nice jeans-and-boots fashion article. Several of those photos will appear in my book, “Fat Tire Flyer,” out on VeloPress in September.

    Just sayin’.

    Welcome Charlie!

    Yes, that’s THE Charlie Kelly people.

    We’re not worthy…

  20. @brett

    @Charlie Kelly

    Nice jeans-and-boots fashion article. Several of those photos will appear in my book, “Fat Tire Flyer,” out on VeloPress in September.

    Just sayin’.

    Welcome Charlie!

    Yes, that’s THE Charlie Kelly people.

    We’re not worthy…

    Checked to see what he’s up to on Wikipedia because last time I heard the name I went out and bought a MTB in 1986 because I loved the idea. Wen’t more remote places with that thing than ever I do now.

    Apparently Charlie “…currently is considered an expert at the tricky art of piano moving” this I like very much.

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