La Vie Velominatus: Clean Bike Day
It seemed so easy, when I was young, to decide who to love and who to hate. These days, life is a complicated web of heroic deeds and dark shadows. As we get older, it appears our heroes and villains get mixed up.
Fortunately for us, Cycling is about much more than bike racing. It is about loving the machine, submitting ourselves to the cathedral of our environment, about wrapping ourselves in the sensations of the ride. For us, it is about La Vie Velominatus, none of which has anything to do with what the Pros are up to when the lights are turned away. La Vie Velominatus is about the love of life as one of Cycling’s dedicated disciples.
Tyler Hamilton spoke of riding clean as riding paniagua – on bread and water. When a Velominatus speaks of riding clean, we speak of riding on a freshly cleaned bicycle – one of the greatest pleasures to be found.
The process starts with the careful removing of the wheels, then cleaning of the frame, the brakes, the fork, the stem, saddle, and seat pin with soapy water. The wheels are cleaned by scrubbing the rims with a broad brush, and the hubs with a cone brush. The soap has to be frothy enough, it has to stand on its own, like when a cartoon character takes a bath. The foam has to fall off in big clumps and threaten to float away in the breeze.
Finally, the drive train gets its turn. To hold the chain in place, I use a special skewer with a cog that was given to me by @roadslave in a drunken fit of brotherly drive-train-cleaning love at Keepers Tour 2012. I fit the chain on its cog and affix the Park Cyclone which looks distressingly like an abstract representation of Gonzo’s head. Apparently, I’m a big enough man not to be bothered by holding a tool by a Muppets schwantz-like nose, provided it does a good job cleaning my chain. The teeth on the chainrings are cleaned with stiff-bristled brush using the residual solvent left over from cleaning the chain, as are the pulleys in the derailleur.
As a final order of business, the handlebars are scrubbed of any residual dirt and the machine is set aside to dry and await its next ride.
The bike can be cleaned in the workshop or in the driveway, or in the back yard on a sunny day. If the bike is cleaned indoors, it is necessary to play a cycling video in the background. Maybe Stars and Water Carriers, the The Road to Roubaix, or A Sunday in Hell. When cleaning outdoors, it is good to be accompanied by a loyal mut. Whether indoors or out, however, it should always be done with both ample time and a pint at hand. This is a ritual which may not be rushed.
The first ride on a freshly cleaned machine is possibly my favorite. It is much better than the first ride on a new bike, as a new bike is yet unfamiliar beneath you. The freshly cleaned steed, on the other hand, runs flawlessly and we respond to each other like the familiar old friends that we are.
There is no day to ride quite like Clean Bike Day. Vive la Vie Velominatus.
If Eddy condemns me to eternity in hell, it’ll be for this reason
Perhaps I have a high bar, but my bike never seems to be clean enough, yet I cannot possibly balance it by cleaning it EVERY f**kin ride dude….the voices in my head are incessant man; things of obsessions, compulsions…where to clean, what to lube with afterward, is it going to call for wet or dry
Oh, the possibilities. So, i do what i can and ride happy as long as she is quite in the ozarks pave’
Good stuff. I’m a bit surprised you clean your chain with solvent. I like to apply a spray wax once the bike is dry. This has two benefits: (1) shiny is good and (2) gunk doesn’t stick to it, making the next clean easier.
I could clean my bike more often but before the Cogal on Saturday I gave my bike the clean of it’s life. It was looking as good as it could look and when I took it out of the van to pedal to the cafe, it felt as if the bike too was raring to get on with the ride. Chain gets lubed and wiped down every ride.
I clean the drive train with a citrus degreaser before anything because it seems easier to clean if its dry to start with. It also means any drivetrain filth that gets on the frame etc then gets washed off.
Using a selection of paintbrushes to clean your bike is almost worthy of a rule.
Yes sir! Frank. Love this article right now. I keep on heading to cycling news sites to see how bad it’s gotten. LOVE that you penned this lil’ piece about the things that matter beyond the peloton, like a goddamn clean bike. Nice!
I’m monumentally disappointed on most group rides, even with fast folks, with the number of Rules violations. It’s fucking alarming. A dirty bike and drivetrain are constant violations I spot. Then they’ll tack on a EPMS. And then, to really make things fucky, they’ll have Leader’s Tape that is tan from dirt & sweat. Goddamn, if you are going to have white tape, clean it!
On another note…I’M MOVING!!! Going from around 800 sq. feet with three cats, one dog, six bikes, and one VMH to around 1500 square feet. Same set-up, yes, keeping the pets and the VMH, but might be able to add a bike or two which are stored with the Olds still. No more will I have to drag my stand out of the closet and into the backyard and pinch my fingers getting the arm and legs set. First order of business: a bicycle shed for storing and working on the steeds. We’ve got a 1/2 acre backyard with direct sunlight. Talk about paniagua. I’ll be able to grow most of what I eat. I cannot wait! A bike shed is honestly the only thing I’ve wanted out of life lately and now I’m around three weeks from moving on in. Gonna be awesome.
I am compulsive about keeping my bike clean and lubed. I can’t think of a better way to wind down from a hard ride than by changing out of my bike shorts, opening a pint and cleaning lubricating my bike. Only after that is done do I attend to taking my own shower. (Although, in mid-winter Chicago where there is no liquid water outdoors, I have actually been known to take my bike onto the shower with me.)
With regard to my cleaning compulsion, I was once told, “I’ll never be that bored.” To each is own, I guess.
Sunday’s race had a long sandy beach section. Six times through that and there’s sand everywhere.
I’m still a skeptic of the durability of BB30, but at least it’s easy to clean. Pull the crank, wipe it all down, clean the sand out of the chainrings and spider, grease it, and slide it back in.
I look forward to cleaning and maintaining my bike. It’s the same as when out riding with my work mate group. For them, it’s a thing to get over with, for me I love every meter I ride.
Same with cleaning, really enjoy it.
You do all that every ride? Shit, all I need is a rag and good, clean chain lube.
And wtf is up with that skewer?
@Souleur, @brett
You guys both get an F for reading comprehension. Where the did you get the idea I do this every ride? That’s insane, and reinforces the notion I’ve got that all that ever gets read on an article is the the title and the posts, with a cursory glance given to the photo.
@brett
Frame doesn’t allow for the bisection position, though it does allow for Rule #41 compliance with the upward positioning. Moron.
Jamie – bored? Fuck that. Taking proper care of one’s tools has nothing to do with boredom, but something to do with respecting items that you rely on. Whether it’s keep my kitchen knife sharp or my drivetrain clean I do it not because I’m bored but because I use those things daily and I rely on them to do the job right.
If I spend good money on something I want it to last and I expect it to perform, thus I do my best to care for it.
Now, if you are missing rides to clean your bike, we’ve got a problem. But keep your stuff clean & Silent is crucial.
@Nate
I use solvent on all chains, but use Dumond Tech on my good weather bikes – there is nothing like real, honest lube to make the world hum, synthetics just can’t compare.
I use a wax lubricant (White Lightning Clean Day) for the rain bike for the reason you describe (nothing sticks). I’ve found the chain’s surfaces have to be totally free of oils for that stuff to get a good grip on the chain so it can last through a long, rainy ride.
I run the chain through the Cyclone about once a quarter with the Park solvent, and I’ll run it through with Dawn about once a month. Seems to keep things happy.
Overhauled the Rain Bike recently, getting ready for the rain that’s coming. For anyone who was saying that bikes don’t get very dirty in the rain if you keep up with the cleaning should have hung out while I was pull the BB etc out of it; I keep my bikes cleaner than anyone I know, and even then, the BB was absolutely caked with crap. If you’re limited to one bike and ride it in the rain, take heed.
@motor city
And the cut-off bidon in the cage with the solvent as you clean the chain. Very Pro, very cool. The Pavé Cycling Classics guys do it that way and it seemed to work exceptionally well.
@snoov
That’s what I’m talkin’ about, brother.
To credit brett, cleaning the chain with lube is good. It does the most good after the ride though, giving new lube extra time to seep into the links — before the next ride. That skewer (brett) keeps the chain clean(er) while you attempt to clean it without breaking the chain. No need to break a chain for cleaning if you use the skewer. And as long as you remove and clean the cassette. And buff the chainrings. Removing the cassette to polish each cog restores my soul — the bike’s soul as well.
@frank
Don’t risk getting solvent on a carbon cage — that is if you have a carbon cage.
@Jamie
Is this you?
@G’rilla
Sand. Yuck. It gets everywhere. Get it out of your chain, cassette, and chain rings, too – that stuff will wear down your kit like nothing else.
Photos from Sunday’s race? Sounds epic. It rained quite a bit here, I’m guessing it did for the race, too!
It’s awesome to have a very clean and waxed bike with a perfectly lubed chain in preparation for the A group Sunday morning ride only to have it rain the night before (which is standard in Belgium) and the leader of the club ride takes us through 90km of sand, washed out broken glass, greasy cobbles, sand, dirt and more sand. I can just hear my once clean chain grinding down to dust.
For me, the most satisfying part of the clean is a turning over the drivetrain with a rag covered finger pressed up against the rear mech jockey wheels. Seeing and feeling them come clean is beautiful.
These are my padewans of choice when it comes to clean bike day…which incidentally was yesterday..there is nothing these dogs do not know about bike cleaning..largely because I have made every mistake in the book!
“As we get older, it appears our heroes and villains get mixed up.”
Reminds me of a truism that seems more and more valid as I grow older, “One should never meet their heroes.”
This article just reminds me that I really need to clean my bike more, period.
This is timely. I have discovered an interesting phenomenon – it is possible to get certain parts too clean. Yes, there is all that talk about high pressure soap and water into bearings. I’ve discovered it is all too true. Of particular note is wheels and spokes. Clean a wheel at your peril, as the post cleaning ritual must include nipple lube (!) and re-lube of the spokes where they cross and affix to the hub. My Fat Ass really deflects a wheel, and there is nothing that distracts from the v-locus like wheels popping and clicking. Grease into the dropouts and onto the skewer. Lube, grease, repeat. Lube goes everywhere there is a joint. I even fucking lube the little fucking presta valve. If it could make a sound, it gets greased.
Great article and great discussion (again!)
I have recently diagnosed myself mechanical paranoia. This includes worries about how often I wash my bike and the methods I use. Am I getting too much water in to bearings, into the frame itself? Is normal washing up liquid bad for the bike? Should I bring it into the house to dry out??
I am also using paraffin to clean my chain and cassette. It works very well and I always try to rinse it well, but is it wrong to use paraffin on your bike??
I don’t believe in cleaning the bike every ride (and sometimes a dirty bike is an indication to me of a good week of making credits into the V Bank) but firmly believe washing the bike brings you closer to the workings of the bike and keeps you on top of issues that require maintenance
I have recently diagnosed myself with mechanical paranoia
…and shit typing skills
Don’t have a mutt, but have my young son with me every time I wash and maintain my bike. He’s great company and learning many life lessons at the same time, how to love and care for your bike, bike maintenance, how to correctly use tools and how to care for them…
… it’s more than just washing a bike, it’s cultivating a relationship with my son so that when he’s older, he will willingly come along and kick our asses.
The bike clean is also a basic safety check – that’s when you see the rip in the tyre, the frayed cable, the cracked rim etc. OCD helps a lot with peace of mind when travelling at 60kph.
@frank
Interesting.
I think my original post was unclear. I was talking about waxing the frame, not the chain. Carry on.
@frank
You expect me to read? Shit.
It doesn’t say you don’t do it every ride… or does it, I just took a cursory glance!
@Deakus
Nice dogs… my dog Marty is a goldy, lives with parents in Aus, he’s about 15 and looking a bit whiter than golden!
@Frank: “Is this you?”
Hell no! Do you think I’m some kind of perv; getting into a shower with a mountain bike? Lord no, I only shower with the road bike. You guys are a bunch of sickos!
@frank @Deakus @brett
I have only just discovered the joys of bike cleaning in the company of a mutt. I thought it would be cool – so far it isn’t. The rascally little fucker can’t help but stealup anything I leave lying within her reach for more than a second. So far rags and paint brushes seem to be the favorites.
And she keeps knocking over my stubbies.
Living in the southern Scottish Highlands and it’s attendant typical weather I sometimes feel that bike cleaning is like that greek myth where the feller has to empty the ocean with a leaky spoon, it can be a thankless task, without end, and repeated daily and as I wheel the trusty steed out the driveway with a Rule #9 sh** eating grin on my face most days, the feeling is tempered slightly knowing the cleaning of the bike was probably only of therapeutic value. But it still needs to be done.
@IcemanYVR
Wash with my older son too. If I have ’em both on hand they’ll fight over the hose, everyone will get soaked and the job won’t be done. With one I can focus on inculcating one of life’s most important lessons: Never direct high pressure spray at anything that turns on bearings.
@Nate am glad you havent focused on them not directing the high pressure spray at each other. Kids have gotta have some fun.
@Nate
Been using Motorex Bike Shine which is essentially Rain-X for bikes. Also use it on the helmet. Motorex products were featured on BMC facebook page.
@Marcus
No doubt. They know a lot more about how to have fun with a hose than I do.
@Ali McKee You may want to council higher wisdom, but I think there is a lot of salt in dish washing up liquid. I use muc off.
@unversio
This is, for me, the best part: anticipating the concentric circles of teeth to gleam in silent readiness for the next ride.
@meursault
The poisons helplines says dish liquid is basiclly a strong salt solution, which confirms what you are saying. (don’t ask)
I use simple green, brake cleaner, and INOX for various cleaning and lubricating duties. Gloves advised fo sho.
Cleaning with the kids can definately be fun, if you can keep them out of the grease, my little guy loves dad holding the ‘hoops’ in the air so he can spray the bubbles off with the hose too..
My fav thing to do is get a rag and run it between cogs in the cassette, going back and forth using the freehub to move the cogs around for you, and watch that puppy come up shining. Seems strange how happy this makes me..
Actually enjoy finding out the nuances of what everyone does, I get tips and tricks all the time reading the comments here..
My three-legged cat likes to lick the bladed spokes on my wheels if I let my bike sit out in the living room after a ride.
Does that count as cleaning?
@unversio
The product I’m using right now smells like Pledge furniture polish but costs more. When I run out, I’ll just get Pledge itself.
@Nate
I stole my own household can of Old English once — for the bike.
@PeakInTwoYears
And to see what the hell has been going on with impending wear on links and rollers. I put a new chain in the toolbox 2 months before it is really needed.
@unversio
How many km’s are you getting out of a chain, on average? I just changed mine after about 7500km. It had a bit left in it, but not much.
@PeakInTwoYears I start looking closely at 12500km with a Chorus or Record chain — one year (spring and winter). If the chain looks okay at the end of the season, then I will ride all that remains in the life of the chain that same winter. I tend to change them early as well and might even swap chains out with cassettes to keep them paired up. Like you, I would trust that it is time to change when you think it is time.
I clean my once a year, whether it needs it or not.
Seriously, I like a clean bike too, but it’s gets ridden a lot and cleaned a little. CT18, paint brush, water, INOX on the chain if I can find it, WD40 if I can’t, and a quick wipe over. Life is too short to spend it cleaning chains. I read about people taking the chain off and washing it after every ride. Good grief !!
Most days, the post-ride ritual involves chucking it on a stand, getting the bidons out and rushing to a shower to get to work on time.
@Overijse
This is the moment of truth, is it not? The moment you submit to the ride being the ultimate form of La Vie and that the Bike, however much we love and worship it, is but a tool?
On a side note, I’m surprised that you are Belgian; with a “ijse” in your name, I expected it was a play on de Ijssel which would make you Dutch. Assumptions making an ass of you and me and all that, I suppose.
@Ken Ho
Post sounding a bit like Scrooge (really). The drivetrain must sound like Jacob Marley’s ghost by the end.
@motor city
This never happens to my bikes, but I’ll clean a buddie’s bike and do that and big cakes of crap fall off into the rag and all of a sudden the chain runs 66% lighter. That is one gift that eludes the Velominatus who maintains their bike. That little cake that comes from the jockey wheels. Do we call them pulleys here in the States? I always call them pulleys, but maybe I’m an idiot. Its been postulated before.
Get yourself a three year old and just show them what has to be done.
Havent found the Boxer of any use for cleaning any of the bikes but good fun to watch lapping Ballarat Velodrome at speed.