La Vie Velominatus: Rebirth
Wind is an asshole. I have no patience left for it. It has all of it been used up, gone, finished. It is the only force that I’m aware of (with the possible exception of gravity) that is more stubborn and less willing to listen to reason than I myself am. It blows me around on my bike, it embezzles speed from my Magnificent Stroke. No matter how emphatically I lose my temper with it, no matter the unprintable curses and insults I hurl in its direction, it just keeps on blowing like a big stupid blowing thing.
The weather systems that move in and out of the Puget Sound Convergence Zone are accompanied by a gale and, and as every Cyclist knows, gales blow exclusively against the direction of travel. With the changing seasons come the frequent storm systems and the unreliability of the meteorologists is amplified by the complexity of the weather patterns. Taking Bike Number One is a gamble during any of these times, but sometimes living dangerously feels better than it is sensible. Every now and then, taking #1 when you really shouldn’t can offer a bit of much-needed redemption.
Fall winds steel us for the arrival of colder, darker days. Winter around here comes with less wind, but with annoyances of its own. Our friends in more harsh climates than mine will agree: we have had a dark Winter here in the Northern Hemisphere. Seattle is a mild place to live, but even here the damp, cold, short days have taken their toll. The sun is down when I arrive at work, and it is down when I leave for home. With vitamin D in short supply, our moods sour, the chickens stop laying their eggs (there is no creature more entitled than a clucking chicken who refuses to lay an egg), and alcohol, food, and sloth start looking like viable plans of remediation.
But as Winter makes its slow exit, the winds begin to blow once again and Spring starts to dot hints that she is about to make her entrance. The redbud trees are in blossom, and the Earth is letting loose the green stalks of tulips and crocuses. The work we did over the winter was supposed to make us feel strong and fast; instead, trees bow to our arrival as the wind pushes against our face and robs us of the free flight that a Cyclist in form works so hard to achieve.
Nevertheless, this weekend I rode with bare legs, the strong headwind filling my senses with the fresh smell of damp, life-giving earth and budding blossoms. Rebirth is infectious and like the trees and plants around me, so too have I been reborn.
Wind might well be an asshole, but when it signals warmer, brighter days it somehow seems more tolerable. Vive la Vie Velominatus.
@frank
Wait until IT professional jokes are the “it” thing. Any day now.
@frank
True, but if there was any justice in the universe the cycling fairy would decree that a headwind on the way out should theoretically/mathematically/whatever translate into a tailwind on the way back. ‘cept it often doesnt seem to work out that way.
@Nate
Yeah, as if sending American technology jobs offshore for pennies on the dollar is anywhere near as bad as what you lawyer folk do.
@brianold55
I hate to be the one to tell you this, mate, but life isn’t fair. Also, there is no such thing as fairies, so life also isn’t fairy.
This is why Merckx handed down Rule #5.
@frank
Ah yes, “outsourcing” is a bad word. What’s the new MBA euphemism? Rightshoring?
@frank True again sir. With age and struggle comes understanding of this. Doesn’t mean we can’t laugh about it. Rule #5 saves us. Fairy nuff?
@Nate
Oh, there are tons and you are too close already, assuming you’re making that word up to be a dick, which I applaud.
Gobal delivery, global-sourcing, co-sourcing, co-sizing, right-sourcing, right-shoring, right-sizing, near-shoring, near-sizing, cost optimization, workforce rationalization…we make up all sorts of things that are too complicated to spin a clever joke around, for instance:
Removing American jobs and crippling our own future innovation just doesn’t boil down to such a concisely funny joke like being a money grubbing ambulance-chaser does.
@frank no doubt, And unfortunately I did not make up that word but have alas encountered it professionally. When you hear neologisms like that they come from the same MBA types who give us drivel like “thought leader.” Lawyers prefer old Latin words no one knows the meaning to anymore.
@frank as a middle aged full time student I somehow manage devote 2 hrs a day for my self taught no credit cycling classes. I am either a shitty student or a bad teacher, not sure on that one yet.
Possibly the most inspiring and well penned article you’ve ever written, Frank. I felt a hint of rebirth myself just yesterday as I wiped the dead worms from my rear brake and downtube, wearing a grin on my face in the warm sun. ‘What wind? What wet roads?’
@CerveloVan 2 days in a row outdoors! Today however, the wind Frank encountered came to Vancouver.
Riding back into Vancouver over Lions Gate bridge was a bit white-knuckle, but a glorious ride nonetheless.
@frank – Great article, emotive and compelling. I am looking forward to my first bare legs ride this weekend and what does Sod’s law tell me?
I can almost gurantee a following headwind on my circuit!
Nicely put Frank.
Living in Wellington, we know all too well about bastard winds. Tonight we were blessed with a fairly still evening, but the shortening days are foretelling the opposite to what most of you have to look forward to. As we (@Bianchi Denti, @rigid and @ Kah) sat outside the pub drinking what we deemed to be ‘the last after-ride beers of the summer’, a kind of resignation permeated the mood. And the fact that we all had lights mounted to our bikes for the ride home punctuated the realisation that Rule #9 will be soon our raison d’etre.
Enjoy your summer, northern bastards.
For me, the only redeeming feature of a headwind is when you are on the front, head down, smashing it, while the rest of the group sits on your wheel complaining about the wind
@frank
Timely stuff as usual.
After a relatively strong start to the year in January, things have also got a bit lazy for me. Work/travel etc haven’t helped but can’t really be used for excuses.
I’ve just signed up for a couple of events to force myself back into training, a 240km sportive the weekend after Festum Prophetae that I’m going to ride to and from to push the distance out to the 320km/imperial double mark and the Rapha Manchester to London ride in September. The route is unannounced but the blurb makes reference to 350km of hard riding over varied terrain starting with Snake Pass.
There’s fuck ton, literally, of superfluous weight that I really don’t want to take with me on these two rides so a serious rebirth is required. A booze embargo was put in place last weekend and some serious dietary restrictions are going to have to be adhered to to make the most of the training. The bike probably also needs a bit of a rebirth.
As you said, Shit Just Got Real.
Sunday ride was in summer kit, oh boy. 20* and sunny. It felt incredible to be without all the winter clothing and the Guns were strong on the road after all that cross riding. Beautiful blue sky, Sunday steel bike, new shades that were a gift-to-self to get me through a long winter, and two hours of awesome riding. It was one of those rides where I thought the entire time, “Oh yeah, this is why I ride bikes.”
Yup, we’ve had a very unusual winter for these parts. Just last week an ice storm cut power to a whole lot of folks in the area. We’ve had multiple snow storms too, when normally we don’t get any.
And the races, the races! Strade Bianche, Paris-Nice, Tirreno Adriatico, my my my.
@Nate
Scary stuff. I’ve been carrying on for awhile now as an academic thinking, oh maybe, my work/research will do some good for the world.
Last week I just found out a guy I grew up with is a professor at the local, big-time university business school. He was happy to introduce me around to some colleagues. One of them is another business school professor and he works on similar stuff except, instead of writing books no one will read, he’s paid by corporations for his knowledge.
And now I suddenly realize I could keep on fighting the good fight or…get paid by private companies to help them make money, but essentially blow up the good I was working towards.
I’ve suddenly found myself in a very strange predicament.
@frank
Surely there’s only one real solution to having downwind leg rather than having a headwind on the way out turn into a headwind on the way home; do what Freddie Maertins did, ride with the wind behind you until knackered then turn round and ride home. That’s Rule #5.
@frank
Yep, that’s the look. Something of the plucked chicken about it.
@Chris Well that’s skiing done for another year (just back home) so now to pick up some serious miles for me too. Plans for 2015 being laid to do Ride The Rockies.
@Teocalli That looks a bit little bit lumpy for a fenlander like me.
@Chris
Yeah – even the rest stops are not exactly at Fen level over there. Just back from living at 2,875 metres which can be a challenge in itself when you first live at that altitude. Interestingly our bodies seem to acclimatise faster once we had been going there for a couple of years. Not sure whether that is fact or not but it definitely feels as though it is easier vs the first couple of seasons we spent out there.
@The Oracle
It was nice yesterday, wasn’t it? Lunchtime was gorgeous. If you went east first, no wonder the ride back was hard – that was a sneaky SW wind we had. Did a sweet 65kms in the evening and other than tons of melt water, it was great to wear slightly lighter clothing and feel a modicum of warmth in the air. Friggin 20s tomorrow though. Mother Nature is such as teaser.
@Teocalli Altitude can be a bugger to get used to. I spent a month on a hydro electric power scheme (2,900m at night, 3,500m during the day) in the Andes about ten years ago. I wasn’t into road bikes back then and smoked a bit as well. It was pretty foggy at that time of the year which didn’t help.
@wiscot
“Teaser” is right. Nothing too promising on the long-range forecast, either. The wind was tricky yesterday. Fond du Lac is situated on low ground on the south end of Lake Winnebago, so you can be lulled into a false sense of security. Once you get up onto the Ledge east of town, however, there’s nothing there to protect you. I suppose that’s why the entire east side of the lake is lined with windmills nowadays. And that’s where I choose to do most of my riding!
I was sopping wet by the time I reached the homestead as well. This is the time of the year in Wisconsin when it rains “up” instead of down.
@PeakInTwoYears
Eventually I’ll move up there. As soon as I get my boat done.
@The Oracle
Gorgeous it was, gentlemen, even a bit further north of you! Fender bikes are the schnitz for this stuff.
@ChrissyOne
Heh, my father-in-law moved there not so long ago, and has the hand-built boat to match. He’s just building himself and his family a house, too. While I’m at it, if anyone has any leather (or wood) that needs care — Brooks saddles, motorcycle gear, tack, and the like — he makes some of the best stuff going: skidmores.com [/shamelessly blatant plug]
It is a lovely town, and there’s a nice little bike shop just off the downtown main street, too. I was on a rental commuter, but it’s a great place to cycle.
I’m so jealous of all the locations where the weather has turned. As I drove home yesterday in +8 degrees and relatively dry roads I began to plan a weekend ride to kick of the season. Then I checked the forecast to find 5-10 cm of snow on the way tomorrow followed by daytime highs in the -6 range for another week or two.
I promise I wouldn’t bitch about the wind if only it would be spring.
@teleguy57 Where are you situated, teleguy?
@Jamie
Speak for yourself. You know you live someplace windy when people come from all over the world to kite board and wind surf 40K from your house, and it’s where you almost always have to ride if you’re going out for more than an hour or 2.
It’s windy enough in the Columbia River Gorge that we notice when it isn’t windy. As an added bonus, because of “heat transfer” or whatever it’s called, you’ll get the wind in your face in the morning on your way out, and as it warms up in the metro area, the wind switches and will be in your face on the way home. Rarely you get the wind at your back, but when you do, it’s totally awesome (like PDX Cogal V1.0)
@frank A visit to New Orleans for family AND Rouge Roubaix? (!) I can assure ya that there is most certainly a Laissez Les Bon Temps Roule attitude just about anywhere in Louisiana that carries in to the race. Early a.m. I’m squaring away start times and am informed by race staff that there is still time to get drunk. Probably only half serious I’m guessing. Anyways, someone from the master’s group posted this year’s race day blockhouse climb on youtube. This comes at mile 65 with grade in excess of 15% on gravel and the run-up road being lunar landscape. Last year was fresh gravel = deep and Hard. This year was washed out so FAST… therefore = Hard. That’s the old saying isn’t it? Doesn’t get easier, just faster. RC
@scaler911
Or how about east of the mountains? No wind over there…
@PeakInTwoYears
Funny, that’s exactly what I was thinking about when you mentioned Port Townsend. I’ve been there exactly twice. Got there both times by sailboat, first to have the boat measured for a dodger, then to have it installed. Great little town. Good ice-cream shop too.
Last weekend I rode the the Dalles Mtn 60 (96k) in shorts.
http://velodirt.com/dalles-mountain-60-2013-edition/
First ride of the season with legs showing. About 300 riders. Now legs until next winter!
@frank
They salt some of the main roads when they can, but by the time they got to my street, it was too cold for salt to be effective. Ergo, sand only. I think the daytime high at the time was around -24C or so, overnight lows near -35C, wind-chill into the -40s.
@wilburrox
I just read about that event. And saw this pic and read about this guy:
@The Oracle
Appleton.
@scaler911
Reading comprehension guys: PNW = Pacific Northwest and I specified “West of Mountains.”
Everyone around here knows that it blows like fuck on your dusty side of the pass…
@anthony
I have been a really terrible student for a few years. This year I decided I don’t want to be a middle aged grad student, so I’ve put the bikes away a few days a week and am determined to V-out the final leg of my studies.
I was an awesome cyclist for a few years though, and that’s not bad at all!
@Jamie
Scaler, which one of us is going to give Jamie the geography lesson? You should do it, because he’s being nice and hosting me for the Seattle Ronde.
@cyclebrarian I saw the same race report and that snapshot reminded me that last year I was w/a small group that’d been dropped in 1st gravel section and at around mile 60 or so heading in to 2nd gravel section some cat flew by hammering on his own and looking similar to this guy. I ran in to him after the race and it was pretty clear, after having gone down hard with the face leading in 1st gravel section, he finished the race on fury. I guess two things could happen, you call it a day or ya get really pissed and hammer. The pro 1/2 group finished race at just over 4 hours avg’ing speeds that I cannot imagine racing in gravel. Serious handling skills of a bike. And maybe a bit of reckless abandon an old man like me no longer enjoys.
@wilburrox
It seems like a really cool race/ride. I want to start riding gravel and would love to do it one day.
I see you’re from Pittsburgh and went to Pitt. I got my Master’s degree from U of Pitt (online), but we had to go up every semester for a face to face. Love that campus and area! Used to walk down Forbes Ave to get to and from class (stopping off at Primanti Bros. for one of those crazy good sandwiches). I miss going up there.
A little too cool for bare legs and arms, but the sun was out, and lookie lookie whats happening to the trees.
@wilburrox
Are we talking wide-tire road bikes for this route, or Graveur bikes with canti’s?
This race has completely captured my imagination.
@PeakInTwoYears
You do know where Portland is geographically right? Right at the west end of the firehose of wind that is The Gorge.
For your viewing pleasure, Vista House, Jan 16th of this year:
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@frank
It’s 71 degrees here on Maryland’s Eastern Shore today…wish I was out riding – can’t go after work ’cause I work until 8:00 tonight. We better enjoy it because it’s supposed to be 35 degrees on Thursday.
@teleguy57
Well, shit. We’re practically neighbors.
@frank
Here’s a video from their site: http://www.rougeroubaix.com/course-map.html
OK, OK, I guess I don’t know my own geography or meteorology. All I can say is that I have never been so effected by wind whilst cycling as I was during the four year sentence I served living a few blocks off of Lake Michigan in Chicago.
Around here I hear folks complain about wind during a ride and find myself thinking, “Oh, they’re right, there is a little breeze today.”
I can remember many Chicago rides where falling off the back 20 miles North of home is the difference between a 70 minute ride in and a two hour ride in.