Velominati Super Prestige: Le Tour de France, Stage 18

Bartali and Coppi ride high on the barren slopes of the Galibier

More than two of the three weeks of this Tour lie in the rearview mirror and the race is impossible to call; nearly every GC Contender has shown some kind of weakness or given something away that makes them look beatable. Contador was dropped on the first uphill finish. The Schlecks have been on the attack but have been unable to make the gains they need to insure a final victory. They’ve also reminded us that what goes up doesn’t always come down as easily. Evans has been the most consistent and oportunistic, but has been racing hard since day one and, while he’s been close, he’s done little to stamp his authority on the race. Voekler has been defying the odds for nine days and continues to hang on to a lead which looks more tenable with each passing day.

So far, the “minor” mountain stages – those without uphill finishes – have proven to be as decisive as those with uphill finishes.  Normally reserved for the opportunist breakaway and a non-issue for the GC riders, Stage 17’s rain-slicked descent saw some of the best racing we’ve seen this year buddied up with the biggest impact on the GC since Tommy V took the Maillot Jaune.

Indeed, this year has everyone sitting around the table, questioning the accepted tactics of the recent past. The riders who go fast uphill will need to do something more than just attack a few k’s from the finish. Perhaps they are considering an Hinaultesque attack on a descent before the finishing climb. Or perhaps a Merckxian attack on the first pass, going long to take a huge advantage.

One thing is for certain: the rider who wins this Tour will not necessarily be the strongest one, for we’ve seen they are all closely matched. No, the winner will be the one who decides the old rulebook is better suited for toilet paper than a race manual. The winner will be the one who thinks creatively, leaves caution in the parking lot where Voekler punched his ticket today, and takes an extra dose of Rule #5 (I’m looking at you, Andy).

At this point, whomever rolls into Paris with the Yellow jersey on their shoulders will get the nod of approval from this guy. (Except Contador, obvs.) Vive le Tour, bitches.

Get your picks in by 5am Pacific tomorrow morning for the chance to win 3, 2, or 1 points for the podium spots, and 1 point for 4th and 5th places.  Good luck.

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304 Replies to “Velominati Super Prestige: Le Tour de France, Stage 18”

  1. Geeze can’t get enough of watching a peleton of GC hopes wheel suck Cadel. Deja vu.

  2. Does anyone else really enjoy Tommy V’s interviews on Versus/NBC. He always gets very, very serious looks on his face as he is thinking of a reply. Maybe it’s the language barrier? He seems to actually think about the question and not just reply with a cliche. Probably has a better grip on English than most NBA/NFL players.

    He usually slips in a joke as well. More reason for me to like him!

  3. @frank

    Andy, if you come live with me, I promise to care for you, and feed you every day!

    Bromance?

  4. AHHHH! I should have ditched work today! Can’t believe I have to wait until 20:00 EST to watch this. And I’ll have to fight for the t.v. with a friend I’m staying with while traveling for work. He likes to watch Seinfeld, which he’s seen countless times, while I sit there praying he’ll let me watch the race. Bastard. Reruns or the Galibier?!

    Might have to go to bed early and wake up at midnight to watch it in full.

  5. The entire universe was made for the sole purpose of housing the massive balls shown in this ride.

  6. Holy Merckx’s cock. I would have never predicted that was how today would turn out. TV, fucking HARD. Angry stomach, whilst not a hardman, killed it today and moved up a couple notches in my book. Cuddles dragging the whole group like a madman, awesome. Bertie can put his ‘pistola’ away. I love this sport!

  7. Voeckler!! He went waaay deep into the pain cave for that one! Chapeau!!

    That said, Andy needs to get bad ass again tomorrow and stick the shiv in one more time to finish him off.

  8. @Ron

    AHHHH! I should have ditched work today! Can’t believe I have to wait until 20:00 EST to watch this. And I’ll have to fight for the t.v. with a friend I’m staying with while traveling for work. He likes to watch Seinfeld, which he’s seen countless times, while I sit there praying he’ll let me watch the race. Bastard. Reruns or the Galibier?!
    Might have to go to bed early and wake up at midnight to watch it in full.

    Slip him 100 of benadryl. He’ll sleep like a baby, you can watch one of the best stages of the tour in a long time.

  9. HOLY SHIT, Tomorrow’s going to be awesome!!!

    How much time do the Schlecks need on Cuddles going into the ITT on Saturday???

    I hope that Cuddles does something tomorrow and wins it overall on Saturday!!!

  10. Grimp Jr, (Good) Cadel, Tommy V – epic grinta. Chapeau!

    Still absolutely all to play for between cadel and the schleckles tomorrow though, there’s the real win!

  11. Cannot wait to watch that this evening…

    Chapeau Andy, Tommy The V and the very Good Cadel

    Seems slightly irrelevant that rain has stopped play in the cricket!

  12. The Schlecks will need a lead on Cadel going into the TT, but the TT course has a fair amount of vertical, which might possibly negate a bit of Cadel’s TT-ing prowess…

    Sean Kelly doing an on-camera interview. He’s got those really narrow shoulders from all the broken collarbones…

  13. What bike race were u guys watching? Voeckler rode like a turd. If he helped Cadel a bit they would have got a LOT closer – but ok you say he couldn’t help. Well what the fuck was his teammate there for? He did nothing.

    Cuddles rode ’em all off his wheel. I still think Evans wins.

    Great ride from Andy. Great rode

  14. Could that have been better?! The three guys we hope can impress did so with panache for days. Schlecklette blasting off the front, The Train Diesel Engine Evans dragging the whole bunch behind him up a mountain, and Tommy V riding so far outside himself he’s in a different galaxy. All the while Bertie dropped off the back.

    Epic, indeed!

  15. Mikael – I meant Cadel. I was suffering from overexcitement due to Tracker Titillation!

    scaler…very, very good idea. It fucking kills me. Damn dude, you’ve seen this show fifteen times! And you haven’t don’t anything today but get up, watch t.v., go to work, eat takeout, and now watch four more hours of t.v. Go for a walk or something!

    I think I’m sadly becoming aware of how many Americans do nothing outside of work except watch t.v., play with their phone, and eat life-strangling take out food. It makes me sad, but also pisses me off. When I’m working hard it pushes me that much more to do something awesome and fun each day, like ride my bike or get outside or play some soccer.

    And along these lines, some days I feel sleepy or not so good, yet I exercise, eat well, don’t smoke, don’t drink soft drinks. Yet I look around and I see people smoking all day, drinking soda all day, not exercising. What the fuck must they feel like?! What must their insides look like?

    I’m beginning to think that if cocaine was the scourge of the 90s, fast food and soda are the scourge of the 2kTeens. (I’m of course not the first to notice the obesity problem but I just can’t believe what people put into their bodies on a daily basis. It’s fucking shocking and disgusting.)

  16. @Ron
    I’ve worked in medicine for 22 years. It used to be that 80 kilo 8 year olds were rare. Now, almost the norm. In the OR we have equipment that is ‘oversized’ and gets used everyday. Had a 220K patient a couple days ago.
    Shameless self promotion: http://www.mightywombat.com/readblather.php?id=54 (I’m nurse jack).

    And now back to Le Tour!

  17. Epic stage! Great ride by Andy and although he faded badly he timed his ride perfectly. Critics answered. I’m wondering if the Brothers agreed to work to get Andy the Galibier and Frank the overall. Shitty move from Frank to sit on all the way and jump at the line but that’s his call.
    @Blah

    Geeze can’t get enough of watching a peleton of GC hopes wheel suck Cadel. Deja vu.

    Really? Cuddles put in a ride like that, showing all that driVe, towing the field, blowing up the race, cracking Bertie and you have to pull out the old wheelsucker call. He’s been a top 10 TT rider his whole career. He rides wheels on big stages, to survive, like everyone. It’s not ironman. Cadel was a total stud today.
    I still can’t work out if Basso is surviving or holding back. Today might have played out perfectly for him. Tomorrow or nothing…
    Tommy deserves his props but the thread must snap soon. The ITT will be his undoing now.

  18. That photo is awesome but the shitty thing is that the leopard died and the guy he chomped didn’t. Goddamn, that must have been insane. I know what it feels like to repel my 8 lbs. cat when it goes bonkers and attacks my legs.

  19. Andy Shleck, I take it all back! That was an incredible exploit to break away on the Izoard and hold it to the top of the Mighty Galibier. Oddly sad to see Contador crack. Another gutsy ride by TV to hang onto Maillot Jaune also, but my bet it will be Evans wearing the final Yellow Jersey in Paris…

  20. @harminator

    @Blah

    Geeze can’t get enough of watching a peleton of GC hopes wheel suck Cadel. Deja vu.

    Really? Cuddles put in a ride like that, showing all that driVe, towing the field, blowing up the race, cracking Bertie and you have to pull out the old wheelsucker call.

    I think you misinterpreted the statement entirely. @Blah is saying the GC were wheelsucking Evans. Basso didn’t do a single turn at the front, was he that much on the rivet?

  21. @Collin
    Yes, but suggesting that Cadel is getting payback for wheelsucking other GC riders in the past.

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