Velominati Super Prestige: Paris-Roubaix 2016

Every time I’ve ridden the Roubaix pavé, I’ve peed the next few days like I got VD from some dirty cobble. That might not really sell the non-believer on the pleasure of riding the sacred stones, but there truly is nothing like it anywhere else in the world. Here in Seattle, we have cobbled climbs and they are by all rights legitimately rough. But they pale in comparison to the brutality of the Flemish kasseien, and the Flemish kasseien pale in comparison to the French pavé.

When riding the cobbles, I sometimes find myself almost having an out of body experience, amazed at the fact that bicycle and rider are carrying on in a generally forward progression. On one occasion, I even found myself staring at a bidon that had ejected from my Arundel Mandible bidon cage, which itself says something about how rough the ride was. The bottle seemed to hang in the air for a moment as time slowed and I wondered firstly how the bidon had found its way past my top tube, and secondly whether I should fight the strangely strong urge to try and catch it.

Several of our V-Community brethren are over in Lille as we speak, riding the cobbles with our friends William and Alex from Pavé Cycling Classics and swilling Malteni like fools. They are over there because the thrilling sensation of savage shaking when you hit a secteur at speed from the smooth tarmac followed by the sense of overwhelming relief when the shaking stops as you return once again to the smooth pavement is an itch you have to keep scratching.

Sunday is Paris-Roubaix, the Queen of the Classics. And this time, it really does look like it’s going to be muddy and raining. Thank Merckx. Recall that Tom Boonen is the only favorite in the Peloton who has raced Paris-Roubaix in the wet, in 2002. Fourteen years since a muddy edition. Fourteen.

Will Boonen make it an unprecedented V wins? Or will Faboo come good and tie the record to join Boonen and de Vlaeminck? Or will Pinchy do the double and take his second monument? My money is on rain and an upset winner.

Don’t forget that the VSP Series winner takes home a custom Don Walker and that the runner-up gets a set of handbuilt Café Roubaix CR Wheelworks Arenberg wheels. Third place get a V-Kit. So start your prognostications on the start list, pray to whatever deity that melts your butter, and get your picks in by the time the timer goes to zero.
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385 Replies to “Velominati Super Prestige: Paris-Roubaix 2016”

  1. @Harminator

    @Mikael Liddy

    MATTY FUCKEN HAYMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    So much to like about this win. He’s a genuine tradesman. I snapped him as he came to the last turn at Carrefour. He looked dropped. At least 8 lengths. I gave him an earful. The mood afterwards was very sombre. Even the French were hoping for Tommeke’s V. Stunning win.

    Holy SMOKES what a photo!  Chapeau to you!  THAT is riding the crown.  One of two places to ride the pave’.  Super, super photo.

  2. @wiscot

    @Gianni

    @ChrisO

    I was thinking that too, better that it be unattainable. But he came awfully close. What a monster race.

    I need to come down.

    I was gutted for Tommeke – so, so close, but each rider in that five man break would have been a worthy winner. That being said, to lose a race by so little that means so much, Boonen showed unbelievable class on and off the podium. No scowling, no petted lip. Happy for Hayman. It’s why I love Queen Marianne and Tommeke, even when they don’t win, they show exceptional sportsmanship.

    Yes, that is the only way to properly express it.  I am just gutted for Tommeke. But yes, he is pure class and I pray that he keeps riding at this level for another few years yet.

  3. @frank

    I had not truly appreciated the awesomeness of Sagan’s bike handling to avoid crashing with Fabian. Fabian made a classic mistake of getting on the side of the crown which can be treacherous, especially in the mud. But Sags just rides right over Fabians bike. Also in the slippiest bit of the pavé! Amazing!

    The term here in the US for what Sagan did is “monster trucking.”

  4. There could possibly be a bit of good news for Tommeke not winning….My theory was and still is that if he had won this year would have been his last.  Since he did not, we may be treated to Tom Boonen destroying the cobbles one more time in 2017!

  5. The thing is, Tommeke obviously still has it. Give him a couple more years and some bad weather and he still has a chance at the record. Nice to see Hinault, Duclos-Lasalle and Moser testifying to the awesomeness of the race, praising Boonen but giving Hayman props. Interestingly, no comment from DeVlaeminck.

    There were no rookies in that final selection of five. A few years ago, Boonen would have romped home by a few lengths in that sprint but he’d burned a big, big match chasing Hayman down.

  6. Here is a really crappy little excel spreadsheet I just made of the latest two greatest riders of P-R and of RDV and Merckx’s results.

    I was feeling REALLY bad for Tommeke but then when you think that not only did RDV have four wins, he also had four second places, it is not quite so bad for Tommeke.

         Ridden   Finished      Top 10        Top 5    Podium        Third     Second            Won
    RDV 13 13 13 10 9 1 4 4
    Merckx 12 12 10 7 5 0 2 3
    Tommeke 13 12 11 8 7 1 2 4
    Sparty 12 11 8 7 6 1 2 3

     

  7. Sheeez, that looks even worse now that it posted.  The whole top row shifted to the right a bit.   Sorry about that!

  8. @wiscot

    I was gutted for Tommeke – so, so close, but each rider in that five man break would have been a worthy winner. That being said, to lose a race by so little that means so much, Boonen showed unbelievable class on and off the podium. No scowling, no petted lip. Happy for Hayman. It’s why I love Queen Marianne and Tommeke, even when they don’t win, they show exceptional sportsmanship.Caught a bit of the Masters in the afternoon. Didn’t see too many guys at Augusta finishing on their knees with the tank drained dry and they get what? $1.5M for the win?

    I wouldn’t be gutted about Tommeke. He didn’t lose RBX, i.e., got caught and passed at the line. He just didn’t win. Difference IMHO. The fact that he was able to smile afterwards says it all.

    Comparing bicycle racing to golf is apples to oranges … if that. Golf is hard in a whole different way. Professional athletes get paid for what the market bears for their particular sport. And as golfer (not very good one) with a daughter who is a very good golfer and has tremendous potential (not that she’ll turn pro), I don’t begrudge pro golfers anything that they win/earn. Each of them is essentially their own man/woman. They don’t draw a salary (yes, I know almost all of them have some sort of sponsorship and the best of them have more in sponsorships than they do in winnings). Nonetheless, they are responsible for paying their expenses. And they don’t collect a check unless they make the cut. On any given tournament week, about half of those who entered go home with empty pockets but still have expenses associated with playing.

  9. @bea

    @wiscot

    Actually RDV did comment, but I’m not sure I should translate it…

    http://m.nieuwsblad.be/cnt/dmf20160411_02230203

    (Basically he says he’s happy boonen didn’t win. He’s probably the only Belgian who feels that way.)

    He was the man on the bike, and one of my riding heroes, but he is coming across as a bit of a dick in his comments…

    I was going to cry if Tom won, I’m man enough to admit.

    He got boxed in, pure and simple, first by SVM (He is a fucking wheel sucker extroadinnaire until he has the opportunity to attack later in the race, I don’t like it, but this makes him a very smart racer, like Gerro) then by Stannard (he had a great ride).

    I dunno if Tom will get that opportunity again, the crash and subsequent Panzerttack put the split that he needed over Sags and Fabs. If Sags and Fabs made the selection, as they may well do next year, they would have it over Tom in the velodrome I think. With a year of good form building, he could be in with a better shout though (Not at RVV, just the flatter PR). He certainly looked stronger than I have seen him, I kept yelling at him to get off the front!

    Toms attack in the final few km’s where Hayman bridged, I was standing and screaming at him to go. I had to apologise to my mate, as I was at his house, and it was 3 in the morning. “Just tell your neighbours it’s your crazy mate”.

    A fantastic race!

     

     

  10. @Buck Rogers

    @wiscot

    @Gianni

    @ChrisO

    I was thinking that too, better that it be unattainable. But he came awfully close. What a monster race.

    I need to come down.

    I was gutted for Tommeke – so, so close, but each rider in that five man break would have been a worthy winner. That being said, to lose a race by so little that means so much, Boonen showed unbelievable class on and off the podium. No scowling, no petted lip. Happy for Hayman. It’s why I love Queen Marianne and Tommeke, even when they don’t win, they show exceptional sportsmanship.

    Yes, that is the only way to properly express it. I am just gutted for Tommeke. But yes, he is pure class and I pray that he keeps riding at this level for another few years yet.

    Tomeke is the embodiment of a class sportsman for sure. Went up a few notches for sure in my book. I had to add some extra notches.

  11. Cyclingtips posted a good interview with Tommeke from after the race on Sunday that includes something worth remembering, P-R was actually the initial date he was given by doctors to start riding again after fracturing his skull last year…assuming he has the motivation to go around again, a full prep for classics season will probably see a very different Boonen lining up.

  12. @Harminator

    @Mikael Liddy

    MATTY FUCKEN HAYMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    So much to like about this win. He’s a genuine tradesman. I snapped him as he came to the last turn at Carrefour. He looked dropped. At least 8 lengths. I gave him an earful. The mood afterwards was very sombre. Even the French were hoping for Tommeke’s V. Stunning win.

    That is an awesome photo, I’m assuming that’s just after he got gapped by Stannard dive bombing him on the inside of the corner leading on to the cobbles. Have to admit I thought his race was done at that point.

  13. @Mikael Liddy

    @Harminator

    @Mikael Liddy

    MATTY FUCKEN HAYMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    So much to like about this win. He’s a genuine tradesman. I snapped him as he came to the last turn at Carrefour. He looked dropped. At least 8 lengths. I gave him an earful. The mood afterwards was very sombre. Even the French were hoping for Tommeke’s V. Stunning win.

    That is an awesome photo, I’m assuming that’s just after he got gapped by Stannard dive bombing him on the inside of the corner leading on to the cobbles. Have to admit I thought his race was done at that point.

    +1 on the photo, – two key moments in the final, Hayman getting distanced at the start of the last 5 star stones, he was back by the end of the sector, massive, and his bridge and attack of Boonen was awesome, huge match @Mikael Liddy, for Boonen to get back on – this was probably the difference on the line.

    @Buck Rogers, you’re welcome.

  14. @piwakawaka

    Thanks, Mate!  I appreciate the try but ASO has already pulled that link down.

    Fuckers!  First they do not revenue share with the teams and riders and then they do not let the public watch it either!

  15. @chuckp

    I know, Tommeke got beaten, he didn’t “lose”. Poor word choice on my part.

    As for the golf, it’s just my annual rant as the Masters usually finishes on the same Sunday as P-R. I think it would be fair to say Speith “lost” the Masters though.

  16. @piwakawaka

    Yeah, Boonen put in such a huge effort to get back to Hayman, I think that cooked him for good. I think we’ll see him on the start line next year. Of course, if he wins (or gets beaten) he’ll show DeVlaeminck what good sportsmanship looks like.

  17. @ChrisO

    @dyalander

    @brett

    Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.

    You gotta love the workhorse win – Vansummeren had a bit of the unlikely rock-star about him (although it may just be that he reminds me of the lead singer of Space Hog – who remembers In the Meantime?) – Hayman is more of knockabout – an experienced old head who knows the score, but instead of being grizzled and jaded, he’s kept a spark and now he’s got his reward: http://cyclingtips.com/2016/04/hayman-on-his-extraordinary-paris-roubaix-win-there-is-no-way-i-expected-it-would-end-up-like-this/

    BTW, Hayman mentions all the time he was spending on the trainer in his virtual world.

    He was using Zwift a lot, even took part in some of the group rides and races.

    Yup, time for me to “Pull A Hayman” and hit the rollers at lunch here.

    I am currently riding, on average, five days a week and 3 or 4 of those rides are rollers each week.  With my schedule I can carve out an hour to an hour-twenty during lunch most days for a roller ride and escape outside on Sat and, if lucky, Sunday as well but the lion’s share of my training is on rollers.  Yes, it sucks compared to outside and I would ride outside every day of the week if I could but with my job, I have to be available during lunch for emergency walk in patients and I am not willing to take time from the family after work to ride (although I do commute most days–only 6 k’s but every little bit helps).

    No doubt it builds fitness like crazy.  I started back on the bike “In Earnest” on DEC 18, 2015 and I have been averaging 4 rides a week and I have taken off 11 full kilograms in that time since DEC.  Now I have also been watching how much, and what, I have been eating and drinking but there is no doubt that for my lifestyle, rollers are paying off in spades.

    Now if I could just find a 2016 P-R youtube video at least 1 hour long (my minimal roller ride time)!!!

  18. @wiscot

    @chuckp

    I know, Tommeke got beaten, he didn’t “lose”. Poor word choice on my part.

    As for the golf, it’s just my annual rant as the Masters usually finishes on the same Sunday as P-R. I think it would be fair to say Speith “lost” the Masters though.

    “Threw away” is a better description. :-)

    “Gutted” is when Steve Bauer loses Paris-Roubaix to Eddy Planckert by mm’s in 1990.

  19. Wait, not 11 kilos lost!  5.5 full kilos lost!  (My Yank is showing–converting from just over 11 pounds lost to kilos!)

    Shite!!!  I wish 11 kilos!!!

  20. @chuckp

    @wiscot

    @chuckp

    I know, Tommeke got beaten, he didn’t “lose”. Poor word choice on my part.

    As for the golf, it’s just my annual rant as the Masters usually finishes on the same Sunday as P-R. I think it would be fair to say Speith “lost” the Masters though.

    “Threw away” is a better description. :-)

    “Gutted” is when Steve Bauer loses Paris-Roubaix to Eddy Planckert by mm’s in 1990.

    Yup, I still wake in the middle of the night in a cold sweat over that one.

  21. @Buck Rogers

    @ChrisO

    @dyalander

    @brett

    Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.

    You gotta love the workhorse win – Vansummeren had a bit of the unlikely rock-star about him (although it may just be that he reminds me of the lead singer of Space Hog – who remembers In the Meantime?) – Hayman is more of knockabout – an experienced old head who knows the score, but instead of being grizzled and jaded, he’s kept a spark and now he’s got his reward: http://cyclingtips.com/2016/04/hayman-on-his-extraordinary-paris-roubaix-win-there-is-no-way-i-expected-it-would-end-up-like-this/

    BTW, Hayman mentions all the time he was spending on the trainer in his virtual world.

    He was using Zwift a lot, even took part in some of the group rides and races.

    Yup, time for me to “Pull A Hayman” and hit the rollers at lunch here.

    I am currently riding, on average, five days a week and 3 or 4 of those rides are rollers each week. With my schedule I can carve out an hour to an hour-twenty during lunch most days for a roller ride and escape outside on Sat and, if lucky, Sunday as well but the lion’s share of my training is on rollers. Yes, it sucks compared to outside and I would ride outside every day of the week if I could but with my job, I have to be available during lunch for emergency walk in patients and I am not willing to take time from the family after work to ride (although I do commute most days–only 6 k’s but every little bit helps).

    No doubt it builds fitness like crazy. I started back on the bike “In Earnest” on DEC 18, 2015 and I have been averaging 4 rides a week and I have taken off 11 full kilograms in that time since DEC. Now I have also been watching how much, and what, I have been eating and drinking but there is no doubt that for my lifestyle, rollers are paying off in spades.

    Now if I could just find a 2016 P-R youtube video at least 1 hour long (my minimal roller ride time)!!!

    Interestingly I was reading some other interviews he’s done and specifically about the indoor training.

    He was saying he was very much an outdoor cyclist only and hated being on the trainer but he’d found Zwift much better than watching movies or TV series while on the turbo. He felt that because it was cycling, albeit of a virtual kind, he was able to concentrate on the training better.

    I’d totally agree with that. I was saying to the guys on the Cogal last week that all my training is indoors now. Outside is fun and social, or racing, but training is much more precise and focused inside.

     

  22. @Mikael Liddy

    Take 20 minutes to sit back & enjoy this…

    This was brilliant, just brilliant.  I watched it on the rollers and I must be getting old and sentimental but it truly brought tears to me eyes, esp at the 12:00 min mark when he is saying that “this just does not happen” and he keeps repeating it.  So so so great.

  23. @Buck Rogers yeah, what’s telling is seeing the reactions of the guys like Durbridge & Bewley, they’re all so stoked for the guy, kinda gives you an idea of his standing within the team.

     

  24.    

    Found this picture this morning, wow, i may always think of this picture from now on when i think of Paris Roubaix.   (credit CyclingTips/Kristof Ramon)

  25. While Hayman’s win was totally deserved, I think Boonen should have gotten this one…

    The most critical mistake Tom made was not that he got boxed in, but that he eased up after he caught Hayman (right before entering the velodrome), which allowed Sep and then Stannard to come back. If Tom had kept up the pace from the front, with Hayman in his wheel, he would have had a much bigger chance of winning the race. Hayman would probably have been happy with doing a ceremonial sprint and settle for 2nd place, while leaving the win and all-time record for Tom.

    If the pace going into the velodrome had been a tad higher, Sep would probably have settled for the final podium spot, a couple bike lengths behind Boonen/Hayman, or – if Stannard would have been able to bridge to Sep before the second-to-last straightaway – those two would have being doing their own track dance for third place.

    In a 2-up sprint, Hayman would also have been under much more mental pressure… a 37-year old domestique trying to outsprint Boonen in front of thousands of Belgians cheering on the other guy, while knowing that he had already accomplished an amazing feat and he was guaranteed 2nd place.

    Now, with Sep and Stannard back in the mix, we had a four-up sprint and Hayman had to give it everything to make sure he ended on the podium, but to his own disbelief neither Boonen, Stannard or Sep had enough left in the tank to come around him and beat them all to the line.

    What a race!

  26. @Beers

    @bea

    @wiscot

    Actually RDV did comment, but I’m not sure I should translate it…

    http://m.nieuwsblad.be/cnt/dmf20160411_02230203

    (Basically he says he’s happy boonen didn’t win. He’s probably the only Belgian who feels that way.)

    He was the man on the bike, and one of my riding heroes, but he is coming across as a bit of a dick in his comments…

    I was going to cry if Tom won, I’m man enough to admit.

    He got boxed in, pure and simple, first by SVM (He is a fucking wheel sucker extroadinnaire until he has the opportunity to attack later in the race, I don’t like it, but this makes him a very smart racer, like Gerro) then by Stannard (he had a great ride).

    I dunno if Tom will get that opportunity again, the crash and subsequent Panzerttack put the split that he needed over Sags and Fabs. If Sags and Fabs made the selection, as they may well do next year, they would have it over Tom in the velodrome I think. With a year of good form building, he could be in with a better shout though (Not at RVV, just the flatter PR). He certainly looked stronger than I have seen him, I kept yelling at him to get off the front!

    Toms attack in the final few km’s where Hayman bridged, I was standing and screaming at him to go. I had to apologise to my mate, as I was at his house, and it was 3 in the morning. “Just tell your neighbours it’s your crazy mate”.

    A fantastic race!

    Good old RDV, he never fails to disappoint when a bitter, barbed soundbite is required. He could learn a lot from Boonen regarding how to conduct yourself. Class verses Arse.

     

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