Velominati Super Prestige: Paris-Roubaix 2016

Every time I’ve ridden the Roubaix pavé, I’ve peed the next few days like I got VD from some dirty cobble. That might not really sell the non-believer on the pleasure of riding the sacred stones, but there truly is nothing like it anywhere else in the world. Here in Seattle, we have cobbled climbs and they are by all rights legitimately rough. But they pale in comparison to the brutality of the Flemish kasseien, and the Flemish kasseien pale in comparison to the French pavé.

When riding the cobbles, I sometimes find myself almost having an out of body experience, amazed at the fact that bicycle and rider are carrying on in a generally forward progression. On one occasion, I even found myself staring at a bidon that had ejected from my Arundel Mandible bidon cage, which itself says something about how rough the ride was. The bottle seemed to hang in the air for a moment as time slowed and I wondered firstly how the bidon had found its way past my top tube, and secondly whether I should fight the strangely strong urge to try and catch it.

Several of our V-Community brethren are over in Lille as we speak, riding the cobbles with our friends William and Alex from Pavé Cycling Classics and swilling Malteni like fools. They are over there because the thrilling sensation of savage shaking when you hit a secteur at speed from the smooth tarmac followed by the sense of overwhelming relief when the shaking stops as you return once again to the smooth pavement is an itch you have to keep scratching.

Sunday is Paris-Roubaix, the Queen of the Classics. And this time, it really does look like it’s going to be muddy and raining. Thank Merckx. Recall that Tom Boonen is the only favorite in the Peloton who has raced Paris-Roubaix in the wet, in 2002. Fourteen years since a muddy edition. Fourteen.

Will Boonen make it an unprecedented V wins? Or will Faboo come good and tie the record to join Boonen and de Vlaeminck? Or will Pinchy do the double and take his second monument? My money is on rain and an upset winner.

Don’t forget that the VSP Series winner takes home a custom Don Walker and that the runner-up gets a set of handbuilt Café Roubaix CR Wheelworks Arenberg wheels. Third place get a V-Kit. So start your prognostications on the start list, pray to whatever deity that melts your butter, and get your picks in by the time the timer goes to zero.
[vsp_results id=”41032″/]

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385 Replies to “Velominati Super Prestige: Paris-Roubaix 2016”

  1. Given how badly my VSP has gone so far I’m chucking a hail mary at this one.

     

    Also I’ve unaccountably

    rendered myself unable to watch live. But it’s OK, as the reason I’m missing it is for a screening of the new Obree film with a Q&A afterwards with the man himself. I mean how can you not go to that?

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Stannard
    2. Sagan
    3. Stybar
    4. Kristoff
    5. Claeys
  2. @Rusty Gramm

    Fabian on paper should win, but he seems to be lacking a kill switch this year.

    Uh, you don’t think the way Fabs rode to win Strade Bianchi (including dropping Sagan) is a kill switch?

  3. VSP PICKS:

    1. Fabian Cancellara
    2. Edvald Boasson Hagen
    3. Zdenek Stybar
    4. Peter Sagan
    5. Stijn Vandenbergh
  4. I really want Tommeke to take the win.  He didn’t seem to push himself too hard in the Ronde, so hopefully he was keeping his powder dry.  In the end I think only Niki will have the legs to follow the decisive move and Big Tom will let him go.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Sagan
    2. Cancellara
    3. Terpstra
    4. Stannard
    5. Boom
  5. @chuckp

    Strada Bianca was impressive, but since then he’s been very good, but not Fabian good.  i hope he does it this sunday, but i’m not expecting it.

  6. How excited and lucky are we eurosport (contact your service provider) viewers about the full coverage on Sunday? Starting at 9.15am! I have duly informed the better half that this Sunday is cancelled.

    Can’t. Fucking. Wait.

  7. @chuckp

    That would be unexpected but I think he’s too light. Tommeke’s legs weigh 148lbs.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Boonen
    2. Cancellara
    3. Vanmarke
    4. Stybar
    5. Sagan
  8. @dinosaurJR

    Whats for Sunday dinner? Pavé; Sur la Plaque.

    Yummy.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Faboo
    2. Pinchy Sagan
    3. Whaleshark
    4. Sep VanMarcke
    5. Luke Rowe

    Whaleshark is big Tony, in case anyone wondered (it isnt mapping).

  9. @hudson

    I’m not sure Lefevre could afford Tommeke AND Pinchy and if he was to sign the latter, the former might leave, unless he’s willing to end his illustrious career as a full-time domestique.

  10. @frank

     

    The only danger for you lot is more and more of you are putting the same rider in two places and whenever that happens we’re just deleting both picks from the system and, if we can be bothered, we let you know here in the thread. Don’t Piti Principle that shit, people. For cereal.

    I’ve often wondered how much trouble I’d get in by having these as my picks:

    1.  E. Merckx

    2.  E. Merckx

    3.  E. Merckx

    4.  E. Merckx

    5.  E. Merckx

  11. VSP PICKS:

    1. Peter Sagan
    2. Fabian Cancellara
    3. Sep Vanmarcke
    4. Luke Rowe
    5. Zdenek Stybar
  12. @Harminator

    @frank

    @Bianchi Denti

    Finally. FFS.

    I’m sorry to burst your bubbles but Ive just got back to Lille after riding Orchies to Carrefour and nothing looked like that. There was heavy rain yesterday but not sustained. The forecast is “chance of rain” but it looks like the odd squall. As soon as rain passes the wind quickly dries the stones. The wind was hellish strong from the south west today. Very damaging. The last stretches of Mons en Pevele and Carrefour were killer. I’d be happy to be wrong but a muddy Roubaix is not looking likely.

    Here’s @el franco arriving at Carrefour.

    So you got to the café before @el Franco?

  13. @Harminator

    @frank

    @Bianchi Denti

    Finally. FFS.

    I’m sorry to burst your bubbles but Ive just got back to Lille after riding Orchies to Carrefour and nothing looked like that. There was heavy rain yesterday but not sustained. The forecast is “chance of rain” but it looks like the odd squall. As soon as rain passes the wind quickly dries the stones. The wind was hellish strong from the south west today. Very damaging. The last stretches of Mons en Pevele and Carrefour were killer. I’d be happy to be wrong but a muddy Roubaix is not looking likely.

    Here’s @el franco arriving at Carrefour.

    Hi Rickx! So jealous, but good to hear that you guys are enjoying yourselves. Hi to Alex and William.

    My photo was from our memorable KT2015 Saturday ride through hell. I posted it as an offering to the weather gods to encourage them to piss all over du Nord.

  14. It seems that Tommeke might be planning on going out on a high note…

    “…winning Roubaix for the 5th time, that’s the only reason I’m still racing.”

  15. Am I the only one hoping Stijn Vandenbergh goes on a flier for all his Etix overlords and just never lets up? And wins! Son of a bitch he is tall.

    1. Sagan
    2. Terpstra
    3. VanMarcke
    4. Cancellara
    5. Stybar

    VSP PICKS:

    1. sagan
    2. terpstra
    3. cancellara
    4. vanmarcke
    5. stybar
  16. Taking it back to the ‘good old days’ with a Mapei-esque domination display. Ettix get some Saturday Night LeFevre Gear, My Favourite Martin tows them for30km and they roll in 1-2-3 with Frites doing the Museeuw look-back across the line, which he then snorts up before chipping his teeth from grinding so hard on the cobblestone trophy.

    This won’t happen.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Frites
    2. Z-neck
    3. My Favourite Martin
    4. Sags
    5. Fabs
  17. @Gianni

    Am I the only one hoping Stijn Vandenbergh goes on a flier for all his Etix overlords and just never lets up? And wins! Son of a bitch he is tall.

    He’s too stupid to do anything except chase down his own teammates, drag other teams across, or crash. God forbid if Frites is away and this moron decides he wants to get across too.

     

  18. @chuckp

    My new dark horse pick … Phil Gaimon. 6’1″ and 148 pounds. The perfect build for L’enfer du Nord.

    http://velonews.competitor.com/2016/04/news/surprise-phil-gaimons-racing-paris-roubaix_401781

    Just read this and I am moved to note that he’s also an exceptionally nice young man to boot. Last September on a very hot Saturday afternoon my friend Julian and I were climbing Latigo. An Iconic climb in the Santa Monicas. Both of us have 50 well in the rear view mirror now.  I was well ahead and Phil passed me. I forget which domestic team he rode for last year but the bikes were Diamondbacks. As he sailed passed me I recognized him and said hi.  Later Julian told me that half way up the climb he was out of water and stopped for some shade under a tree. Phil stopped to check on him and gave him some water from his bidon.  You just wont ever see anything like that in any other sport I think.

     

  19. @brett

    It seems that Tommeke might be planning on going out on a high note…

    “…winning Roubaix for the 5th time, that’s the only reason I’m still racing.”

    Thanks for posting that. Awesome stuff and it lead on to a whole bunch of other great vids.

  20. whoops, premature.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Fabian Cancellara
    2. Lars Boom
    3. Peter Sagan
    4. Tony Martin
    5. Alexander Kristoff
  21. I hope Taylor has a good ride on Sunday.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Cancellara
    2. Stybar
    3. Sagan
    4. Phinney
    5. Boonen
  22. @paolo

    @chuckp

    My new dark horse pick … Phil Gaimon. 6’1″ and 148 pounds. The perfect build for L’enfer du Nord.

    http://velonews.competitor.com/2016/04/news/surprise-phil-gaimons-racing-paris-roubaix_401781

    Just read this and I am moved to note that he’s also an exceptionally nice young man to boot. Last September on a very hot Saturday afternoon my friend Julian and I were climbing Latigo. An Iconic climb in the Santa Monicas. Both of us have 50 well in the rear view mirror now. I was well ahead and Phil passed me. I forget which domestic team he rode for last year but the bikes were Diamondbacks. As he sailed passed me I recognized him and said hi. Later Julian told me that half way up the climb he was out of water and stopped for some shade under a tree. Phil stopped to check on him and gave him some water from his bidon. You just wont ever see anything like that in any other sport I think.

    Yeah. He does seem like a good guy. He has a great blog, very funny. Living in Girona this season. Writes about living in Spain, eating and training. His head is on straight.

  23. @Minnesota Expat

    @paolo

    @chuckp

    My new dark horse pick … Phil Gaimon. 6’1″ and 148 pounds. The perfect build for L’enfer du Nord.

    http://velonews.competitor.com/2016/04/news/surprise-phil-gaimons-racing-paris-roubaix_401781

    Just read this and I am moved to note that he’s also an exceptionally nice young man to boot. Last September on a very hot Saturday afternoon my friend Julian and I were climbing Latigo. An Iconic climb in the Santa Monicas. Both of us have 50 well in the rear view mirror now. I was well ahead and Phil passed me. I forget which domestic team he rode for last year but the bikes were Diamondbacks. As he sailed passed me I recognized him and said hi. Later Julian told me that half way up the climb he was out of water and stopped for some shade under a tree. Phil stopped to check on him and gave him some water from his bidon. You just wont ever see anything like that in any other sport I think.

    Yeah. He does seem like a good guy. He has a great blog, very funny. Living in Girona this season. Writes about living in Spain, eating and training. His head is on straight.

    Check out his Twitter feed. Lot’s back and forth between Gaimon, Alex Howes, Toms Skujins, Joe Dombrowski and Vaughters. Funny stuff.

  24. If the sun’s out then so’s Boom.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Stybar
    2. Vanmarcke
    3. Cancellara
    4. Stannard
    5. Sagan
  25. Spartacus to bludgeon his way through for the win.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Cancellera
    2. Sagan
    3. Vanmarcke
    4. Stybar
    5. Kristoff
  26. Pick change. I anticipate Tornado Tom to lay down the V. May be he will. Or maybe I like the idea that he will.

    Isnt that the same thing?

    Maybe I am just getting sentimental in my old age. I still cant  bring myself to put him on the top step, though. He fractured his head bone a few months ago, for Merckx sake! If Etixx keeps him on and he stays focused and injury free maybe next year as a final farewell. I think Pinchy and Sparty have this wrapped up between them this year.

     

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Faboo
    2. Pinchy Sagan
    3. Tommeke
    4. Sep VanMarcke
    5. Tony Martin
  27. @wiscot

    re your comments on Stannard. I hope so !    Ive got the big fella on the top step holding the square rock

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Stannard
    2. Cancellara
    3. Boonen
    4. Stybar
    5. Vanmarcke
  28. @paolo

    @chuckp

    My new dark horse pick … Phil Gaimon. 6’1″ and 148 pounds. The perfect build for L’enfer du Nord.

    http://velonews.competitor.com/2016/04/news/surprise-phil-gaimons-racing-paris-roubaix_401781

    Just read this and I am moved to note that he’s also an exceptionally nice young man to boot. Last September on a very hot Saturday afternoon my friend Julian and I were climbing Latigo. An Iconic climb in the Santa Monicas. Both of us have 50 well in the rear view mirror now. I was well ahead and Phil passed me. I forget which domestic team he rode for last year but the bikes were Diamondbacks. As he sailed passed me I recognized him and said hi. Later Julian told me that half way up the climb he was out of water and stopped for some shade under a tree. Phil stopped to check on him and gave him some water from his bidon. You just wont ever see anything like that in any other sport I think.

    And all on $10- a day as well.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Stannard
    2. Cancellara
    3. Boonen
    4. Stybar
    5. Vanmarcke
  29. Somewhat worried that my prior picks will not be recognised and hence I might be missing out on some fabulous rims, as I do not know how the long-armed Dutch Monkey’s cognitive computing abilities are. Hence re-posting them under their true names.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. Sagan
    2. Cancellara
    3. Van Marcke
    4. Stybar
    5. Kristoff
  30. @KogaLover

    With my track record I’m starting to think a better strategy would be to choose really obscure names and then dispute post event to get the top 5 in the correct order.

  31. VSP PICKS:

    1. Tom Boonen
    2. Fabian Cancellara
    3. Sep Vanmarcke
    4. Peter Sagan
    5. Niki Terpstra

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