Velominati Super Prestige: Tour de France 2012
We are proud to announce a change to the Velominati Super Prestige moving forward: sponsorship. We are delighted (if a little surprised) at the interest our partners showed in this endeavor, despite the short notice we gave them. Four sponsors will be gracing the sides of our team bus for this year’s race: fi’zi:k is our Super Domestique Sponsor (think Big George without the shoe covers because who’d want to cover those beauties up), while the leadout train is being rounded out by DeFeet, Pavé Cycling Classics, and Malteni Beer. As we all know, fizik gets a lot of love around here as the Contact Point Supplier, and for good reason. So we thought now is as good a time as any to announce that DeFeet has agreed to come on board as Flandrian Best Supplier, the Pavé boys, our trusted guides over the stones and bergs, and Malteni Biere which fills our bidon and keeps us making bad decisions like teaming up with the Pavé boys.
So what does Super Domestique Sponsor mean? Free shoes to the winners – that’s what it means, dillwhips. Free R3’s, yup the Aristocrats, to the three winners of the VSP: TdF GC Winner and the two Stage VSP’s. As you watch this year’s race, look for the likes of Jeremy Roy and Richie Porte riding the R3’s in complete Rule Compliance. As Leadout Sponsor, Defeet is providing a full Flandrian Best Kit including a base layer, Armskins, Kneekers, and Slipstream Belgian booties for the VSP: Tdf GC second place as well plus two pairs of D-Logo socks to each runner-up of the Stage VSP’s. The Pavé boys (also Leadout Sponsors) are putting up a limited Pavé Cycling Classics wool jersey awarded to third place. We can’t ship Malteni (also Leadout Sponsors) legally, so you’ll just have to wait until you’re in Belgium to guzzle some of that lovely nectar or join the Pavé boys for their Worlds Weekend tour with Johan Museeuw where they’ll get you stupid(er) on the stuff.
Gianni’s Ruminations
Finally, the date has arrived. We have all done our training through the winter, contested the Spring Classics, The Ardennes Races, Romandie, Oh the Giro, The Dauphine, Tour de Swiss. Not all were in the VSP schedule but I know most of you wrote down your picks for the others and tucked them under your pillows. It’s training. There has been time to taper down before Saturday’s prologue start in Liége, Belgium. A young neo-pro, The Fish, is leading in points. The hardened veterans have seen these youth come and go, the season is long. A touch of wheels, a moment of youthful idealism, Vladimir Karpets is picked to podium, The Fish goes down, he panics and by the time he is back up he will never see the front again. Or he will continue to mock us all with his astute choices and lead all the way to Lombardy.
I have staked my claim on the yellow kit ownership some time ago and still see this as an epic Cadel-Wiggo battle to the death and if not death, until one of them sits up. But this year might be the time the youth start to fill up the other three places in the top five.
The Shack’s team car has been crashing into every static object all spring and now Bruyneel has been yanked out of the driver’s seat. The ride can only get smoother but with the reluctant leader Frank Schleck staring at over 100km of prologue and time trialing, as was said in the bunker, they are going stage hunting. I could go on for hours about the 2012 TdF but we have other Keepers who need to vent.
Please check the VSP page for the rules, keep an eye on the awesome VSP countdown timer, don’t Delgado your picks. Here is the start list.
I have to give a shout out to a brave group of Velominati who are heading to the Vermont/Canadian border to draft behind a massive dump truck full of Awesome all the way to the Massachusetts state line. It’s a Cogal only deranged people would attempt and as luck would have it, we supply them here. I hope they get their picks in soon as they may be in no kind of shape on Friday to think about such important things.
Brett’s Misconceptions
It’s all about Fränk. It’s perfect. All the pressure’s off. No lil bro to hold him back. Deliberately sucking all year so far, crashing and quitting, a hint of form, Bruyneel slinks off to deflect attention (and suspicion), Fränk suddenly can time trial and a couple of Pharmy style attacks later he wins in Paris by two minutes, taking the sprint on the Champs Elysees for good measure. Maybe not the last bit. Fränk will, however, finish in lil bro’s favourite position. Or suddenly leave with a stomach bug.
Cadel will take this. It’s perfect. All the pressure’s off. No lil bro to worry about in the mountains. Deliberately almost sucking so far, but not. Hints of form, staying low, deflecting attention. Look after the time trials and command the mountains. Safe, not exciting. Or he’ll step on someone else’s dog, breaking his elbow and decapitating the dog.
Wiggo could take this. It’s perfect. A lot of form. A lot of km’s against the clock. Not too many big hills. Too tall socks. Cav left to fight alone. One bad day is waiting there though, the sort of bad day that not even winning the final TT by 2 minutes can alleviate. Or he’ll crash in the first week, breaking both elbows after getting a sideburn caught in his crazy bio pace chainrings.
Sagan will win the first twelve stages, then leave with a stomach bug. Gossy will gratefully step into the vacant green in the greatest heist since Gerro won San Remo. And the Rug Salesman will be all spotty, due to getting in a long break and not sucking as much as even he expected. That’ll help him to 5th and Zubeldia level evanescence.
None of this may actually come close to happening, but whatever does I hope it’s an exciting race. Good luck to those battling hard for three weeks in the VSP race too, it could just turn out to be the main point of interest a couple of weeks from now.
Marko’s Reckoning
The Fish loses two spots on the G.C. but manages to eek out a pair of R3s in a sub-VSP as G’phant peaks in le Grande Boucle and walks away with le Grande Bouprize. Sad thing is, G’phant is legend but nobody remembers him because he only shows for races, not group rides anymore. Fausto rides a calculated, if not boring, race to move up a spot but just misses out. Gianni gets a glimpse of the podium going into the 16th stage and the Tourmalet but drowns in a lactic acid and caffeine soaked bath in that stage’s VSP. Marko Delgados virtually the entire event while he continues building his family a house in direct violation of Rule #11, which is more than we can say for Brett and Frank who were last seen going in the opposite direction with Bruyneel in a Radiotreksanshack team car dragging a muffler through Liege on its way to a USADA hearing near Austin.
In the meantime, two dudes from the Commonwealth – one with sideburns approaching muttonchops and another with an ass on his chin – duel it out in France. There will be some Italian, Spanish, and Russian dudes there too in an epic the likes of which hasn’t been seen in years. Fuck Yeah people, Vive le Tour.
Frank’s Delusions
It happens every single time. I get all weepy-eyed about the Giro and how it’s the Velominatus’ choice for a Grand Tour. Less crazy, better terrain, a comparatively weaker field usually yielding a closer race. But come the Tour, I get all starstruck as the big names line up in the best form they could muster for the season.
I also had decided to pick Twiggo for the big win, but now I’m not so sure. I love that the guy is tall and can get over a mountain, but there is one irrefutable fact that I can’t get over. He looks much too much like Gianni’s avatar, only not as well-kept. The sardonic look on his face along with those whispy sideburns are just too much for me to take. I’m back to rolling with my heart and my questionable sensibilities to favor Grimpelder this time round, now that he’s out of the shadow of his little brother and will be able to put the swivelnecking energy into the pedals instead of looking behind him.
The good news is that the racing always winds up being awesome. And that’s what its about: panache. So long as Wiggo doesn’t pull an Indurain and take 6 minutes on an early TT, I’ll be happy.
Epilogue
Pick carefully, don’t Delgado, and think twice about those rest day swaps; they come at a heavy price and there are some nice prizes on the line which make the Velominati Shop Apron look like a Schleck’s chamois during the descent of the Peyresourde.
The Fine Print: each contestant is of course encouraged to enter all VSP events, but everyone is eligible to take the prizes on only one VSP. If a contestant takes more than one VSP event (GC or Stage) the prize for that VSP will then be awarded to the player with the next highest score. In the event of a tie we’ll do our best to find the fairest way to break the tie. If something doesn’t make sense, please ask; we’re making this up as we go along.
Get your picks in by the time the countdown clock goes to zero, and good luck. Vive le Tour.
Pass the shoes please….
VSP PICKS:
1. Bradley Wiggins
2. Cadel Evans
3. Samuel Sanchez
4. Levi Leipheimer
5. Denis Menchov
Alright, getting off the pot early this time around, partly to just make my bed and lay in it, but partly because I need to make sure I didn’t break the pick entry system. You know, that old chestnut.
VSP PICKS:
1. Grimpelder
2. Moderately Good Cadelaphant
3. Weeping Twiggo
4. Rolland Rolland Rolland Raw Hide
5. Sammy Sandwich
Here’s the video of Indurain spanking it at the 1991 TdF in the first ITT.
VSP PICKS:
1. Evans
2. Wiggins
3. Nibali
4. Sanchez
5. Hesjedal
Im going for the win this time. Not gonna waste my time with a Schleck. He has already said he is past his peak of dropping out of races.
VSP PICKS:
1. Wiggins
2. Evans
3. Sanchez
4. P Rolland
5. Gesnic
I forgot all about Nibbles. I’m going for Sicilian pride.
VSP PICKS:
1. Nibali
2. Wiggins
3. Sanchez
4. Evans
5. Gesnic
@frank Are you sure that wasn’t from 1961? The quality is elementary school projector grade…
@Skinnyphat
Wow, it really is crap, isn’t it?
Chapeau to all for loading up the Velominati team bus for the Tour!
VSP PICKS:
1. Cadel Evans
2. Bradley Wiggins
3. Denis Menchov
4. Vincenzo Nibali
5. Jurgen Van Den Broeck
I’m going for the big Wig. He’s a patriotic sort of guy and this is big Betty’s 60th year of squatting on the throne. Wiggo will do queen and country proud and bring it home for Betty. All the TT kms and no truly awful days in the hill country, will see him become a legend in his own time.
Cadel, in an act of Commonwealth solidarity, will run him close, but finish second. That way, Betty can then muse over what title to bestow upon the mod-man and bum-chin (as a Commonwealth kid he’s eligible for baubles from the Royal lucky bag). Will Wiggo get a knighthood, a Lordship or an order of the garter to hold up the long socks? I’m going for the “Arise, Sir Wiggo” as he’s not a fawning, snobby establishment lickspittle like Seb Coe and therefore won’t get the Lords job. In other words, I want to see him tun up at the Palace wearing a top hat with all that scraggly ass hair sticking out from underneath.
Belgium will arise again through the lanky Jurgen, Golden-boy Sammy will be there and there abouts for the Iberians and Nibbles will raise his salary for his next team by flying the flag for the Italians.
Levi, Horner, Gesink, Franky-Lux and wee Tommy V will nestle into the top 10 in no particular order.
VSP PICKS:
1. Wiggins
2. Evans
3. Van den Broek
4. Sanchez
5. Nibali
PS Thanks to all the sponsors for stepping up. Helps raise the stakes no end! Do they realize we’d go nuts for this and neglect other priorities for a puncture repair kit and a discarded pro’s bottle?
Pretty conservative picks! I got them in early but already feel like I’m following the flock! Gotta find me an outsider.
VSP PICKS:
1. Evans
2. Wiggo
3. Nibali
4. Sanchez
5. Rolland
This is the year for Sir Twiggo…. Crunch time is approaching and he’s finally got it together to hold the pressure.
VSP PICKS:
1. Sir Twiggo
2. Cuddles
3. Sammy
4. Grimpelder
5. Nibali
With regard to the lead picture, there sure were some sweet jerseys around in 87: La Vie Claire, Z and PDM. Nice!
Come on baby, poppa needs a new pair of shoes !
… and a Malteni jersey and maybe throw in some socks while your at it.
VSP PICKS:
1. Wiggins
2. Evans
3. Nibali
4. Sanchez
5. Leipheimer
VSP PICKS:
1. Wiggins
2. Evans
3. Valverde
4. Schleck
5. Froome
VSP PICKS:
1. Cuddles
2. Wiggles
3. Nibbles
4. Schleckles
5. Eggtimer -les
This is the year for cycling in GB. The ModFather’s gonna bring home Le Jaune, The Missile’s gonna bring home Le Vert and then it’s gold gold gold for Team GB at the Ollylymics.
Hey, I can dream…
VSP PICKS:
1. Twiggo
2. EvansCycles
3. Nibali Lube
4. Grimpelder
5. Dirty Sanchez
I predict an all-English speaking podium this year.
After stage 9, someone will send Grimpelder a link to The Rule #5 Talk, and after reading it, he will be inspired, but only for a few days, and will finish just off the podium.
VSP PICKS:
1. Wiggo
2. Cuddles
3. Ryder
4. Schleck
5. Gesink
Hard to go past Cadel, Wiggins looks the business but as an Englishman, I’m used too used to over promises. Who knows about the others? Cab or Gossie for green. No idea on the dots, but I’ll slip in Cam Meyer for white….
VSP PICKS:
1. Cadel
2. Schleck Elder
3. Voeckler
4. Wiggins
5. Hesjedal
VSP PICKS:
1. Wiggins
2. Nibali
3. Cadel
4. Sammy Sanchez
5. Grimpelder
VSP PICKS:
1. Nibali
2. Evans
3. Wiggins
4. Hesjedal
5. Gerrans
Cav for Green (and Gold)
VSP PICKS:
1. Twiggo
2. Nibali
3. Evans
4. Menchov
5. Gesink
Bugger just realized Meyer is on the bench. Ah well next year….
Winning
VSP PICKS:
1. Wiggins
2. Ryder
3. Gesink
4. Sanchez
5. Menchov
Fuck. With SWAG like this on the line, now I have to actually think about my picks (like that will help).
Holy Shite, that’s a significant pile of schwag there for the taking. I’m actually going to have to think about my picks, aside from Twiggo and Good Cadel (who I still think looks a lot like John Travolta), of course. Frankenschleck? Eggtimer? Dirty Sanchez? Nibbles? Pride of a Nation? Maybe even “Little Jack” Horner could get his thumb in the plum?
@scaler911
Haha, @scaler. Great(ly disturbed) minds think alike, it seems.
Twiggo to take the win, unless Yates pulls a Burnsy. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lzpk5dMhVE4
VSP PICKS:
1. Clancy Wiggum
2. Rubber face Evans
3. Vincenzo
4. Froome
5. Rolland Rat
Sky have it over BMC and you can light a match between cadel an bradley – and I agree, 2012 is year of the UK. Wiggins by a country mile.
VSP PICKS:
1. Wiggins
2. Evans
3. Nibali
4. Sanchez
5. Schleck
Chappy says:
VSP PICKS:
1. Ryder HESJEDAL
2. Jurgen VAN DEN BROECK
3. Cadel EVANS
4. Vincenzo NIBALI
5. Bradley WIGGINS
VSP PICKS:
1. B. Wiggins
2. C.Evans
3. F.Schleck
4. D.Menchov
5. R.Gesink
I want Cadel to win but with the Aristocrats on the line I gotta go with Wiggins.
VSP PICKS:
1. Wiggo
2. Cadelo
3. Schlecko
4. Nibalo
5. Van de Broecko
VSP PICKS:
1. Wiggo
2. Evans
3. Froome
4. Schleck
5. Nibali
Wiggins takes it, Britannia rules the roads
VSP PICKS:
1. Mod Father Wiggo
2. Cadel
3. Nibali
4. Rolland
5. Schlexcuses
Y’all have forgotten about Nibbles. Angry little man that he is, Wiggins is English so doesn’t know how to come first. Cuddles will do well but Nibbles FTW.
VSP PICKS:
1. Nibbles
2. Born second Wiggins
3. Frere Scheck
4. Old Man Cuddles
5. Veino
Well, the obvious questions come to mind; Can Sky handle protecting the Yellow and the Bands? Which is more important? Can BMC get their collective shit together after a dismal spring romp? If they do, their only focus will be Cuddles, and having Big George (in like his 100th TDF), Thor and Giblets in your corner is no small thing.
Wiggo/Cuddles. Cuddles/ Wiggo. Or take the long shot on an ‘outsider’? I’ll either be laughing or crying in a few weeks, but here goes……..
VSP PICKS:
1. Cuddles
2. The Mod Father
3. Nibbles
4. J V d/b
5. Swivel the Elder
I’m going to buck the trend a little bit, pick some dark horses.
VSP PICKS:
1. Hesjedal
2. Wiggins
3. Sanchez
4. Basso
5. Rolland
I didn’t even know about all that swag. That’s some really nice stuff. Best of luck to everyone.
With the potential for Aristocrats on the line, it seems everyone is planning a Wiggo-Cadel podium. Which means that the winner will be either the one two got places 3-5 right, or that one lucky sod who foresaw Frank Schleck’s victory. That being said, I’m firmly in the Wiggins camp, and I, for one, find his haircut rather fantastic.
I’m also hoping there’s still some juice remaining in Valverde’s blood, even though I haven’t heard of him since his dominant season opening. On the other hand, picking a Frenchman is not the wisest tactic now, isn’t it?
VSP PICKS:
1. Bradley Wiggins
2. Cadel Evans
3. Samuel Sanchez
4. Alejandro Valverde
5. Pierre Rolland
Had to buck it a bit with a nod to Levi…long shot, but pretty sure no one else will
VSP PICKS:
1. Wiggans
2. Rolland
3. Evans
4. Gesink
5. Leviathan
VSP PICKS:
1. Nibali
2. Wiggins
3. Van Den Broeck
4. Evans
5. Sanchez
VSP PICKS:
1. Wiggins
2. Evans
3. Hesjedal
4. F. Schleck
5. Nibali
VSP PICKS:
1. Sanchez
2. Wiggens
3. Evans
4. Van Den Broeck
5. Horner
This VSP will surely be decided in picks 3-5. I’m in Seoul right now and made it a priority to get my picks in,hopefully I can catch some of the tour while I’m here.
VSP PICKS:
1. Wiggo
2. Evans
3. Levi
4. Gesink
5. Nibali
@scaler911
Noises coming out of Sky (from both Yates and Cav) seem to me that yellow is the number one priority, which gives Cav an out with regards to finishing the tour and preparing for the Olympics. I can’t see Cav flogging through to Paris without the green jersey, like he did at the Giro, and I’d almost put money on the fact that he’ll abandon after the second week if the jersey’s not on his back. I’m also expecting some super domestique work on no sprint stages, since I’m pretty convinced the Olympics are more in Cav’s sights than green. The best thing his competition can do for Cav is finish the tour, then try to back up six days later.
@scaler911
Thor’s not riding the tour is he? I think BMC will be looking at a couple of big names on their roster and asking if they’ve had value for money out of their riders this year.
Picking Evans over Wiggo only on team experience and depth. Wiggo would have the 1-1 edge, but don;t think the Cavendouche distraction is a good thing.
VSP PICKS:
1. Evans
2. Wiggo
3. Voekler
4. Sagan
5. Basso
VSP PICKS:
1. Bradley Wiggins
2. Cadel Evans
3. Levi Leipheimer
4. Vincenzo Nibali
5. Ryder Hesjedal
VSP PICKS:
1. Evans
2. Wiggins
3. Sanchez
4. Hesjedal
5. Leipheimer