We’ve all felt it; going over a bump or through a corner and feeling that unmistakable bit of slop in the handling that sends your heart straight to your feet. Hoping you’re wrong, you bounce the tire as you roll along, confirming you’ve got a puncture.

But it’s not really flat – not yet, at least. Just softening. The question is, do you stop or do you try to keep going and hope its a slow enough leak to finish the ride? Barring that, can you at least get to a comfortable spot to change the tire, such as the little café near the turnaround point. Everyone who has ever changed a tire knows that changing a tire with a coffee at hand is a civilized way to go about such things.

Or, hypothetically, you realize that you’ve forgotten to bring the little tool that removes your valve extender and valve core, making it impossible to change your tire. Which means you are now committed to a race against your slow leak to get home.

Forget the contre la montre; the real race of truth is the race against the escape of air in your tire as you speed home at full gas in an attempt to avoid a long wobbly walk of shame in cycling shoes.

Spoiler alert: I made it home. Hypothetically.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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  • @wiscot

    “slow enough leak to finish the ride,” “little café near the turnaround point.” What are these luxuries you speak of? Must be some kind of Seattle thing . . .

    Hopefully this article will not jinx me on tonight’s ride. I rarely flat but it’s never of the “maybe I can make it home” type and there are no cafes to be found. They’re quick and if I’m lucky a gas station may be in the vicinity. . . . I also usually flat in the winter when there’s more crap on the roads. Nothing like changing a tube in 30 degree weather.

    I've had some very interesting experiences using CO2 at or near freezing in the rain...chuck frozen to core, unscrew...core stuck inside chuck...tire remarkably flat after very fast release of air through chuckless tire.

    I use pumps now, unless I'm racing.

  • @Owen

    Had to drop a buddy of mine on an out and back a couple summers ago, climbing out of some Indian ruins, to make it back to the car in time to outrun a flattening front tire. Felt bad but would have felt worse having to duck walk in.

    Don’t remember if I bought beers out of remorse or not.

    Which indian ruins? Sounds amazing!

    @Ccos

    Few things will have me say adult words in my outside voice like a good tub going soft. Too bad there’s not a pill for that.

    Especially a gorgeous FMB. Its this college neightborhood that happens to have one of my favorite climbs, but the kids can't seem to keep from throwing heaps of glass out on the road.

  • @Puffy

    I too ride tubs… what to do when they wear down? Run it until the canvas shows, handling starts to get dangerous and a high risk of puncture or tear it off and throw a new one on?

    I’m at that point now and by not making the decision (budgetatus vs conserative logic) I am making the decsion to run the gauntlet…

    I wish I knew the answer.

    In my younger more foolish days I ran clinchers and have ridden home a couple of times with a flat no problem….well, no major problem. Just make sure you take the tube out, don’t go any faster than your grandmother can walk and forget about cornering!

    I find myself changing them before I start getting flats. Usually about once a year...but it is not cheap.

    @Stephen

    @frank

    Every time I have an incident, I am pushed closer to tubs. In fact, N+1 will be achieved this fall and it will likely be an 11 spd cassette, meaning not compatible with my current rig, and I may upgrade to the proper, pure set of wheels.

    I feel like a drug dealer, pushing people to tubs. I'll never go back; absolutely love them. Even if the ride quality were the same, the joy and connection of gluing on a tub and cornering hard and feeling it grip the road is worth it to me.

  • @frank

    I rode home with the co2 chuck still attached to the (broken) valve stem once. Probably about 25kms. It was in Waucousta and there was a fair bit of snow on the ground . . . Fat fingers once frozen really didn't want to work.

    We had some wicked storms roll through here on Sunday night - hail, 80mph gusts, torrential rain, the whole shebang. Result? Tons of twig, branch and leaf debris to contend with last night. Luckily, no punctures resulted!

  • @frank

    I had the orangeseal in tub before flat. I am sure you can resurrect the FMB with the orange. It would kill me to put that FMB in the trash.

  • Jesus H, there needs to be a rule about even mentioning the P or F word. That is like Hamlet to a thespian ( not being a thesp precludes me from the jinx)  If you say the word you'll get one, sure as G wears white jawbones!

  • @mauibike

    Does the orange seal last indefinitely in a tubular? I've only ever used Pitstop after the event and I've found that while it's saved the day and got me home (including 135 km of the London Cogal), once it's in the end is nigh for the tubular in that it'll eventually harden at best leaving a solid lump at the bottom of the tube or glues the insides of the tire together if it's left long enough to deflate. Because of that I'll carry it as an emergency measure if I'm going to be along way from home with little chance of being picked up if I've already used my spare tubular.

    Otherwise, I'll use the spare to get home and then send the flatted one off to get repaired. I should really learn to repair them myself.

  • I once rode over a screw that some plonker left in the middle of the road. Luckily the screw did not damage to my rim as it shredded my tire, tube and the tip of the screw punctured the rim tape and went in the spoke channel in my rim. Stupidly I repaired the tire on the spot. Two days later I had another flat. Repaired it. Another week later, another flat. This went on for about 2 months with flats every week. Until I finally figured out the when the screw punctured my rim tape, it exposed an inflated tube to the sharp edge of the spoke channel...with enough time and enough pressure and friction I eventually would flat. Many stops, repairs and much cursing was involved. Needless to say, I'm pretty meticulous about checking and rechecking every flat repair I do each time now. Didn't flat for over a year after rotating my rim tape.

  • @frank

    I feel like a drug dealer, pushing people to tubs. I’ll never go back; absolutely love them. Even if the ride quality were the same, the joy and connection of gluing on a tub and cornering hard and feeling it grip the road is worth it to me.

    When I started racing, it had to be on tubs... racing on clinchers seemed like an abomination even back then. The rot has slowly moved on from there into the 'occasional ride' bikes. I used to gleefully sneek a training ride in on the race wheels and now I am on the precipice of replacing my last set of clinchers (training wheels) with Tubs. If money were no object I would have already I think.

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