There Ought to be a Rule…

We all know where I stand in the cycling sock department, white and not too tall, any color sock as long as it’s white. If you have diminished calves and need to somehow hide that by wearing too tall socks, that is sad but not a crime. I always thought I was less flexible on color than height.  Today I’ve changed my mind.

I was in the car when I saw a cyclist in a long sleeve, all white Rock Racing kit. Rock Racing, interesting choice, not a team I would want make believe I rode for but it was tidy. This was matched with a white helmet and white shoes and for an elitist snob like myself it was all fine. It would have been all fine barring the white knee length compression stockings! I don’t even know what compression stockings are or what they supposedly do but for his sake they had better not be just white knee length cycling socks. He had better have a severe medical condition to justify that look.

Doctor: You have a condition known as “Catholic School Girl”. If you don’t wear white knee socks your legs will fall off or you will become wildly promiscuous, but in your case most likely the first.

How can one misstep so quickly change everything? I’ve seen other cyclist in high compression socks but matching them to an all white kit is somehow saying, yes, I still have it going on here, I look Pro. FFS, I now regret not turning the car around so I could have pulled along side and asked what he thought he was doing. Or at least taken a photo for this article. Or issued a V-ticket for visual effrontery. Or nudged him off the road into a ditch.

There ought to be a Rule! Rule #28 needs an addendum with this compression thing out there. Eddy had no idea this was coming. If the Velominati are to keep ahead of these trends we better get on this now, before it is too late.

Gianni

Gianni has left the building.

View Comments

  • Even on runners those things look ridiculous. Sartorial affronts such as these should be the sole domain of the "cycling shit sandwich".

    In the dark confines of one's own home they possibly have their place as a recovery tool but should otherwise never see the light of day... much like having to mess up your internal clock twice a year.

  • I am a "originalist" in reference to the rules. They need no addenduming as there is an overarching expectation to avoid being a douchebag.
    Were we to outline all transgressions, then the rules could explode into a gigantic tome resembling the DSM-5 (a huge f'ing thing, originally intended to be a pocket pamphlet).

  • Anyone who needs a rule to tell them to not visibly wear compression socks in public is beyond our help.

  • Compression socks are for long haul flights. Period. Maybe post-ride, but then don't wear them with shorts. And you'd better have just completed double digit hill repeats on the Stelvio.

  • Medically designed, professionally fitted compression socks do aid in recovery as shown but the Aus Inst of Sport a while back. I have no idea why one would wear them whilst riding however... If you need socks to improve circulation when riding you aren't riding hard enough! I do wear the knee length variety AFTER a particularly hard ride and ONLY under my work slacks due to the fact I sit on my arse at a desk all day. No one can see them and no one knows they are there.

  • @Mike

    What is the policy on calf-length aero TT overshoes?

    You have to ask?

    Cover your shoe buckles for a marginal gain but surely a smooth calf is sufficiently aero.

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