I know it’s a bit misleading to call this article a “Book Review”, but “Book Review” soundsbetter than “Jump To Conclusions After Reading One Chapter and Publish Those Conclusions”.
Like most cyclists, I suffer from the belief that I’m overweight (I am). In a world of rising obesity, I am thrown strange glances and receive accusations of “being anorexic” from my colleagues when I comment that I won’t have a cookie or slice of Birthday cake because I’m trying to lose some weight. The fact is, despite being generally thinner and fitter than the average citizen, cyclists suffer from the same self-image problems that everyone else does. Not only that, we struggle to lose weight just as much as our non-athletic friends.
Athletes generally lose weight through piling on more miles – a theory based on Physics and the wonderfully useful principle known as The Conservation of Mass; what goes in goes out and if you burn more calories than you consume, you will lose weight. (The Conservation of Mass is actually our best friend; it’s behind almost everything that makes bicycling possible and also being out of shape incredibly frustrating). Owing to this simple theory, it’s generally unsurprising that there are very few diet programs for amateur athletes and as such I was thrilled to pick up a copy of “Racing Weight“, by Matt Fitzgerald, a book seeming written for just this audience. I prepared to read it and readied myself to lose those last few (dozen) pounds.
I found the book very disappointing. What I’m gleaning is that in order to loose weight I should “eat right, “eat less”, “train more”, and – worst of all – “stop drinking like a fish”. Not only that, but the book insists that I should diligently collect data on my training, diet, and weight and track it over several training cycles in order to even understand what my ideal weight might be in the first place. Basically, by the time Winter sets in again and I’m ready to eat turkey and drink Scotch from the bottle, I’ll have some idea as to how fat I really am.
I’ll be honest: that’s not really the program I’m looking for. I was looking more for the program where I get to eat Cadbury Eggs, chips and salsa, and watch clever videos on the internet while dropping weight like a heroin addict with giardia and at the same time not losing muscle mass (it would even be nice if this diet even helped me gain some). Isn’t there something I can inject or a pill to make myself a better cyclist? Come on, Matt, I’m getting tired of unhelpful authors.
And with that, I’m left with no option but to stick to my usual plan of eating hamburgers, drinking beer, and spending loads of money on lighter cycling equipment in lieu of losing weight.
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@frank No one has pointed out that the photo of you (above on the left), while technically following Rule 17, you are in blatant violation of Rule 22.
As a newbie I am not sure how to proceed... but I sure appreciate the fine article and your bravery. Also looking forward to stage 2 images!
P.S. Some how I was under the impression that you were a bit taller?
@Rob
+1
Brillant post Frank. That's why I was sadden to see Big Magnus Backstedt retire, a cyclist who weighed as much as I did. Usually if your a 6'4" cyclists you have to weigh 160lbs. I'd have to lose a gun to get anywhere near that weight and I'd be weak as a damn kitten and missing a leg.
@Joe
Joe, you are a business genius. And I'm loving the term "unusual". Very useful, like that feeling is not the usual result of a cold meat pies and five pints down the neck-hole lunch.
I'm 165cm/60kg, and feel like I'm overweight, but I also live in West Virginia... Fat people are like the frickin' norm around here. I get the stares all of the time, solely because I wear fitted clothes that do not come from walmart and hang on me like a bodybag. It really makes me feel in check about my weight sometimes.
@Joe
I'm so in. I need to be part of this business. I understand this business. Lying to your wife/girlfriend whilst pissed...a whole sub-business for men.
You might need to start writing some posts for this site. You funny boy.
@wvcycling
Has West Virginia gone metric on me? Oh, wait, you are adhering to Rule 24, well done. I better get reconverted. Fat is the national norm these days, you are not alone. And I bet the locals are impressed as you ride the roads all lycra'd up too. It's our sickness, this cycling, all we can do is look good and haul ass, or at least attempt to.
@wvcycling
@john
That and I know peeps that don't teach their kids to ride bikes until there 8,9, & even 10 in some cases. It's nuts. When I got my first bike at 5 my mom couldn't get me in the house and claims I didn't eat for days when I learned to ride. I'd lose a thumb wrestling match though to anyone in the world under 25.
I do not think we are talking about being fat. Fat is drive up windows, elevators, and sugar in all food, bad sex, never getting out of breath but being out of breath all the time.
We are talking about 2-5 kilos of love handles, beer bellies, and pinched skin that has a bit too much padding.
OK that's my shit and its about beating the 30 somethings on $9,000 (holy mother of G-d!!!) rides with my old 753 so that in July when I'm peaking I can nail their skinny little butts at the summits of awesome climbs!
@Rob
So we're talking about Phase 2?
@Rob
The problem with Phase II is that I don't know what it is! It's like the Underwear Gnomes in SouthPark: Phase I: Steal underwear. Phase II: ??. Phase III: Profit!