It came to me in a moment of absolute clarity, the kind of clarity which only arrives to one in an oxygen-depleted state and at high speed – usually down a steep descent. It would be awfully nice to justify wearing my Molteni jersey, rather than having it hanging in my workshop all the time.
It had been suggested a few times already by the time the notion came to me last winter, that Velominati should organize an international Cogal on which all of us around the world would climb aboard our bicycles in honor of each other, and devote the day to riding. It is, after all, what we do; we ride our bikes. The rest is detail.
While the idea is simple enough, the selection of a date has proven positively futile. Summer on the Upper Half of the planet (you know the one – the one that matters) means VVinter for the Lower Half. When the Lower Half (you know the one, the one with all the convicts and Aztecs) is in summer, the important side is snowed in or sopping wet. You simply can’t choose a day that works for everyone.
The solution, of course, is simple: I unilaterally pick a date for the entire community and shove it down everyone’s throat by the virtue of being louder than almost anyone else (with the exception of the bloke sitting just behind me and to my left at the café; that is one loud-mouthed bastard, that.)
Being the type of person I am, with all the personality defects I have at my disposal, I was still perplexed by the selection of a date that holds significant meaning for all our community. January first, so we may ride off our hangovers. October 3rd, to celebrate Leiden’s liberty from the Spanish. Then the epiphany as I flew down Lighthouse Hill towards the shore of Puget Sound, where Pearl Jam and Sound Garden once rocked out in the weeds: the Velominati International Cogal will be held every year in honor of The Prophet’s birthday, June 17.
Every Velominatus is free to observe this day however they like. Take a holiday from work; declare an exemption due to your specific religious requirements. Ride on the day, in a way that helps you honor the way Eddy rode himself. Ride lots, was his sage training advice. I like to surprise my rivals, was his explanation attacking 70 or 80 or 90 or 100km from the finish. However you ride, on Festum Prophetae each year, we will honor The Prophet. We may also choose, as is customary with other holidays, to arrange within our immediate community to designate the nearest convenient day to observe the holiday. If taking the day to honor him is impractical on the 17th, designate a nearby day that works better for you.
Mark your calendars for June 17, Festum Prophetae*. Personally, I will climb aboard my steel Bike #2 fitted with tubular tires, don my wool Molteni Jersey and head out with only a bit of food in my jersey pocket and water in my bidon with the express intent to meet the Man with the Hammer. No mean feat, considering the Seattle Summer Cogal will have taken place only the day before. Two Cogals in one weekend: I can’t think of a better way to honor him.
Vive la Vie Velominatus.
*A special thanks to @ChrisO for helping determine the “correct” latin phrase.
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@Jeff in PetroMetro
Holy crap. You have that AND a look.
You're off my christmas card list. Till I have two bikes that cool. Which will be when you give them to me.
Does Gotye make all his music on a Casiotone? dink-de-dink-dink
@mrhallorann
Sounds like an awesome trip! Very envious ;¬)
@Jeff in PetroMetro
Just lovely! Steel really is Real!!!!!
@mrhallorann
...all bar the dude third from left with the side on pose.
For he is tremendously the only gay in the village.
@smithers
I suspect he advises all the others on the Rules - observe the strictly correct sock lengths, the length of the shorts (although the whitish ones at the back may be a little too short (or are they rucked up)- only the shades let him and his friend with the beard down - and of course his friends beard. Picture definition isn't good enough to say whether all guns are indeed smooth but I'll give them the benefit of the doubt.
Could anyone find a picture of nine cyclists giving fewer points away collectively on breaches of the Rules?
@the Engine
..... or a better example of your local rule compliant paedophile bike club......loook at tight-boy in the center with his hand draped ever so.....
Sorrrrrry
@smithers
Don't you think it's a bit off calling a fellow Velominati and his friends "gay" and "paedophiles?" Pretty fucking well out of order, I reckon.
@Oli
Good call. Dude's got his hand over his son's shoulder because the little dude looks like he's about to unleash some fury on some poor unsuspecting motherfuckers.
And the dude behind the taller of the two kids looks sort of like Rigid.
@smithers
I'm with @Oli there. Spot on, if you've got to put "Sorrrrrry" at the end of a statement it probably shouldn't be made.
If you really wanted to be a rule pedant, there's a couple of possible Rule 36 violations and one for Rule 17 but you'd be a bit of a nazi to pull a velonipper pedalwan up for that especially knowing how hard it can be to get decent gloves for kids that don't look like they were designed for toddlers.