Categories: Cogals

International Cogal: Festum Prophetae

Artwork: @mcsqueak // Original photograph: Stephan Vanfleteren

It came to me in a moment of absolute clarity, the kind of clarity which only arrives to one in an oxygen-depleted state and at high speed – usually down a steep descent. It would be awfully nice to justify wearing my Molteni jersey, rather than having it hanging in my workshop all the time.

It had been suggested a few times already by the time the notion came to me last winter, that Velominati should organize an international Cogal on which all of us around the world would climb aboard our bicycles in honor of each other, and devote the day to riding. It is, after all, what we do; we ride our bikes. The rest is detail.

While the idea is simple enough, the selection of a date has proven positively futile. Summer on the Upper Half of the planet (you know the one – the one that matters) means VVinter for the Lower Half. When the Lower Half (you know the one, the one with all the convicts and Aztecs) is in summer, the important side is snowed in or sopping wet. You simply can’t choose a day that works for everyone.

The solution, of course, is simple: I unilaterally pick a date for the entire community and shove it down everyone’s throat by the virtue of being louder than almost anyone else (with the exception of the bloke sitting just behind me and to my left at the café; that is one loud-mouthed bastard, that.)

Being the type of person I am, with all the personality defects I have at my disposal, I was still perplexed by the selection of a date that holds significant meaning for all our community. January first, so we may ride off our hangovers. October 3rd, to celebrate Leiden’s liberty from the Spanish. Then the epiphany as I flew down Lighthouse Hill towards the shore of Puget Sound, where Pearl Jam and Sound Garden once rocked out in the weeds: the Velominati International Cogal will be held every year in honor of The Prophet’s birthday, June 17.

Every Velominatus is free to observe this day however they like. Take a holiday from work; declare an exemption due to your specific religious requirements. Ride on the day, in a way that helps you honor the way Eddy rode himself. Ride lots, was his sage training advice. I like to surprise my rivals, was his explanation attacking 70 or 80 or 90 or 100km from the finish. However you ride, on Festum Prophetae each year, we will honor The Prophet. We may also choose, as is customary with other holidays, to arrange within our immediate community to designate the nearest convenient day to observe the holiday. If taking the day to honor him is impractical on the 17th, designate a nearby day that works better for you.

Mark your calendars for June 17, Festum Prophetae*. Personally, I will climb aboard my steel Bike #2 fitted with tubular tires, don my wool Molteni Jersey and head out with only a bit of food in my jersey pocket and water in my bidon with the express intent to meet the Man with the Hammer. No mean feat, considering the Seattle Summer Cogal will have taken place only the day before. Two Cogals in one weekend: I can’t think of a better way to honor him.

Vive la Vie Velominatus.

*A special thanks to @ChrisO for helping determine the “correct” latin phrase.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • @the Engine

    @smithers

    @mrhallorann

    @frank

    @morten okbo

    Fucking badass.

    +1!!! I fucking love how stern everyone, even the kids, look in this photo. No fucking about.."We ride, and we ride far. And we do not smile."

    Awesome.

    ...all bar the dude third from left with the side on pose.

    For he is tremendously the only gay in the village.

    I suspect he advises all the others on the Rules - observe the strictly correct sock lengths, the length of the shorts (although the whitish ones at the back may be a little too short (or are they rucked up)- only the shades let him and his friend with the beard down - and of course his friends beard. Picture definition isn't good enough to say whether all guns are indeed smooth but I'll give them the benefit of the doubt.

    Could anyone find a picture of nine cyclists giving fewer points away collectively on breaches of the Rules?

    I love the richness of character in this photo. Gay or not, 3rd left looks gloriously fabulous and fucking KNOWS it. More power to him. Rigid in dead centre looks like he eats ball bearings for breakfast and always has seconds. Far right is my favourite of all. Looks like he takes any motherfucker on in a town sign sprint and doesn't know the meaning of 'lose'.

    And @Smithers, you do damn right to apologise for the peado comments. It's clear as day these kids are their own children so you were bang out of order. Apology accepted however.

  • @the Engine

    What you can't see is the March drizzle blowing in off the Baltic - they're doing well not be a funny blue colour.

    March drizzle? Looks pretty sunny and dry in that picture, judging by the contrast with the shadows... But Blue with that Orange kit would be cool. Totally complementary colours.

  • @Buck Rogers
    I'd intended to put up some pics of the Mercian when I fixed it up, but never sat down and put buttons to interwebs until today.

  • @Jeff in PetroMetro

    @Buck Rogers
    I'd intended to put up some pics of the Mercian when I fixed it up, but never sat down and put buttons to interwebs until today.

    She's a true belle.

    We'll have to meet at least one more time before I leave TX this late August. I'll ride my '92 Team Motorola Merckx that is competely period correct and you can ride your gorgeous Mercian and we can slip back to the days of young legs and cycling memories that I am always chasing down the road just in front of me.

  • @Buck Rogers
    Yes, please. I'd love to.

    I don't know if this happens to you, but when I ride my old bike, I look down, and it's as if 25 years hadn't happened yet. My hands and arms are the same. My legs are the same. The bike is the same. The roads are the same. The different position on the bike instantly turns on long dark muscle memory and I fall into my old riding sensations as if they'd never lay dormant.

    I hope I can keep climbing into my little time machine for another 25 years.

  • @versio
    When I ride my Mercian, it's kind of like a cogal. I ride with memories that come so quickly and easily back to me. Memories of races, training rides, and conversations pop up and surprise me. It's like a cogal with my young self and all of his friends.

    Mostly I ride my Mercian by myself, but I'm never alone.

  • @Jeff in PetroMetro

    @versio
    When I ride my Mercian, it's kind of like a cogal. I ride with memories that come so quickly and easily back to me. Memories of races, training rides, and conversations pop up and surprise me. It's like a cogal with my young self and all of his friends.

    Mostly I ride my Mercian by myself, but I'm never alone.

    Really like Highlander, but on a bike instead? Sorry -- you bring it out of me.

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