Categories: AwardsEtiquette

2011 Broken Chain Award

Where is the coffee flavored Dumonde Tech chain lube?

Brought back to life by reader demand, the Broken Chain Award is considered for any person or thing that protrudes above the surface of cycling’s bad behavior and bad ideas.

Yours in Cycling, Gianni

The obvious first choice, the easy choice, was the French TV driver who put Juan Antonio Flecha down on the road and Johnny Hoogerland into the barbed wire on Stage 9 of the Tour de France. The driver, rumored to be an ex-pro, was trying to get ahead of the break, passing them where there wasn’t room. Hit a tree or hit some riders, he went right and now might be in the witness protection program in Latvia. But can this guy be the biggest idiot of the year in cycling? Passing a group of racers who are already using both lanes, driving fast to get around them, keeping eyes on the cyclists and a tree runs out into the road. This is inexcusable driving but there is an even bigger tool in the bin.

The vitriol I distill in my heart for the cheaters in cycling has somehow decreased this year. Less doping or better cheaters – I’m not sure. The lack of busted, denying dumb-asses has had a good effect on my health. The two-time loser brigade which should, by all reasonable calculations still be paying the price, seems to have found teams corrupt enough to pay them to ride. OK, Di Luca is riding but not getting paid. Tchmil should break him like a twig and toss him in a Russian potato field. Stefan Schumacher is back riding for Christina Watches, the Rock Racing of Europe.

Having a high VO2 max has no correlation with intelligence. Some riders even have the perfect amount of dumb. But Ricardo Ricco has much more than his fair share. He had already served a ban for his CERA-EPO busting during the 2008 Tour. In February of this year he ended up in the emergency room with kidney failure. He told the ER staff he gave himself a blood transfusion from blood stored in his own refrigerator. Giving oneself an IV can’t be easy but rummaging around your refrigerator for some stored blood, looking in the lettuce drawer, where did I put that old blood? Oh, here it is, is that mayo on there? Shouldn’t this be colder? It boggles the mind.

This award is not exclusively for cheaters but I tend to see them as most deserving. Ricco has earned mention in the past for cheating and being a prick but for this prank I have to nominate him for the 2011 Broken Chain Award.

I don’t really know what to say about Ricco, he is looking at a lifetime ban and possible prison time. The Italians won’t drag this out like the Spanish. Everyone must dislike him and feel sorry for him in nearly equal amounts. I would be insane to think we have seen the last of him but at least we won’t see him racing unless Tchmil steps in.

Gianni

Gianni has left the building.

View Comments

  • Nicely put, Gianni. Of course, the whole 2011 Ricco affair was wildly entertaining. Especially his on-again, off-again interest in cycling. I liked the whole "I'm quitting cycling and I'm going to be a barista" bit. Word is, though, he mistook the tomato soup in the lettuce drawer for the stored blood. Easy mistake, apparently. If the fridge was colder, then the food would have lost its flavor...

  • A propos your caption, Il Cobra and perhaps the rest of us would have been better off trying to infuse himself with some Dumonde Tech.

  • Ricco really is a scumbag! I can only imagine that even the other dopers dislike him.

    I still remember seeing on the Tourmalet in 2008 just before he got busted.

    Hopefully we'll never see him race in anger again.

  • How about Pat McQuaid and the UCI for the dilly-dallying over Contador, the stupid saddle-must-be-level rule recently introduced and their general incompetence, whiffs of corruption and general antagonism towards progress and innovation?

  • @936adl
    Ha!

    Ricco really is a scumbag! I can only imagine that even the other dopers dislike him.

    He is making us look worse than we already look. He is giving us a bad image! Beautiful.

  • Broken Chain Award? Definitely! Darwin Award? Not quite close enough, Riccy! Perfect choice Gianni...

    When are the V and Anti-V Awards coming out?

  • @wiscot

    How about Pat McQuaid and the UCI for the dilly-dallying over Contador, the stupid saddle-must-be-level rule recently introduced and their general incompetence, whiffs of corruption and general antagonism towards progress and innovation?

    +1 I'm certainly no expert in governing cycling and admittedly I haven't researched to death the inner workings of the UCI, but each time I hear or read about something they have done or plan to do my reaction is far more often a 'What the fuck?' than a 'Chapeau!'

  • @sgt

    Broken Chain Award? Definitely! Darwin Award? Not quite close enough, Riccy! Perfect choice Gianni...
    When are The V and Anti-V Awards coming out?

    ahemmmmm...I believe the editorial board decided to deep-six them this year. It may have been the impasse over the Anti-V award, words were said, feelings were hurt.

  • @sgt

    Broken Chain Award? Definitely! Darwin Award? Not quite close enough, Riccy! Perfect choice Gianni...
    When are The V and Anti-V Awards coming out?

    Anti-V that come to mind to me (caution: you probably will not agree with me): Cancellara whining about every one riding against him at RVV and PR.

    Also, Petacchi and his come back comments in December.

    But, I completely agree that Ricco the Retard takes the cake.

1 2 3 9
Share
Published by
Gianni

Recent Posts

Anatomy of a Photo: Sock & Shoe Game

I know as well as any of you that I've been checked out lately, kind…

6 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Men’s World Championship Road Race 2017

Peter Sagan has undergone quite the transformation over the years; starting as a brash and…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Women’s World Championship Road Race 2017

The Women's road race has to be my favorite one-day road race after Paris-Roubaix and…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Vuelta a España 2017

Holy fuckballs. I've never been this late ever on a VSP. I mean, I've missed…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Clasica Ciclista San Sebastian 2017

This week we are currently in is the most boring week of the year. After…

7 years ago

Route Finding

I have memories of my life before Cycling, but as the years wear slowly on…

7 years ago