The thing about the cold is that you can never tell how cold it is from looking out a kitchen window. You have to dress up, get out training and when you come back, you then know how cold it is.
– Sean Kelly
Apart from the obvious lesson in Rules #5 and #9, hidden within Sean’s sage advice lies a paradox: if we can never tell how cold it is until we’ve arrived home from our ride, then how are we to determine how much kit to wear?
The Kelly Paradox is the layering equivalent of the Goldilocks Principle, wherein we aim to be neither overdressed, causing us to overheat sweat excessively, nor underdressed, causing us to needlessly lose energy through shivering and to hate life at a conceptual level. By extension, it also implies that whatever choice you make, you will get it wrong.
The answer lies in the art of layering, wherein one deploys several layers of clothing that can be unzipped, shed, and added back as both the temperature and the engine room heat up and cool back down throughout a ride.
The first rule of kitting up is that we should expect to be chilly for the first ten or fifteen minutes, allowing for the body to warm up and start producing its own heat to counter the cool outside temperatures. But this may not account for changing temperatures throughout the ride, and therefor we will need to be prepared to alter the composition of the kit.
The second rule of kitting up is that unless it is mid-summer, you are likely to misjudge the weather, so you should be prepared to make adjustments en route. Please observe the following pointers when kitting up for your ride.
- Always wear a base layer, which should be made of wicking material and is designed to keep the skin of your torso dry. In colder weather, heavier wool base layers may be used as an insulation layer against the skin.
- Long Sleeve jerseys and full leggings are always encouraged at the café for pre-ride espressi unless it is genuinely warm and sunny, in which case one is encouraged to bask in the sun and admire you own guns, Boonen-style.
- Arm warmers are preferable to long sleeve jerseys unless the weather is sufficiently cool or the temp sufficiently moderate to ensure the long sleeve jersey will not be shed throughout the ride. Arm warmers may be slipped down to the wrists for further cooling. Under no circumstances, however, are the sleeves of a long sleeve jersey to be pulled up towards the elbows to regulate temperature.
- A gilet should be considered before a long sleeve jersey as it can be easily removed and stowed mid-ride. A gilet should be light and close-fitting like a jersey. When stowing, fold flat in thirds from top to bottom, then in half along the zipper. Slip this between your jersey and bibs rather than into a jersey pocket. This should be done for bonus Casually Deliberate points while riding hands-free.
- It is acceptable for any and all layers to be unzipped and allowed to flap in the wind, emphasizing how hard you are crushing it. Additional Casually Deliberate points are also available for zipping back up while riding hands-free, particularly when doing so while cresting a climb with fools suffering on your wheel.
frankThe founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking.
As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it.
Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen.
Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.
View Comments
@frank
Local knowledge!
Yerp, the PDM kit was something to behold alright. Almost as nice as the Concorde machines they rode.
@minion
fuck me you kiwis are soft.
@frank
You can get em on etsy.
Personally I prefer the darker tones, because the Belgian Toothpaste stands out better on them.
@frank
I've got 38s on the track bike and they are ideal. I'm running 42s on my road bikes, but they feel too wide and IMHO 40s are the best width all round.
When 3t were developing their Scatto bars, they did a literature review and found that the assembly of bone in the shoulder, the coracoid process - the actual points of leverage - are one of the constants of human anatomy, and in males are very close to 40cm. So they only made 2 sizes, 37 for females and 39 for males. Admittedly they are sprint bars but the principles hold true - there is no reason to match your bar width to what you think your shoulder width is, bikes handle fine with narrower bars, and you are more aero. Breathing is part of set up as well, you don't need width to lift your rib cage up and open - that's a side effect of slam that stem doofuses.
Of course this assumes 3t were right.
@Mikael Liddy
There aren't any actual aussies living in Canberra so none of you would know. The inhabitants are either public servants or lizard people, neither of which are bogan enough for the rest of the country.
Not sure how this became a bar discussion, but ... Love my 3T Ergonova Pros. 42cm but that's measured at the bar ends which are flared out a little. So more like 40cm at the hoods. If I ever find a good deal on a used Ergonova Team bar, want to try just to see if/how carbon makes a difference.
@minion
Interesting. I'd say it fails the basic gut check because reaching forward and bringing my arms together and then spreading them apart definitely changes my ability to take a deep breath while sitting at my desk. Also, I'm assuming you're taking the piss saying it was a literary review; hopefully they conducted some studies? Like even just the one I did?
Strong work on sneaking in a slam that stem slam.
Canberra's city planning committee.
I was chatting with an Aussie the other day at the pub about Tazmania. I had no idea Aussies made so much fun of those folks. The scar on the shoulder from where Tazmanian mother's cut off their children's second head? Hillarious.
@frank
Well I was feeling saucy and went ahead and ordered the 42's. I'll let you know post-Christmas if I like em. My dad said he thought they'd sent him an empty box when the bars arrived at his house.
@frank
well they're basically half way to New Zealand, so are treated with about half as much contempt as we reserve for Minion & his fellow kiwis.
None of which is in any way motivated by jealousy at the amazing landscape down there...
@frank
My wife's a Tasmanian, so from the three best islands in the southern hemisphere, Fuck you.
Winky emoticon
@frank
Bah thought I might have got away with calling it a tool-roll,,,
It might be banished anyway as it's managed to unclip itself three times twice sending the Lezyne co2 inflater bouncing up the road(still works though).
Might just get a a toe-strap and fix a couple of tubes under the saddle with that.