Rule 28: Dissenting Opinion

Submitted Evidence "A" photo credit © Chris Protopapas

Rule #28: “White is old school cool. Black is cool too, but were given a bad image by a Texan whose were too long.  If you feel you must go colored, make sure they damn well match your kit.”

You bet white is old school and for good reason, it is the only color of cycling socks that is truly acceptable. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, what color did Merckx wear? What color did Jesus wear in his all-too-short cycling career, Kelly, Coppi, Rik Van Steenbergen, Rik Van Looy, I could go on and on. Not one of them have worn anything but white socks. Years back, black shorts were a regulation of the cyclist’s uniform. It may have not occurred to people to try other colors but black shorts were the only allowed color. Perhaps white socks fell under the same regulations; I’ll let @Oli answer that question. Black socks, god damn it people, are not cool, maybe on a mountain bike while getting wicked air, but not in the world of road riding.

I’m obviously outnumbered by the other Keepers here or the Rule would be three words, “Socks are white.” Every one of the Keeper’s executive board meetings seems to end with me drunkenly banging the table, paraphrasing Bones, “In the name of humanity, Jim, Rule #28 must be revised,” as I slowly slide off my chair and disappear under the table into a puddle of my own sick.

Only in the last fifteen years have the standards been lowered and now it’s a total confusion of bad taste. Again I implore the jury, have we no pride in our guns? A tanned, shaved, well-honed gun can only be properly punctuated by a white sock. Granted the sock pool has become so fouled it’s nearly impossible to even find all-white socks so I won’t be an absolutists (cognoscenti?) but please, mostly white. I won’t even argue length, I find tall socks (Wiggo tall) an abomination but I guess that shows how damn old I am.

Let’s reverse the trend. We have wasted too much energy worrying about podium caps when not many of us are on the podium yet each and every day we ride we make a decision about our socks. If you want to look Pro, get in the know, have a sack, don’t wear black. Write your local Keeper and make your position known.

Gianni

Gianni has left the building.

View Comments

  • @Routier

    Things get a little tricky though when a rider wears dark kit and light coloured shoes. Here we have three guys with three different answers:

    Obviously they should be sporting dark shoes but personal sponsorship deals cannot be ignored. Modern life can be so complicated can't it...

    Is that Michael Barry up front? He looks a little sheepish about that sock choice.

    @michael

    I'll have to vote for black wool in the cold/wet though. Sorry to dissent on this one, but I'm ruining enough stuff when I ride in the rain, no reason to ruin socks too.

    It might be better to Hincapie it up and go with booties to protect the white socks underneath.

    White shoes, white socks. Black shoes, black sock

    Oh it may sound good but it won't look good.

  • @Routier

    Modern life can be so complicated can't it...

    Then simplify and wear white!!

    My VMH bought me some black Defeets ( along with other goodies) for my birthday last week. I wore them once. I felt dirty. I felt like I might as well have ridden with baggy shorts and a camalback. They will now reside in the back of my sock draw until the are eventually "lost".

    By the way Cotho may have given black socks a bad name with their inappropraite lenght but boy oh boy does Wiggo ever try to uphold that legacy. Eveytime I see him in long black socks I want to weep.

    The thing with black socks is this: As you get older you realize that it's a look you just can't pull off. When you're younger you think you can pull this look off but what your friends won't tell you is that, like an obese teenage girl wearing hipster jeans and a cropped T shirt; you can't.

  • @paolo

    The thing with black socks is this: As you get older you realize that it's a look you just can't pull off. When you're younger you think you can pull this look off but what your friends won't tell you is that, like an obese teenage girl wearing hipster jeans and a cropped T shirt; you can't.

    Paulo, I like the way you think.

    @Steampunk
    Absosumrfly indeed, I shouldn't really care but I do. Especially when I'm riding and look down at tanned legs and feel comfort from the white socks below. I'm all twisted up, yes.

  • Hi All

    I agree in principle with Gianni's stated position. Looking Pro seems to be a requirement. As a lurker here I have to declare that the sock that I wear are those that I have bought and until they wear out or cash flow allows That is all I will be wearing.

    I have white ones that are too short (trainer socks for the gym) and black ones that are probably at the lower end of acceptable for length but now ruled out by Gianni. This being the case I will have to don the mantle of shame until my wallet allows me to correct the situation! (I shudder to mention the shoes I wear to ride the bike I have - but then if you see the bike then the shoes are the least of my worries!)

    JoD

  • @John of Denbigh
    Welcome John, don't forget, Rule 28 says you can wear black or colored socks so you are cool. I just don't agree but I'm in the minority of Keepers on it. Hence my dirty rant.

  • @paolo

    Well then let them go to waste in your drawer then. I have a pair of blue Defeet XL gloves which I won in a race that sit in the back of my drawer that I'd be willing to trade for your useless Defeet shoe covers

  • @Routier

    @Gianni
    Yes, that's Barry looking sheepish, and added to the shoe/sock combo is the red shades! Shamefull.

    It could also be the red sunnies. He must have been in a rush out the door at O'dark-thirty that day. Poor fellah.

Share
Published by
Gianni

Recent Posts

Anatomy of a Photo: Sock & Shoe Game

I know as well as any of you that I've been checked out lately, kind…

6 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Men’s World Championship Road Race 2017

Peter Sagan has undergone quite the transformation over the years; starting as a brash and…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Women’s World Championship Road Race 2017

The Women's road race has to be my favorite one-day road race after Paris-Roubaix and…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Vuelta a España 2017

Holy fuckballs. I've never been this late ever on a VSP. I mean, I've missed…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Clasica Ciclista San Sebastian 2017

This week we are currently in is the most boring week of the year. After…

7 years ago

Route Finding

I have memories of my life before Cycling, but as the years wear slowly on…

7 years ago