It is so deeply entangled at this point, I can no longer tell the threads from one another. The strands once ran cleanly from one bicycle to the next, linking a discrete sequence of events, considerations, wants, and desires. But then, 15 years ago, a strong force entered my life and I was forced to find alternate means of justifying the acquisition of new machines and kit.
Finding a partner to spend your life with is an incredible experience; to discover the half of you that was missing and feel it join to its mate to become whole is something that defies description. But it doesn’t make buying another bike any easier. If your partner isn’t a Cyclist, there will be endless debating over ancillary details like explaining why already having a bike doesn’t preclude needing the machine in question, or why the existing stable can’t fulfill the purposes of the proposed new steed. Then – should the case have been made and the principle of the purchase agreed to – there will come the maddening discussions of budget and the prioritization of food or clothing over the bike. Suffice to say, being in a relationship with your life’s partner is worth it, but only just.
Partnering with a Cyclist is messier still. While food and clothing are quickly rank ordered at the bottom of the priority stack, there is the introduction of quantities of bicycles on the already-stretched budget. As the VMH happily supports and participates enthusiastically in the selection of wheels and kit, the knowledge will be creeping in that this acquisition only emboldens her for her own Rule #12 endeavors; n + 1 slips to n + 2.
It happened smoothly, without me noticing. Happy to have justified and gained budget approval for my original Bianchi EV2, I scoured the farthest reaches of the primordial Interwebs to stretch my budget to the maximum. I emerged from the other side with a full Dura-Ace 9-speed equipped racing machine, at which point I had no alternative but to accept that her steel Bianchi needed more than fresh bar tape in order to stand up against my lovely new steed.
She approved her own budget (I hold a seat on the finance committee but do not have a controlling vote) and emerged from a much shorter process with a Camapa Record 10spd equipped EV4. That’s two EV’s more than mine. Her superior machine meant that I had room to make upgrades while flying unnoticed under the radar; lighter wheels, better pedals, saddles, and stems flowed on and off my prized EV2 for several years until finally she had to admit I was due for a more substantial upgrade.
I have found, through this process, that the secret to a happy partnership is to keep the VMH in a slightly better bike than mine at all times. My upgrades stay one step behind, which gives me room to fiddle with my kit while her machines jump in leaps and bounds. Should I find myself unable to justify my own new upgrades, I approach the Committee with the suggestion that she requires an upgrade – a proposal which is approved without exception or opposition. She always lays claim to the best and lightest machines and I get to build and kit out twice as many nice bikes.
I know I’m not the only one taking this approach; Gianni’s VMH got a full Carbone climbing rig and months later he was throwing a leg over his own new steed. My mom recently acquired a 6.5 kilo Redline gravel machine which I’m sure will precede my dad’s next bike. Keeper Jim kitted his wife Jess out with a beautiful carbone rig only to Twitter his way into his own a short time later. All the more reason to marry a Cyclist.
Oh, the web we weave. And if any of you even mentions the word “tandem”, I’m banning you for a week.
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@scaler911
A highly intelligent conclusion.
Zen teacher confuses hell out of student with hard koans and Zen shit. Student says "I don't know." Teacher says, "Keep that don't know mind."
Great article and thread.
Thanks for the article!
Myself is in a pretty comfortable position, even married to a non-cyclist! So far I was always able to get approvals for all new bikes and parts! But there is a nice story to tell:
Last fall I was thinking about a Cyclocross machine, but my wife was really sure about the need of that machine. My local dealer threw the alternative 29" into the ring, but no chance with that as well. So I almost gave up the topic "new bike" for this winter. Until our family vacation to Lanzarote. At one day at the beach we saw a group a MTB riders which did look like a team on their trainingscamp. Looking at their bikes my wife was saying which beautiful bikes they have. "By accident" I found out that indeed it was a team training and racing we have seen on the beach ... and what's that? They are selling their team bikes?
To make a long story short: I ended up in - approved - buying that used team machine. Which was by the way, more expensive then the cyclocross machine I had in mind. maybe I should give that one this winter a try!? ;)
@Weldertron
red bar tape, yep, that's them. did you take any photos of the event? should post them up in the rides section..everyone i've talked to thought it went really well for a 1st year event. and i read you were going down there with a team, but 14! very awesome
Today is our 19th wedding anniversary so it's timely to praise my own VeloMrs and our bike-stuff arrangements.
Unlike those who have to submit proposals to the Finance Committee, we have established a contra-style slush fund in the interests of national security and harmony.
I transfer the agreed amount to support the above-the-line Operational budget which is dispersed entirely according to her needs and wants.
The leftover is subject to a don't-ask-don't-tell policy, which is helped enormously by me being mainly in a different country. We speak only in general terms e.g.
Me: "I was getting a power meter to improve my training and there was a good deal on a whole Enve wheelset."
Her: "Ooh they're very black. And you really needed a power meter did you ?"
Me; "Oh yes. Has Gabriel got cricket training tomorrow... ?"
Everyone is happy.
My wife is a cyclist but a casual one - taking the kids to school, riding to the shops etc. So she acknowledges the joy and benefits of cycling and is happy for me to be doing it, but has no aspiration to go on cycling holidays or ride with the club. My riding therefore has enough of a mysterious aura but is not completely beyond comprehension and there is no competition.
It seems to work.
I dont see a single flat bar in that pic. not one? the veloforma 29er hardtail pretty rad lookin not to mention riding (apparently, haven't dared touch one lest they reproduce in my basement
@ChrisO
Envious?....Yes I am.
i am firmly in the camp of buy stuff and immediately take it round a friends house for storage. Once on "that fucking bike" she will never spot it!
@Deakus
We've even got to the stage where boxes from online retailers herald my monthly trips home, like flowers appearing in spring.
The first five minutes is something on the lines of kiss kiss, hug children, get offered tea, "How was your flight... there's a box for you in the cupboard under stairs and Rouleur in your drawer."
On one memorable occasion I had literally just arrived - I was still in the hallway with a bag on one arm and a child in the other - when the doorbell rang behind me. I opened it to find a delivery man with a box from Wiggle, as if he'd just been sitting in the front garden waiting for me to arrive. It was very funny at the time.
@ChrisO
Just as long as you are sure he didn't end up in the front garden because he had to jump from the bedroom window.
@Marcus
This, well played.
All my mail from wiggle comes to work, its then tried on/inspected/etc at work and deflowered of all its unnecessary wrapping and or tags and boxes and taken home like id had it for years and just never had time to do anything with it.
Shock of my life came when I kept hinting at how crap my wheels where on my new bike and the VMH opened up the wiggle site on her lap top and said, " Just fkn order the damn things, theyve been on the wishlist for that long I sick of the website coming up every time I log on "
Score - new set of Duraace C24's now proudly adorn the Fuji.
@frank