Have you ever been told to take a good look at yourself? Usually it infers that you need to smarten up your ideas, get your shit together, shape up or ship out. If Viagra eyedrops had an advertising campaign, (or indeed existed), their tagline would be: “Take a long, hard look at yourself.”
Most Cyclists need to take a long hard look at themselves. Ourselves. We could do a lot better in the public relations sphere if we took more care to use our playgrounds, ie the roads, as road users rather than pseudo-racers. And we need to take a long, hard look at ourselves every time we kit up and head out the door for a ride. Because what you see in the mirror is what others see also, and we should present ourselves as smart, tidy and sensible, rather than walking fluoro billboards or wannabe Pros.
The mirror is one of the most overlooked pieces of a Cyclist’s kit, and one that needs to be looked into a whole lot more than I suspect it is, going by the rolling messes I see out on the roads on every ride. Of course I’m not endorsing a Rule #66 violation, no sir. Offensive attire isn’t exclusive to the slovenly who go shopping in their tracky pants and Crocs, or the mostly smartly-dressed professionals who top off their neat-pressed pants or skirts with a fucking sleeping bag. You’re not George Costanza, so don’t bother.
It shouldn’t be necessary to tell you how to dress for the ride; you should know that yourself. That’s why The Rules were forged; to educate, yet sometimes to berate is necessary. If you are too clueless to put a helmet on your head level, to wear clean and matching kit, or to buy a pair of socks that don’t expose your fucking ankles, you’re either a hopelessly sloppy individual or a completely lost cause. These are the type of people who go out to dinner with their partner or take long haul flights while wearing rolled-up denim shorts, boat shoes and a t-shirt. Even if you have such little respect for yourself, you, as a member of society, should at least show some for those who have to encounter you.
Let’s smarten things up people. I know for the main part I’m preaching to the converted here, but it’s our duty to spread the knowledge and help ourselves by helping others within our ranks. It’s easy. Pick and choose kit carefully, pre-plan well in advance so you don’t end up just throwing whatever isn’t dirty on, and make sure it’s all adjusted properly. And if you’re in with a show of winning a Monument, straighten up that goddamn helmet!
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Jesus Hilarious Christ. Who is being "earnest" in all these (brief) exchanges about the rules?
Oh, right. The people who aren't paying enough attention to fucking get it or who are missing whatever lobe in the brain it is that handles the irony and humor functions.
@scaler911
Those gloves... I've been wearing dem' straight palm time-trial'n gloves simply because there is no closure at the wrist and no padding. Those gloves allow my to feel the road -- all of it. And they look subtly refined.
@andrew
He doesn't wear that under -- that is his shirt.
@wiscot
And the problem is?
@sthilzy
This is a rider (whether he really exists or not) from the 2012 ASHEVILLE, NORTH CAROLINA MINI-COGAL. Apparently this kit also killed the link to the archived article.
@unversio
What helmet? What gloves? All I see is Belgian Toothpaste.
@Nate I was thinking the same thing. I LOVED watching him flog it in full TT mode to the finish. I like to imagine his thought process was something like
[quick glance behind at the gap]
No...
[settling in to the V-locus for the next few minutes]
Fucking...
[hard right into the velodrome]
Way!
@ChrisO
Better give me a ruling on my Rapha get up then if that's how we are playing this game - refer earlier pic for your critique
@PeakInTwoYears
True words. It was my first group road ride, but I have plenty of experience riding close quarters and exponentially faster on the moto corse. The whole group exhibited top notch skills from the start. After that first section of trail, it was obvious to me that no one was going to do anything stupid or twitchy. Lines were held and communication was clear.
If I could just get you guys to descend faster...
@unversio
Ok, unless this was taken on the way to a costume party or was the result of a lost bet, it gets filed under "Fuck no." There are just too many things wrong here.
If done as a joke: well done sir, well done.