Categories: Folklore

Can’t Do That

Walter Godefroot. photo from www.gios.it

Pity our cyclist, it’s Saturday and he won’t shave his face, it might sap his strength but he has to shave his legs or he won’t look serious. He certainly can’t have sex, more strength stealing there, and kissing his wife, whoa, slow down, that could spread some germs. He doesn’t want to get sick so going to that birthday party tonight, that could be dangerous, crap fattening food on platters, touched by possibly sick people, and standing around, no way, think of the guns. Who can drink alcohol before racing anyway? I need some steak and pasta. Darling, I’ll go to your office Christmas party, I promise, if I can sit with my legs up a bit, and take the elevator up to the office on the second floor.

A little browse around the town center Saturday evening instead, can’t do that. That would require walking and standing. I’m an athlete, damn it. And this talk of going to the pool, basta! Every cyclist knows swimming is bad for the legs.

Pre-race Sunday morning breakfast- this oatmeal could stand some butter and maple syrup. In the name of Merckx, non-fat milk please and what part of high glycemic index don’t you understand? Oatmeal, does that contain gluten?

Our cyclist rolls with two teammates to the race. In the car all the talk is pre-race excuses: I’m too heavy, I might be getting sick, my legs are unbalanced (?!), I drank too much coffee, I stopped drinking coffee, I have too much inflammation in my body.

Cycling mythology never dies. In a world were we still can’t predict the day when we will have great legs, there are still a thousand things out there that will give us not-great legs, and I’m pretty sure it’s all crap. Having just read this amazing interview with Freddy Maertens (thanks @pistard), it’s plain what gives you great legs, train like a bastard. And by bastard I mean back to back to back to back 300 km training days. Only professionals need do this, or can do this (who has the time or will?). That, get a lot of sleep and eat well, that is what a professional from Freddy’s day might tell you. No one was losing sleep over their power to weight ratio, no Pros then looked like Chris Froome now. These passistas looked like guys you wouldn’t want to meet in a dark alley.

Now cyclists train smarter, watt meters and training coaches, weight rooms and soy milk, skinnier and colder. Is there a professional now who just scoffs at such data and just trains long and hard? Look at the legs of riders in the 1970s, almost no one looks like that now and it’s not drugs that did that. It’s unholy training in big gears, some V in the bidon, repeat tomorrow.

[dmalbum path=”/velominati.com/content/Photo Galleries/j.andrews3@comcast.net/tough boys/”/]

Gianni

Gianni has left the building.

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View Comments

pistard says:

Nov 22 2013 at 7:05 pm

@frank Or Motta eating pasta mid-race:
Ron says:

Nov 22 2013 at 8:09 pm

So fucking cool. I have had the Maertens interview open on my computer since earlier this week, waiting for the chance to really give it full gas attention.

I just read it, then um...somehow was drawn here. And now, this and a mention that someone else read that great article. Nice!

"My body has too much inflammation." Wow, talk about a general catch-all for someone eager to make vague excuses as to why they can't do it. Excuses, don't want 'em.
Gianni says:

Nov 22 2013 at 9:05 pm

@frank

@cyclebrarian

Hard to say, mostly because they didn't make it into the Pro ranks because they are too fat.

But Boonen and Fabs are close, I'd say.

Absolutely Fabs. He is a big tough man. Put him in an old Raleigh TI kit and a hairnet and he would fit right in.
sthilzy says:

Nov 22 2013 at 9:28 pm

@frank

@imakecircles

I sometimes wonder if the riders of old were heavier because their bikes were also heavier. For instance Alberto Contador weighs in at 62 kg and the UCI bike weight limit is 6.8 kg for a total climbing weight of 68.8 kg, of which the bike's ratio to the total weight of bike and rider is 9.9%.

It's reported that Merckx's bike was about 9.5 kg and that in 1968 he had slimmed to 72 kg. This would make the total riding weight of 81.5 kg, so the bike would be 11.7% of combined weight.

If Contador had to race bikes of the same weight as during Merckx's era the combined weight would be 71.5 kg and the bike's percentage of total weight would be 13.3%.

As the bike doesn't produce any power on its own, this would obviously be a significantly higher percentage of non power generating weight for a lighter rider to haul up the mountains.

Its irrelevant because they'd all be on similarly heavy bikes. What would matter is if everyone was on light modern bikes except Bertie.

Fuentes and OcaÃ±a would have been closer to Bertie's weight and still they did fine on their heavy bikes.

Not to start the doping talk, but drugs like EPO are what has made these guys so skinny; in Merckx's day, they needed to eat loads and carry more weight just to have the reserves to finish a grand tour. Watch The Greatest Show on Earth and you see Ole eating a fucking steak pre-race.

Contador ate a "steak" once.
michael says:

Nov 23 2013 at 12:38 am

@zeitzmar

Then:

Now:

'nuff said.

This is merely the difference between corticosteroids and oxygen vector doping.
il ciclista medio says:

Nov 23 2013 at 4:23 am

Here's the difference between then and now!
il ciclista medio says:

Nov 23 2013 at 4:25 am

Also, I never realised that Sean Connery was a cyclist?
Ron says:

Nov 23 2013 at 4:45 am

Great ad! I'll take up Chesterfields if I get the lady after a fun ride...

And wow, the FM interview! How incredible, loved reading all those stories and learning about what went on, how things have changed...and him sharing a puff with the Prophet!
meursault says:

Nov 23 2013 at 5:20 am

I read that as too much information in my body!? Thought the article was going a bit Philip K Dick. Awesome photo's, loving the last one with the Wayfarers.
ped says:

Nov 23 2013 at 5:24 am