As an ex-muso and DJ, I thought my days of rockin' out, layin' down some beats and droppin' tracks were well behind me. Then, last week I received a curious email from our esteemed community member, Geof. Curious, because he was now referring to himself as the “G'Phant”, and informed me that we (meaning him and I) were booked into a recording studio in a few days time. What. The. Fuck?
Of course Frank was replying to the emails in his usual manic manner with all kinds of “fucking RAD dudes” as is his wont. A further scroll revealed a set of lyrics in the rap vein, which soon had a huge grin splitting my dial. Of course I was in, you don't have to ask me twice to embarrass myself.
I rolled up to the studio on the Tricross, as G'Phant arrived in style in his flash red V8 Commodore (a Pontiac GTO kinda-thing for you Yanks), in true Lawyer-Ghetto stylez. Mike the engineer played a few drum tracks, and we picked an appropriate beat for our vocal meat. The Notorious G informed me he had arranged a female vocalist to sing (as opposed to our caterwauling and grunting) the chorus, and the bombshell soon-to-be-dubbed Newz took over the room with her outstanding pipes. We needed someone to make us sound good, and Newz certainly delivered the good news. G'Phant laid down some bass grooves on the synth, and we were starting to sound like we knew what we were doing. Or maybe that was Mike weaving his magic.
It was a blast! We couldn't stop grinning, from the brilliant interpretation of the key Rules by Geof, the passable imitations of ghetto rappers by a couple of skinny white boys (well, old men really), and the general good times that creating music brings. Beware; Frank is arranging a video shoot as we rap, I mean speak, and Merckx knows what he is capable of…
*Thanks to Mike at Trident Studios, Wellington for his time and patience, to Newz for her time and talent, and Geof for being a freakin nut and writing the awesome lyrics, booking the studio and making this happen. Loved it.
Presenting: Obey The Rules (Welly White Boy Edit) by GangstaPhant featuring BrettOK and Newz.
[audio:http://velominati.com/wp-resources/audio/Obey_The_Rules.mp3]Download: Obey the Rules
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Hey Brett did you throw that extra "T" on there just to throw us off? Your really Bret from Flight of the Conchords right?
Brett and Geof - Bret and Jermaine
It's all making sense now.
"Mr. Mojo Risin'."
now thats what I am talking about. nice work!
@Brett @G'Phant @Cyclops I met a Kiwi hottie at a hot springs last weekend and we hit it off quite nicely. She couldn't have said nicer things about NZ. She suggested that I would find what I was not finding in the States there...super cool, that one. I have to say, she's got me thinking about checking it out at some point next year...
@Brett
Sending Massive Respect across the Tasman Sea*. Hilarious. From now on, every time I get passed by someone, I will silently dismiss them with, "they don't know how to train".
* Cyclops, that's the 2,000km stretch of ocean that separates Australia from NZ! And you were in the USMC stationed in Okinawa? Am guessing you didn't spend a lot of time in the map room! If you want, go to NZ, introduce yourself to the biggest blokes you can find nearby (Maoris) and tell them how pleased you are to meet some real Aussies. They might lay some gangsta shit of their own on you (or just get hold of a copy of "Once Were Warriors").
And Frank, think you should formalise a rule on the requirement for Down Under Velominatus to be sans hair on head and legs. I already obey this one too.
Thanks, fellow Velominati. And thanks, in particular, to Brett for the post (and his inspired contributions) and to Newz for, well, making it bearable to listen to. It was a blast.
@KitCarson A++1. Love it.
@frank Baldness rocks. And it saves weight on the climbs.
@Cyclops Sadly we are not Bret and Jermaine. This being Wellington, I did meet them once. My stag do (= buck's night) was one of their early gigs (I am sure that playing to 12 pissed cycnics is a much more challenging gig than 20,000 adoring and largely sober fans). I distinguished myself by relieving them of their guitar and singing an impromptu blues song about the paintball injuries I'd suffered earlier in the day. It was apparent to the chaps assembled that the Conchords had a future in the musical comedy business. And that I didn't.
@Cyclops Your geographical oversights are forgiven. Any man who can dream total world domination in the way you do (USMC training paying off?) has little need of an atlas.
One small carpiing point: my car is certainly a disgrace to my profession, but it is not a V8. It is a more sedate straight 6. And it has an "Obey the Rules" bumper sticker (decal?) proudly displayed.
Can't attach the photo but will send to Frank to post.@G'phant
Chapeau
Didn't realise NZ had high-rise carparks yet?
@G'phant
Rollin' dirty. Rule 3 (of Marko's personal Rules) no vanity plates. No judgements whatsoever though, they're my personal rules.
Apologies for the delayed silence: I'm still gobsmacked by it all. In an awe-filled way...
@Marko
That's actually not his license plate. In an effort to protect his privacy and also to make his car more awesome, I photoshop'd it.
Yes, I'm that awesome.
I have to say, I'm humbled that he put that sticker on that gorgeous car.
@frank
Damn you Frank. I was thinking Geof was even more of a stud because he had a bitching stoopid vanity plate on his sweet car. That and the Obey The Rules bumper sticker, he was really a player, rolling around Wellington, parking in his lawyer parking space, driving the kids...but no. Another dream shattered.
He should have that plate.