Mighty Degs over the pave

and Alex Edmondson (younger brother of Wiggle Honda’s Annette) in the U23 Ronde

]]> https://www.velominati.com/guest-article/guest-article-breaking-the-rules-a-note-on-rule-50/comment-page-2/#comment-307330 Sat, 11 Jan 2014 14:15:12 +0000 http://www.velominati.com/?p=28438#comment-307330 Let me know how a beard does after 2 hours in a crit in July at %80 threshold.

http://www.inceptioncyclery.com/7/post/2014/01/why-the-beard-is-important-to-cycling-performance-roadies-take-note.html

@frank

Velominati: the last Latin American dictatorship.

@sthilzy

Inevitable & approved. It means (1) you have been on the bike a very long time, and (2) shaving on race day (or long ride day) saps your energy, apparently (in some Latin American dictatorships).

Seattle’s in Latin America? Damn, I thought it was part of Canada.

@frank

@Teocalli

@Gianni

It’s a guest article, we don’t have to agree with the guest.

That implies we have to agree if it is not a guest article?

No, disagreeing with a Keeper article just means you’re automatically wrong. Disagreeing with a Guestie means you are wrong if you diverge from the Keepers’ position on the matter.

I was reading the reviews of The Book on Amazon the other day, and this is exactly the type of humor that the negative reviewers don’t seem to get.

Except for the guy who took Frank to town for having only a superficial understanding of cycling’s history and traditions. That was an entertaining read. I especially like it when he calls @Frank (and by extension, the rest of us), members of cycling’s “Nouveau Riche.”

That guy was actually really helpful. He pointed out almost every error in the book which we just packaged up and sent to the publisher for correction in later printings and for the  US release coming up in April. I bet he never expected that.

( Martha Stewart voice ) “Not a good thing…”

What’s up with those sleeves FFS? Half length? Also looks like Wiggo’s been at the ink shop again too. Sorry to see that, I was quite enjoying the fact that most pro cyclists seemed to be tat-averse unlike some other sports where the “individuality” bestowed by tattoos simply makes them seen all the more homogeneous.

@frank

No, disagreeing with a Keeper article just means you’re automatically wrong. Disagreeing with a Guestie means you are wrong if you diverge from the Keepers’ position on the matter.

I was reading the reviews of The Book on Amazon the other day, and this is exactly the type of humor that the negative reviewers don’t seem to get.

He was joking?

@Teocalli

@Gianni

It’s a guest article, we don’t have to agree with the guest.

That implies we have to agree if it is not a guest article?

No, disagreeing with a Keeper article just means you’re automatically wrong. Disagreeing with a Guestie means you are wrong if you diverge from the Keepers’ position on the matter.

I was reading the reviews of The Book on Amazon the other day, and this is exactly the type of humor that the negative reviewers don’t seem to get.

Except for the guy who took Frank to town for having only a superficial understanding of cycling’s history and traditions.  That was an entertaining read.  I especially like it when he calls @Frank (and by extension, the rest of us), members of cycling’s “Nouveau Riche.”

What’s the go on a 5 o’clock shadow?

Never shave the morning of; stubble is a source of virility and will make you go faster. Shave, and you will lose all your mojo. I mean, you may as well have sex during the season at that point.

Velominati: the last Latin American dictatorship.

@sthilzy

Inevitable & approved. It means (1) you have been on the bike a very long time, and (2) shaving on race day (or long ride day) saps your energy, apparently (in some Latin American dictatorships).

@Gianni

It’s a guest article, we don’t have to agree with the guest.

That implies we have to agree if it is not a guest article?

No, disagreeing with a Keeper article just means you’re automatically wrong. Disagreeing with a Guestie means you are wrong if you diverge from the Keepers’ position on the matter.

It’s a guest article, we don’t have to agree with the guest.

That implies we have to agree if it is not a guest article?

Who allowed that article to be published? Oh that’s right, the same guy trying to convince us an EPMS is acceptable! What the hell is going on here, have I stumbled into a confessional?

Yeah, that’s right. It’s a guest article, we don’t have to agree with the guest. If he wants to walk into a buzz-saw, he can. I certainly did with my short lived EMPS escapade. These articles keep the blood flowing.

@Optimiste are you on a zanc as well?

Yes, and loving it.  I’m on the western contingent of Mike’s road team, so we’re all riding steel.

@Weldertron

This is not me, nor do I know who he is, but he’s from where i’m from. It was -34c a couple days ago.

The solution here is obvious! Obey Rule #50 and you won’t have icicles hanging from your face FFS.

its like having a salad at McDonalds !

The wisdom of this rule is becoming clearer and clearer.

His solo stuff is kind of fun (light years away from the Hold Steady). When he was in town he performed this new song, the title of which still makes me chuckle.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKUCjUiOIFA

@Optimiste  “That’s not a beard, it’s a home-grown balaclava.”

Perfect…you just dodged a rule infraction….if it is not a beard or facial hair but in fact a type of facial barrier akin to a rhinos horn then you are in fact nowhere near breaching…Chapeau!

Masturbation Principle aside, if are going to do over to the dark side of the this rule then do it properly..don’t fuck around with bum fluff and billy goat chins….get some fur on there boys and girls!

@frank

Do what? Grow it or post it (admit it: you posted the picture again in order to help with your bib-stretching service, didn’t you””it’s okay; I’m a little weirded out, but I know the moo-stash can be a little bewitching)? Slap on a cap and a woollen sweater, and it looks pretty badass. As in Hyppolite Aucouturier badass.

@marko

As a matter of fact, I had him over for dinner in the fall. Nice guy, but no longer sporting the moo-stash. I like me fine.

I thought these Where’s Waldo pictures were supposed to be challenging.  He’s right there, like three times!

@Optimiste

That was a full and thoughtful confession, admirable and worthy of grace. And the beard of which you were either brave or foolhardy enough to post a photo doesn’t even look as disgusting as it might. If you weren’t a cyclist, it might be thought acceptable.

I appreciate that.  The winter can sure wreak havoc on one’s psyche.  But better to work out the demons now than during the racing season.

Keep going and you might be able to melt snow and ice, if not time.

Do what? Grow it or post it (admit it: you posted the picture again in order to help with your bib-stretching service, didn’t you””it’s okay; I’m a little weirded out, but I know the moo-stash can be a little bewitching)? Slap on a cap and a woollen sweater, and it looks pretty badass. As in Hyppolite Aucouturier badass.

@marko

As a matter of fact, I had him over for dinner in the fall. Nice guy, but no longer sporting the moo-stash. I like me fine.

Don’t ever do that again or I’ll ban you for life.

That was a full and thoughtful confession, admirable and worthy of grace. And the beard of which you were either brave or foolhardy enough to post a photo doesn’t even look as disgusting as it might. If you weren’t a cyclist, it might be thought acceptable.

As long as we don’t go down the road, currently fashionable in US baseball, the redneck full beard. (Other US sports are available, but I don’t watch any of them)

The many hours spent freezing my nuts off, sliding across ice and slush, on dark and windy afternoons have earned me the right to sport a moustache.

At various times, we all attempt to justify our rule violations, you end up realising you were wrong.

Well said.  Yesterday I spent at least an hour (and finally gave up) crafting a well-honed comment trying to justify this:

Some of the rationalizations included:

1. ‘cross season is kind of a gray area.
2. It’s not ironic.  And those inordinately thick frames are holding ridiculously myopic corrective lenses.
3. That’s not a beard, it’s a home-grown balaclava.

On New Year’s Day we had our first team ride in several months.  My hirsute visage was cause for much scorn and many reminders of the 5oth tenet.

That episode, and @meursault’s comment, compelled me to this conclusion:

Inevitably, rules will be broken.  We are fallible and prone to bouts of weakness.  However, no amount of time in the saddle, or degree of suffering, justifies breaking the rules.

Alas, Dudley, Nell, and Snidely were my frame of reference for Canadians for nearly 50 years. And then I met you.

Nah. I’m more beret than top hat. (Careful, though: you may be dating yourself here””I was awfully tempted to say “who??”).

@livingminimal

Merckx and Strummer in the same sentence? You just broke the Cool-O-Meter.

Shattered it in fact.

As a fellow Swede I can attest to facial hair sometimes helping against blistering cold, and yes, small icicles will form after a while…

Spot-on. I too live on the flat lands of southern Sweden now, not far from Henrik it seems. I once went out running with a colleague in -10 degrees and his copious amounts of ear hair came back looking like icebergs – for a moment I couldn’t quite work out what it was.

@JACD214

I’ll take the necessary hits for the violation. I grew my Van Dyke (goatee with a ‘stache) 20 years ago. I started cycling 16 months ago.

Yes, I also grew this finely cultivated look 20 years ago -it is me- but only discovered my destiny to follow The Rules mid last year in my first full year of ‘proper’ cycling.

Snidely Whiplash?

@wiscot That would have been awesome! And maybe just a little intimidating. Either that, or he would have thought he was dealing with Baron Von Munchhausen.

Dan, you could create an alter-ego called Baron von Roubaix! A skewed take on Monty Python’s Bicycle Repairman sketch. Except you find yourself unable to fix Specialized bikes.

@meursault

I don’t know about baseball or any other US sport for that matter but your point about realising that our attempts to justify our rule violations are wrong is spot on. As cycling disciples we are attempting to stay on the path; to keep our line and guiding others. Even when we stray from the path the Rules shine in the dark showing us the true line.

And what place has Joe Strummer in these pages?!

I’ll take a picture of Mr. Strummer anyday over Chris Froome in lingerie. Also, I take it you weren’t around when the prancercize video was uploaded? If so, count yourself lucky!

I don’t know about baseball or any other US sport for that matter but your point about realising that our attempts to justify our rule violations are wrong is spot on. As cycling disciples we are attempting to stay on the path; to keep our line and guiding others. Even when we stray from the path the Rules shine in the dark showing us the true line.

And what place has Joe Strummer in these pages?!

 The many hours spent freezing my nuts off, sliding across ice and slush, on dark and windy afternoons have earned me the right to sport a moustache.

At various times, we all attempt to justify our rule violations, you end up realising you were wrong.

Merckx and Strummer in the same sentence? You just broke the Cool-O-Meter.

That is a rather unique reason for breaching a Rule.

I find it compelling, resourceful, and awesome. A Freuler to cover up your cycling-based scar. Makes perfect sense to me.

@Ron

And people wearing non-prescription eye glasses? Fuck them.

That’s the spirit! Yeah, fuck them.

It’s a disability; you can’t turn it into a fashion statement. Not in my book.

Then again, a lot of people do ride around in Rascal’s (see: a wheelchair not requiring a human to push you from behind to move you) just because they’re both lazy, and fat.

Rascal’s are pretty cool though, at least in some demographics. So what do I know?

It’s all about knowing and accepting your strengths and weaknesses. For example, many years ago I suddenly discovered that, no matter how fit I might be, a shaved head is not for short, thickly-built white guys. You accept and move on.

My compliance with Rule #50 has been, well, nonexistent during my adult life.  While the ‘exception’ clause provides for a goatee if one is sleek-pated, a goatee is an atrocity in an of itself and I thus refuse such on my mug.  I throw down the winter cycling glove (gauntlet) for mini-pump duel with any or all challenging my basis for non-compliance with this unfortunate rule.  As a former member of the US Air Force, Mustache March (do a bit of google time for background on Colonel (later General) Robin Olds and his mustache) was well ingrained.  Just before my wedding 35 years ago, I took a bit of a tumble from the bike whilst descending a mountain road (a priori complying fully with Rules  49,  55, and 85!) and struck the asphalt at about 85 to 90 kph.  From the first blood marks to where I was scraped from the road was 94 metros.  Massive deposit to the cycling karma account!  I spent the better part of a year recovering from the broken skull, busted teeth, ground away skin and muscles, and injuries including regrowing the ‘stache to cover the major gap where my lip used to be (VMH married me anyway).  When Urs Freuler came on the scene shortly thereafter, it was reassuring to see a well-mustachioed cyclist.  I have not been without the mustache since.  Thus my basis for non-compliance.

As Henrik suggests, and MP aside, compensatory compliance with all other rules provides some additional comfort – if needed.  Further, an amendment to Rule #50 might be in order.

All the best!

Besides it’s fun to send pictures of my Michigan winter iced hairs to my warm friends in California.

That said, entertaining read and all the best for the winter miles!

Well written!

The article is, of course bullshit, but a great read.

The last paragraph is in sharpest focus a a great example of where the Masturbation Principle should be taken particularly seriously.

Oh, but I meant not to brag but was merely making a factual claim! Erm, well, regardless of this possible second transgression, what about the principle? Compliance with certain rules is a continuous affair and comes in degrees. For other rules compliance is discrete and binary, one either complies or one don’t, there is no middle ground. With continuous compliance rules the greater extent to which one complies with them, the better, naturally. So the suggestion then would be that particularly ardent compliance with “continuous rules” can earn the cyclist the privilege of being less ardent with respect to other such rules, or possibly, breaking non-continuous rules. That being said, it certainly seems that certain rules one can never ‘earn’ the right overlook.

@Gianni

@Ron

And people wearing non-prescription eye glasses? Fuck them.

That’s the spirit! Yeah, fuck them.

WTF? How hipster do you need to be. I would throw mine to the depths of Hell if I could see where it was!

Ah, Rule #50. In a recent podcast, I was asked of which of The Rules would I most frequently break, or at least bend. It caught me off guard, so I waffled up something about Rule #33 – it gets a might coolish in these parts, so my guns get covered and I get lazy sometimes; and something about an EPMS or whatever the awful things are called. Reality, is that I will go for long rides on tubulars with no more than an iphone and a multi-tool as back up. Yeah, I have been know to wait for a few minutes for the team car to arrive.

So on to Rule #50, the only real transgression of The Rules I sometimes break. Re-read Rule #50. It clearly say, “or if your head…” So, when I chrome the dome, the facial hair grows. And yes, I will grow facial hair without shaving the melon too. I am a retired officer, whom was commissioned to uphold Her Majesty’s awesomeness. And that includes awesome sideburns, wavy hair, and the occasional 1800s patch of hair on my face. Dashing is the word I would use.

Dan, I think you should have dressed like the top pic you post when you met Mike S. That would have shown him who he was messing with! Never underestimate the power on uniform or looking sharp.

The last paragraph is in sharpest focus a a great example of where the Masturbation Principle should be taken particularly seriously.

@Ron

And people wearing non-prescription eye glasses? Fuck them.

That’s the spirit! Yeah, fuck them.

WTF? How hipster do you need to be. I would throw mine to the depths of Hell if I could see where it was!

Ah, Rule #50. In a recent podcast, I was asked of which of The Rules would I most frequently break, or at least bend. It caught me off guard, so I waffled up something about Rule #33 – it gets a might coolish in these parts, so my guns get covered and I get lazy sometimes; and something about an EPMS or whatever the awful things are called. Reality, is that I will go for long rides on tubulars with no more than an iphone and a multi-tool as back up. Yeah, I have been know to wait for a few minutes for the team car to arrive.

So on to Rule #50, the only real transgression of The Rules I sometimes break. Re-read Rule #50. It clearly say, “or if your head…” So, when I chrome the dome, the facial hair grows. And yes, I will grow facial hair without shaving the melon too. I am a retired officer, whom was commissioned to uphold Her Majesty’s awesomeness. And that includes awesome sideburns, wavy hair, and the occasional 1800s patch of hair on my face. Dashing is the word I would use.

 And people wearing non-prescription eye glasses? Fuck them.

That’s the spirit! Yeah, fuck them.

I however am suitably tired of people wearing facial hair as a joke or to be edgy or something. Nothing worse than lacking a personal sense of style and just following the crowd. And people wearing non-prescription eye glasses? Fuck them.

Hmm, winter weather. I was just thinking about this because it is 2* here today and I keep wondering if my decision to ride this afternoon is a good one. The sad thing is that before I moved to the southern U.S., I’d have never thought twice of riding on a dry day in these temperatures. I’ve gotten goddamn soft.