Guest Article: The Art of Noodling

Like almost anything in Japan, the creation of noodles is a deeply ritualized art. Recipes are closely guarded secrets, and cooks apprentice for many years in the creation of a restaurant’s specific type of noodle. 

Not surprisingly, this type of ritualization can be appreciated by the Velominati, and Cyclops (who happens to be a bit of a gourmand with a particular interest in Southeast Asian foods) has drawn the parallel here and classified the progression through La Vie Velominatus into different types of “noodling”. A unique approach to say the least, but not without merit. Also note that I skipped lunch and the Article Photo may be skewing my impression of the approach.

Yours in Cycling, 
Frank

Noodling falls into three distinct categories.  The most common noodling – Level 1 Noodling – is usually done unawares by the common cyclist but true art is achieved when one does something exceedingly well without thinking about it.  It just naturally flows from the inner being.  It is when he or she is out solo and is just turning the pedals with no pressure on them.  They might be commuting to work in no hurry or going to the park and Sturmey-Archer 3-Speeds and Birkenstocks are usually involved.  A quick Googling of cycling in Amsterdam confirms that the Dutch excel at this level of Noodling.  Beautiful young women with Dutch accents, flowing skirts, and flowing hair gliding down cobbled lanes with windmills in the background can’t be considered anything but art.

Level 2 Noodling is an entirely different animal.  This level is usually done by the serious/competitive cyclist and is usually performed in one of two ways.  The first being the solo recovery Noodle.  At first glance it seems as though this version of Level 2 Noodling wouldn’t qualify as art.  I mean any meathead can plop some cash down for a discounted Discovery Channel jersey and plod along at 24 kph.  But when we consider that the average competitive cyclist has an extremely hard time not going all out all the time we see that there is more than meets the eye going on here.  What looks like a Lance Armstrong wannabe (Cadel Evans for those on the bottom of the planet) to the outside observer is actually a practice in refinement.   The artist is honing his skills by relaxing the shoulders, all the muscles in the face go into Ullrich mode.  There is a smoothing out of the pedal stroke.  Little details that are ignored when one is in the red zone or pedaling squares come into focus and are given the care and nurture given to the grapes in a French vineyard.

The other version of Level 2 Noodling is the one I like best – because at this late stage of the game I doubt I’ll ever reach Level 3 Noodling.  This version is also known as the early season training ride.  While one might see the aforementioned meathead out on the roads of summer you’ll never see him under the overcast skies and single digit temps of late winter.  While Meathead has been busily stuffing Cheese Whiz in his face at the neighborhood Super Bowl party we’ve been sitting on the trainer watching race videos and chomping at the bit waiting to get out on the road.  I actually like riding in early season cold weather kit more than the mere bibs and short sleeve jerseys of the heat of summer.  A serious artist has all the tools of the trade at his/her disposal.  Neoprene booties, windproof bib tights, long sleeve jersey and matching wind vest, various base layers and different weights of gloves.  These are the signs of someone that loves what they do. We may not get paid to do what we do but there is a certain level of professionalism to the matching kits, the immaculate bikes, and desire to be true to the art that Meathead will never understand. While going at this solo is commendable there is something truly sublime about a group of friends in a double paceline easily cruising in the stillness of (very) early spring.  The only sounds being that of the casual chatting and well maintained drivetrains.  No testosterone flowing.  No attacks by the Cat 2.  No urgency in the pedal strokes.  This is Level 2 Noodling at its finest.

Level 3 Noodling.  This level is reserved for professionals and those at the highest levels of racing.  It is when someone such as George Hincapie or Philippe Gilbert is at the front driving the pace all the while oblivious to the damage he is doing to those behind.  They are in an effortless zone that is free of suffering.  A walk in the park. Yet those behind are struggling to hold their wheel.  I would think that the satisfaction that comes from this level of Noodling could almost rival that of crossing the finish line in victory.  As mentioned above – most of us will never reach this level but sometimes the gods smile and peel back the veil and we get glimpses of it.  Like when the casual acquaintance that fancies himself fit dusts off the old 10 speed to join you on a “ride”.  Or when you see a rider struggling up the climb a half kilometer up the road and you smile to yourself as you reel him in in the big ring.

Cyclops

I really like riding road bikes as fast as possible. I live in Lexington, KY so here is a standing offer to anybody coming my way: Need a place to crash, need a steak grilled to perfection, need a beer you can't see through, need your wheels trued, need theological insight? I'll hook you up. Just get a hold of me.

View Comments

  • @minion
    I'm honoured. I'm really not sure why, but I am just the same.
    I'm equally clueless about Steamy's noodling reference. I'm imagining something scurrilous, but that's just how my brain works.

  • @minion
    Perhaps it's in honour of a shared disdain for hipsters.
    The only draw in your argument is that you wouldn't find a hipster within cooee of that bike.
    1. It's too black
    2. It has the proper amount of seatpost showing
    3. It doesn't have a fucking Concor saddle on it.

    Whilst throttling hipsters is a worthy cause we should all subscribe to, unfortunately I see little potential in attracting one with that bit of gear.

  • Is the "Catfish", I presume from redneck USA backwaters, actually a fish? Is it not actually a slug?

    Looks like it ought to be extinct by now - anything so stupid as to sit still whilst someone grabs it's tonsils has no right to survive - clearly good looks have not been it's saving grace either, but then maybe it is so ugly, it has no predators

    I bet they booze like bastards, probably on the alcoholic water byproduct of the fermenting corpses of their family members who have died of ugliness - then have late night discos lit by fireflies, where they copulate late into the night, before feeling totally embarrassed the next day

    I'd like to start a petition to render it extinct - proposal to have them noodled out of existence by young ladies who come to the fight with built in buoyancy a plenty, and post as much of this war on You-tube, or whatever other channel won't censor it

  • I'm going to be a bitchy snob now.

    The ramen pictured in the article's photo look suspiciously like packaged brick ramen (with additional ingredients). Though the additional ingredients do make it look tasty, packaged ramen is not something a gourmet usually eats. A true velominatus will either make his ramen by hand or cycle across the water to a ramen-ya for the real thing.

    N.b. A gourmand is a glutton, while a gourmet is one who appreciates fine food (Gourmand: qui aime manger et qui mange avec excès. Gourmet: quelqu'un qui s' y connait en bonne nourriture, qui prend le temps d'apprecier la nourriture et de decouvrir de nouveaux mets).

  • @Aidas
    I feel a richer human for this

    Amazing how close appreciation and gluttony live in the Oxford French Dictionary

    A bit like sympathy which lies between suffering and shit in the OED (don't read too much into this, like alfabetical accuracy, as it is a misquoted medical joke - I'll post the correct one when I work it out...)

  • @Dr C

    The reason they are not extinct is because they eat everything that any other fish would not eat. For example, common catfish bait is corn, marshmallows, pickled pigs feet, mexican bar soap, chicken gizzards, roaches, maggots, carp guts, tobacco, and rotting shit.

    There just like hipsters, if the rest of the world finds it boring, stupid, on unsuited for them they latch on to the shit like no tomorrow. Until tomorrow that is, when its not cool anymore.

  • @Minion

    Hmm. You make a valid point sir.
    Mods also seem to inspire an urge for a bit of the ultraviolence.
    It seems however that as their sartorial flair may be considered questionable, they at least ensure that they ride beautiful modern bikes. Thus they should be considered acceptable provided they keep their sidies in check and don't festoon said bike with a hundred mirrors.

  • @King Clydesdale
    fascinating - retro-respect to the catslug indeed - nay perhaps we should regard it as one of the building blocks of the ecosystem we enjoy - I offer my apologies to the ugly feckers

    I imagine there might be a hundred other uses for them, such as making scottish musical instruments, comedy hats, cow udder transplants, portable toilets, childrens' hot air balloons, cheap movies - indeed, maybe a whole recycling industry lies undiscovered

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