Categories: Guest Article

Guest Article: “The Journey Is The Thing”- Homer

Let’s get ready to Rumble!

Yvon Chounard may not be Homer but he is a worthy modern day wise man, he admonished, don’t be a sports nazi. His meaning was, don’t do one sport to the exclusion of all others. It’s tempting not to pursue other sports when cycling demands so much time and leaves one with a body that is barely useful for anything else, but that would be too easy.

VLVV, Gianni

Admittedly, the concept of worshipping multiple deities has lost its popular following in the last few millennia. But we must reconcile theological doctrine with reality and bury the schisms that have caused sectarian strife for so long. The month of October is the perfect time to revisit the sacred teachings.

At first glance, you might call me an infidel upon learning that today, instead of devoting my whole day to worshipping The Bike, I plan to make equally sacred offerings to The Mountain. Indeed, the pile of bespoke cycling gear designated for today’s ride now has to share the same trunk space with ropes, cams, carabiners, and other studly accoutrements of the climbing craft. Upon learning this, many of you likely will condemn me a Rule #4 violator and ban me from La Vie Velominatus for life. But I beg you to hear my case before casting judgment.

In ancient Athens, for example, the good citizens understood that it was prudent to worship many gods; though the gods were fickle and jealous, they could bestow upon you great benefits. What really mattered was religious experience, spirituality, and sacrifice.

I assure you – all of these elements will be present in today’s outing and, as such, I am not heretic, but a true believer. Take for example, sacrifice. What greater sacrifice can there be than braving the desolate country roads of rural Virginia, with nary an espresso in sight, facing a near-rabid canine darting at me as I exhaustedly summit a roller?  In the same vein, the path to our climbing routes planned for the afternoon takes us between Scylla and Charybdis – the dreaded “Poison Ivy Gully” descent or a rappel off manky tree anchors that could, at any moment, be messed with by meth tweakers frequenting the trail. I shall not even speak of the fact that we have to arrive at our destinations in a minivan, for no other mode of transport can accommodate the Hydra masking as our multi-sport gear collection.

The religious experience will be all worth it. There is little that compares to the hum of my overpriced drivetrain on a crisp October day or the cloud of climbing chalk following me like a halo as I flail like a stuck pig on a sandbag Great Falls eliminate. I thusly urge you to consider the wisdom of the ancients and erase differences between the gods. As far back as Homer, great thinkers recognized a unity in the multiplicity of the divine. Skiing season, here I come!

spankles

View Comments

  • Good topic, in the sense that it's a truly awful topic. In the sense that the existential freedom--no, necessity--of choice can be a great big Bitch. I mean, it's all well and good to be polytheistic (monotheism is, in my view, for losers), but what about when your gods vie with each other? 

    Case in point: having relocated to a salt-watery place, it seemed prudent to give Poseidon his due. Ergo, I'm learning to wear a sea kayak in the actual water and have put in some long days refining my (paddle, not pedal) strokes: forward, sweep, high and low brace, stern and bow rudder, etc. Today, even at the very moment of sitting down and finding this guest article, I've been struggling to determine the focus of my afternoon sacrifice, Mt. Velomis or Poseidon's depths. A solo crossing of a good stretch of water has been calling me; today, finally, visibility, wind and tides are favorable for the first time in a week. And yet.

    And yet. 

    (It's just a good thing I had to leave rock climbing behind when we landed up here, or I'd still be letting my legs and lungs atrophy in pursuit of Popeye forearms and vice-grip hands, grovelling my 5.10 body up 5.11 routes.)

    I need to decide and accept the consequences of my decision and enjoy whatever form of practice I choose. But first I have to decide. 

  • I don't buy it. You, of all people, should know blasphemy is forbidden on this site. Repent!

  • doesn't climbing involve developing arm muscles that are entirely extraneous to cycling?

     

    Says he about spend a weekend sailing a massively overpowered boat round a small concrete bowl.

  • " There is little that compares to the hum of my overpriced drivetrain on a crisp October day"

    In my world thre are a few sounds that get close, the sounds of my skates cutting ice is right up there, luckily for me my favorite two compliment each other well and rarely compete for my time spent on them ...  Rule#5 and Rule number#9 and once I think of it, a lot of the other non-bike rules are directly applicable to both sports in fact Rule#43 was in play last night on my team.  While of a slightly different breed there are definite similarities between the hardmen of years past on the ice and on the cobbles and passes....

  • I will be hitting the climbing gym after work today. I balance climbing and cycling fairly well although I will say that cycling got the best of my attention for the last several months.@Al__S  And climbing is an amazing way to build core and back muscles so I wouldn't say that it doesn't benefit cycling at all. And cycling has helped with my foot work and maintaining a good weight for climbing.

  • @DCR

    Where are you? We left PDX, where we had a good gym, lots of local crags, and Smith Rock three hours away. I miss all that, and the VMH (who strongly resembles Lynn Hill, btw) misses it even more.

  • @PeakInTwoYears

    @DCR

    Where are you? We left PDX, where we had a good gym, lots of local crags, and Smith Rock three hours away. I miss all that, and the VMH (who strongly resembles Lynn Hill, btw) misses it even more.

    I am in New mexico. 3 hours from Colorado and 3 hours from hueco tanks. Local gym is awesome as is and they are currently expanding into a 20,000+ sq ft facility. From a cycling and climbing stand point I don't think I could live anywhere without mountains.

  • Have been having the same issue. Many sports are put pain my plate and I am expected  to accomplish them successfully. Many a time has biking been overlooked. I understand the importance of the topic but we have to commit to something fully one day. I hope it could be cycling for everyone.

  • @DCR

    From a cycling and climbing stand point I don't think I could live anywhere without mountains.

    There it is. You sound well-situated. I give you joy of it, sir.

    Decision made! Boat, gear, cold water immersion protection, and flask of vodka stowed on/in the truck. Sun is shining over the Strait of Juan de Fuck It!

  • Well said. Plenty in common between these sports, as I think has been noted before. I'm sure I posted a pic of Hillary and Tenzing Looking Fantastic not so long ago but I can't find the bugger now.

    When I was a teenager, my climbing friends and I used to have Rules of a sort. The two I can remember are: No external kit must hang from your rucksack; not bottles, not cups, not thermarests, not nothing. Everything stowed away neatly. And: no amateur-looking dayglo waterproofs or tents ('Agent Orange' we crassly termed it). The only gear acceptable was understated to the point of being, well, virtual camouflage from a mountain rescue point of view.

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