The mountain does not wait for your form to return.
It’s been about a month since I’ve last been on the bike; I can’t recall the last time I went for such a dry spell. The reasons don’t matter; life and work have been hectic, I moved, the bikes were just out of order and inaccessible enough to make it easy to find an excuse not to kit up and head out onto the roads. And, to be perfectly honest, I didn’t really want to ride.
It happens every so often, this strange desire not to ride. It’s different from the usual one where you don’t really want to go out on any particular day; this is has more to do with burnout than laziness. I’ve learned to wait it out; the desire always comes back, organically and strongly. And come back it did, although it did take a bit longer than I expected.
With coming back to the bike after a while off always looms a long shadow of dread. My legs are soft; I feel it in every step I take. Running up the stairs, my body doesn’t feel as springy and I know that springiness will translate to lethargy on the bike. Out on the bike, I labor with the gradient; the ease with which I once scaled the local climbs hangs in my memory like a dream whose details vanish the more you try to call them into focussed thought.
To prepare myself mentally for the first ride back, I did what every sensible person does: I poured myself a beer, tidied up the bike room, and set about meticulously cleaning my bikes in order to preemptively remove any opportunity for those being an excuse. The bike itself needs to be in perfect working order lest my mind should fixate on the slightest malfunction or noise and descend into a Millarcopter-inducing fit of rage.
Patience will be my mantra for the coming months, patience. I will not push myself too much, I will let the joy of the ride envelop me. Within a few weeks, a shadow of something resembling strength will take shape in my muscles, and it will spur me on to ride more. Eventually, the power will return and the memories of this drought will take their place in the catacombs of my mind.
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@KlamSoss
Bravo. One of the finest pieces of writing I've come across lately.
I have a friend with a different (but similar) struggle and your words echo around my head. Thank you.
@Ron
Sonny, you plain ain't old ! (Insert optional random punctuation keys here).
The benefit I have of losing some of whatever Summer fitness I had is that I found at the weekend that my main riding buddy is in even worse shape.
When I was a young rider, my impatience and desire to keep adding strength led to digging a deep hole of over-training. Fast forward to now, I've finally learned to listen to my body and mind. Where before I would drive through the malaise, now I step off and relax a while. Certainly a long break does soften the legs and add to the belly if you are a beer drinker as I am. But that time away allows those little injuries to heal that nag but do not stop you from riding. It also clears the mind of taking for granted that special feeling of freedom as you ride. Patience, yes. Spring and Summer is coming, as it did last year, as it will next. You will ride, the legs will come around, the belly will shrink.
@KlamSoss
Very nice.
Thanks Frank. A helpful reminder.
The past three weeks have been impossibly busy for me. I took a couple days off to spend with my wife, and spent most of the time working on a school project.
Yesterday, with the project nearly finished, the sun out, and a rare few hours of daylight at my disposal, I stared at my bike locked up on the porch and just couldn't get myself on it.
I can tell I'm already gaining weight. Shorter days means getting on the road happens less - cold, dark rides just aren't as rejuvenating - which means beer takes on a greater role in stress relief.
How to balance embracing the burnout with the desire to improve though? I've got goals for next year.
work has cut my 200 mile per week program back to about 100, if i'm lucky. did a cold 40 miles at tempo in the fog this morning, and it felt great. i was lucky to be riding with an accomplished local velominatus, so i stayed on pace the whole way. better than climbing the same bridge 30 times, which is what some of my rides lately have amounted to.
@KlamSoss
Damn! Nice perspective.
I love that picture. It reminds me of The Triplets of Belleville.
I broke my leg, so there.s my excuse. Hope to be back on the trainer soon. It.s been 6 weeks and I.m flat out mad, depressed, and way too devoted to finding the right formula for the perfect cup of coffee via aeropress, but that.s another story entirely. Thor waits for us all.
@SamV
By accident and the way the racing calendar works, for the past two seasons I've planned my first peak to before the first races and TT's of the season. This has three effects:
1. Base miles are done at the end of the summer and in the autumn when it is pleasant to long rides.
2. Intensity ramps up/volume goes down through the winter meaning that when I'm out on the road I have a distinct goal.
3. The turbo becomes more important in building form and I don't begrudge the time on it when its dark and the weather is crap (which I would if it were the summer).
After the early season races I plan to ease off for a bit, then build up again for another peak towards the end of the season.