It’s the ride you’ll do the most. The hardest ride you’ll ever do, too. You’ll do it so often that it should be easy, but it never is. Its frequency is such that it really should morph into all the other rides of its ilk, therefore negating the actual nexus of this necessary, evil ride. But it never does, it’s always stuck out there on its own, no matter what the duration between it and the next one is, could be months, could be only a week, but it’ll never leave, like that mate who stays for a couple of nights yet really should be paying rent after the first month, or at least offering a 20 for some food. This is the modus operandi of the First Ride Back.
As you get older, the FRB becomes more regular, unlike yourself. Jesus, my latest FRB really shouldn’t have qualified for its status at all, but such is the fickle nature of fitness at an ‘advanced’ age that just six days off the bike is enough to send one into panic, that the hard earned fitness is somehow leaving the body at a rate many times faster than it was acquired. Even with a pretty solid few months of riding under the belt, the effects of six days off, caused by an errant finger meeting a spinning disc rotor, sounded a death knell to me. A couple of opportunities came and went, adding to the mental mire as well as the (mainly perceived) physical one. Jumping back into the Tuesday night jaunt brought the daunt. Begging for hostilities to secede always falls on deaf ears, and plea bargaining for no hills is as well received as a stripper at Sunday school.
I recall reading an article by recently retired Baden Cooke some years ago where he spoke of his own FRB, an annual rather than weekly or monthly occurrence for him. Unlike mere mortals, he would no doubt have a pretty good base to draw upon, and even after a month or two off the bike (and probably partying hard as Cookie was known to do), he would still have the kind of condition most of us could only dream of. Yet he suffered the same mental and physical barriers as a normal rider does, but with a distinctly different approach, namely a 300km ‘hell ride’ from which he’d return some seven hours later with a sense that his season was now ready to start. A 50km jaunt with a couple of efforts thrown in seems almost laughable by comparison, but mirth never seems to enter the equation until the bike is racked and the celebratory beer is poured.
By the conclusion of the FRB, everything always seems much better, no matter how badly you’ve suffered, how far out the ass you were, what portion of your lungs you’ve coughed up. Just when you think you could take no more, the surVival instincts kick in and wring one, two, three last droplets of the Essence of V from within, and gives pride a swift kick up the ass for good measure. The next day you are renewed, and can’t wait to do it again.
Just not any longer than a week away, ok?
I know as well as any of you that I've been checked out lately, kind…
Peter Sagan has undergone quite the transformation over the years; starting as a brash and…
The Women's road race has to be my favorite one-day road race after Paris-Roubaix and…
Holy fuckballs. I've never been this late ever on a VSP. I mean, I've missed…
This week we are currently in is the most boring week of the year. After…
I have memories of my life before Cycling, but as the years wear slowly on…
View Comments
My doctor is Dr. McGillicuddy. And his special cure-all medicine.
@xyxax
"There's only one indication for it. And don't give me any of that 'securing the airway bullshit'" (one of "my" doc's who's a Professor of Anesthesia dressing down a Paramedic student who had just botched a intubation). I'll let you guess the right answer, but I don't wanna hijack Brett's fab article...........
I always take Oct-Nov off the bike as a way to "reset". I usually start the FRB slowly, mixing it up with skiing.
This year, however, I had the misfortune of tearing the labrum in my hip. So after a steroid injection (ya ya, I'm on PED's now......not really) I got back to it last week. Slowly, per the Orthopods instructions. The first 7-10 days always suck. It's really all in your head. Most of it is disappointment at the struggle to get up those steep bumps in the 42/19 that you were killing in the 53/17 in August. One thing that experience teaches us though, is that like LeMan say's "it never gets easier, you just go faster". Faster just can't seem to come fast enough.
@xyxax
There's a reason I went into Ophtho, Dr xyxax!!!
Roger on that. I spend 2 weeks a month offshore with only a treadmill and a shitey stationary bike to try and keep any semblance of "form" I try to convince myself I have, and to read in words that the FRB is not just my own personal bete noire, well it makes me feel a wee bit better. Thanks.
@Buck Rogers
Went to sleep literally or metaphorically?
I can't wait for the FRB after my recent broken hip which was itself done on a FRB - a cold and frosty morning, damn you rules #5&9!!!
@wiscot Ha!
Well, I did not say that he went to sleep with the fishes, did I?
@scaler911
Yes, no hijacking, but I'll bite: positive wallet biopsy?
@Buck Rogers
just pimping you for old time's sake. Felt good.
My last FRB was almost 3 weeks ago - the account at the V Bank was over-drawn that day! - vowed there won't be another FRB for a while. I need careful Tapering-Management this year to avoid the dreaded FRB