Flies and dogs, two things that we don’t need on a climb.
I had descended down this street many times, but I had never before ridden up it. I even said hello to the two excited pitbulls on the other side of the driveway gate. I like dogs. I like them until one of them squeezes under the gate and I’m going uphill slowly. Pitbulls aren’t the fastest breed out there but they can haul ass when they have incentive. He was under the fence and closing the distance to me in seconds. Yelling and sprinting uphill; this could be a new speciality in the sport of cycling. I can shout curses, commands and climb at the same time, a skill the professionals never show off. He was right next to my rear wheel yet I escaped. The damage to my heart and nerves may last forever.
There was an older pitbull on our Sunday ride route. It always added a frisson as we approached the slight uphill bend. Sometime he was waiting for us, sometimes not. Luckily by the time I joined the rides he was a little more bark than bite and a watery blast from a bidon backed him off. Then he was down to three legs. Last time I saw him he was relaxing on the side of the road, he picked up his head and watched us ride by, and put his head down again. Score one for the cyclists.
It’s always a climb when some dog needs to chase me.
In New Mexico, on a rural highway, two dogs saw me from a house above the road. The dogs flew down into a deep gulch between the road and the house. I shifted up and started Hornering (must add to lexicon) my ass up the long hill, hoping they couldn’t get through the gulch. Please baby jesus don’t let them get through that gulch. They must have had a well worn path through that gulch as they were quickly coming up my side with only a guardrail between them and me. Again, I had just enough time to get body and bike flying before they got under the guardrail. Fuckers.
The bidon squirting is a good method; it surprises dogs completely. But it’s hard to do when gripping the bars tightly and crushing the pedals whilst cursing at beast. Pulling a bidon out and spraying a dog in the face requires one let a dog get his face in spraying distance and I’m not that guy if I can help it.
Having your legs spinning in a blurred motion might be a deterrent for the close-in dog. It’s harder to bite a blur.
Stopping? Who dares to stop and put the bike between shaved leg and dog? No, I’m not that guy either. If there is nothing to chase, they won’t bother you. Really, what single breed of dog is that? Most nasty dogs can’t believe their luck that you stopped; it nearly takes the fun out of it for them. What, I can just bite you now? So you stop and do not get bitten, dog just sits there and dares you to ride off. It is a standoff, hoping the owner eventually comes out to see why his dog is barking? The owner is at work, he should be home by 5:30pm.
I’m a bad sprinter and a bad climber but when chased I can do both at the same time. Maybe I just need a canine coach. It would produce my best hour record on the track; a slavering German Shepard who can run 40 km/hr for an hour. In some damaged atavistic part of my brain I actually appreciate this seemingly life or death sprint. I don’t enjoy it but I appreciate it. In cave days we had a rock or spear to make sure we made it through the day. Now we have a big chainring and ergo-shifters to assure our survival.
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Dogs out here are invariably feral. Dogs are haram... forbidden, unclean. Muslims don't have them as pets and I know people who've had to move from apartment blocks because people objected to the mere presence of dogs. Kids will scale walls and stone pet dogs in backyards - their attitude to animals generally is pretty appalling.
So there aren't many but you can imagine that the ones that are around are the meanest, most cunning and nastiest specimens that have managed to evade capture and abuse over years.
One of them took up residence in a building site on the way to our group ride. It was a white, sandy coloured mongrel which is particularly useful when you live in a whiteish, sandy environment. Especially if you want to lie quietly and wait for any passing cyclist pootling along absent-mindedly looking forward to his club ride and not at all thinking he was about to be surprised by one of Satan's minions rushing headlong into the road.
I was so startled I actually fell off - luckily the beast didn't press home his advantage and returned to his lair without giving me rabies and whatever else he carried. Our support car driver - a devout Muslim - would happily have run the fucker over if he came out when we were passing back that way.
After that I was prepared to pass at speed and drop him by going right out into the road, and after a few months the site was cleared and the dog disappeared.
On that note, can I post a picture of a puppy - our new puppy, Fitz, nine weeks old and just came home last Friday. It's like having a little ewok running around the house, and he will definitely not chase bikes.
@GogglesPizano
I am in Calgary! This happened to me out in Bearspaw
@VeloVita
That would be me...
@Brian
Very true. Innate algebra and geometry, that has not been bred out of them, unfortunately.
@Souleur
and they have just the right amount of dumb. In Hawaii pitbulls are the black labs. Everyone has them, most are nice and some are bad news. I always thought it was herding dogs who wanted to chase but I think most animals want to chase. It's their brand.
@Elric
I've considered pepper spray but now that I re-amputated (it grew back!) my EMPS I don't have room for it. I would be a good teaching tool for dogs who chase too. Better to shoot the owner first, to make him understand.
And you are correct about re-vectoring, some missed that class and can't recalculate as well.
@Rob Do you think the doberman would have gone after you if you had cruised by at 10 kph? Who wants to find out? They are obliged to chase when they see you in the 53x12 trying to get by their house and their little princess.
the long hill, hoping they couldn't get through the gulch. Please baby jesus don't let them get through that gulch.
Gulch!? Sounds like a cowboy movie. Get on your horse and git out of towm pardner
@Gianni hey, maybe that image was not clear? Little girl sitting on grass, huge dawg sitting next to her - job description - tear apart anything that moves within 100 meters of said girl, no questions asked, none expected... Really, I was just throwing the dice and trying to get back to Boston with out a half hour delay in trying to figure out how to get past this beast on my pegs holding the 753 in front of me... Today in my current shape I'd be riding back the way I came.
My favorite dog deterrent is the water bottle, had some hilarious results and am always disappointed when I do not get to deploy it. A good shot in both eyes and Kujo can turn into confused whimpering tail tucked lap dog.
This works: I carry some small firecrackers that detonate by compression. Just throw one down on a hard surface, preferably close to the chasing dog, and BAM! Not only stops dogs in their tracks, but they'll remember the next time and not chase. So far, it's worked every time. The "pop-pops" as they're called, are about one inch long, and cylindrical (like the size of a pencil). Easy to carry in the jersey pocket (weigh next to nothing), easy to access when needed. I got 20 in a box for $1. Will go back to Missouri for more (not sold in Iowa). A great dog-training device (doesn't hurt the dog).
@gilly
This is my only comedy writing outlet. Soon the paychecks will be rolling in, very soon. Glad to amuse.
@meursault
Gulch, yeah, I'm not sure what else to call it? Ravine? It was New Mexico so it sounded about right, buckeroo!
@Rob
No, you did explain that properly. These situations are sized up in seconds, gears chosen and sprints started all in the blink of an eye. Both you and the doberman understood the game.
Maybe it's hot enough in Florida to keep the dogs in the shade, too hot to chase bikes.
around here I always seem to encounter cattle be it on the road bike or the Mtb. They always want to run in the direction I am riding and are totally un predictable on when they will cross my path. I just slow down, let them do there thing and then pass them as soon as there is an opening