Categories: Nostalgia

Dogs I Have Known

It could be worse. Image from Carlton Reid

Flies and dogs, two things that we don’t need on a climb.

I had descended down this street many times, but I had never before ridden up it. I even said hello to the two excited pitbulls on the other side of the driveway gate. I like dogs. I like them until one of them squeezes under the gate and I’m going uphill slowly. Pitbulls aren’t the fastest breed out there but they can haul ass when they have incentive. He was under the fence and closing the distance to me in seconds. Yelling and sprinting uphill; this could be a new speciality in the sport of cycling. I can shout curses, commands and climb at the same time, a skill the professionals never show off. He was right next to my rear wheel yet I escaped. The damage to my heart and nerves may last forever.

There was an older pitbull on our Sunday ride route. It always added a frisson as we approached the slight uphill bend. Sometime he was waiting for us, sometimes not. Luckily by the time I joined the rides he was a little more bark than bite and a watery blast from a bidon backed him off. Then he was down to three legs. Last time I saw him he was relaxing on the side of the road, he picked up his head and watched us ride by, and put his head down again. Score one for the cyclists.

It’s always a climb when some dog needs to chase me.

In New Mexico, on a rural highway, two dogs saw me from a house above the road. The dogs flew down into a deep gulch between the road and the house. I shifted up and started Hornering (must add to lexicon) my ass up the long hill, hoping they couldn’t get through the gulch. Please baby jesus don’t let them get through that gulch. They must have had a well worn path through that gulch as they were quickly coming up my side with only a guardrail between them and me. Again, I had just enough time to get body and bike flying before they got under the guardrail. Fuckers.

The bidon squirting is a good method; it surprises dogs completely. But it’s hard to do when gripping the bars tightly and crushing the pedals whilst cursing at beast. Pulling a bidon out and spraying a dog in the face requires one let a dog get his face in spraying distance and I’m not that guy if I can help it.

Having your legs spinning in a blurred motion might be a deterrent for the close-in dog. It’s harder to bite a blur.

Stopping? Who dares to stop and put the bike between shaved leg and dog? No, I’m not that guy either. If there is nothing to chase, they won’t bother you. Really, what single breed of dog is that? Most nasty dogs can’t believe their luck that you stopped; it nearly takes the fun out of it for them. What, I can just bite you now?  So you stop and do not get bitten, dog just sits there and dares you to ride off. It is a standoff, hoping the owner eventually comes out to see why his dog is barking? The owner is at work, he should be home by 5:30pm.

I’m a bad sprinter and a bad climber but when chased I can do both at the same time. Maybe I just need a canine coach. It would produce my best hour record on the track; a slavering German Shepard who can run 40 km/hr for an hour. In some damaged atavistic part of my brain I actually appreciate this seemingly life or death sprint. I don’t enjoy it but I appreciate it. In cave days we had a rock or spear to make sure we made it through the day. Now we have a big chainring and ergo-shifters to assure our survival.

Gianni

Gianni has left the building.

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  • Awesome! There was a German shep on one of the local routes that we'd do interval/ sprint practice on. Now this dog had a "gift". It wouldn't run at you, it would run straight at where you were going to be in 4-5 seconds. Leading you like you were a clay pigeon. So you'd slow, and he'd adjust. Speed up, adjust again. Teeth bared, soul crushing growl/ bark. Never got me, but fuck if it wasn't hair raisingly close every time. It was sport for him. 

  • This is why it's good to do group rides - I don't need to be the fastest guy up the hill, just not the slowest.

  • Was once chased by a dog sharing the same name as my wife (I know this b/c the owner fortunately heard the barking and shouted at her to cut it out). In the interest of marital harmony, I skipped the obvious joke when I got home.

  • I am always amazed at the complex geometry that dogs (animals) can do in their heads while running at top speed. I have a black and white mixed breed (boarder collie/shepard mix) on one of my routes that blasts out from under his coniferous den at top speed while solving for x. Luckily for me its on a rolling section, and with his appearance being as timely as a Swiss Chronograph, I can build enough speed to slip by just as he gets to my back wheel. Hair raising and fun (sometimes) at the same time. I then sit up and think to myself that under different circumstances he and I might be friends....

  • Yeah, sometimes stopping doesn't work. It didn't work once for my VMH on her commute.

    Scaler, do you recall two dogs at a house on Skyline south of Rocky Pt. Rd., back in the late '80s? It was on a descent after climbing Rocky Pt., so no worries just a little fun.

  • @PeakInTwoYears

    Scaler, do you recall two dogs at a house on Skyline south of Rocky Pt. Rd., back in the late '80s? It was on a descent after climbing Rocky Pt., so no worries just a little fun.

    Yes I do. The dog I was referring to was out by Vancouver Lake. Just south of the park.

  • I'll add another vicious fauna to the list...

    I've been attacked on a ride by what must have been some kind of hawk or osprey. I was riding on a rural back road on my own, minding my own business, when all of a sudden I get a SMACK! on the side of my head - it felt like someone had thrown a rock at me, but there was nobody around. It nearly knocked me off my bike, so I had to dismount. That's when I noticed this giant bird swooping around and coming back for round 2. I quickly got back on my pedals and tried to high-tail it out of there, but not before that bastard got me again, this time I think he tried to grab me and lift me off my bike. I kept smashing the pedals and eventually got far enough out of range.

    I don't know what the hell was up with that dude...I must have been too close to the nest or something, but my helmet had a few massive gouges in it from its talons.

  • dogs....now thats something I can speak about.  There are more dogs in the midwest than people it seems.  Pit bulls, sure, but they don't seem to be the worse offenders IMHO.  Labs, the damn labs are the worst, as they have the sense to both territory and to retrieve.  Some are just friendly, but the friendly bump is enough to do the job of taking you down as well as the intentional take down, the ends are the same.   I have sometimes in my mundane world of routine, had the proverbial race to the fencepost corner with my neighbors dog, and day after day, i watch him, and he seemed enamored by the mechanical sounds of the drivetrain, as he never looked at me, but the harmonious sychronicity of my fanstastic spin. 

    So, then I did the following to the dog one day, I let up, like...hit the brakes and slowed significantly, as to say....ok, you caught me.  He stopped, and didn't know what to do.  However, next morning, if i sprinted to the corner post, he did too.  It seems almost a preditor-prey chase response, almost reflexive.

    But I find communication to be my best friend when it comes to dogs.  Not timidly if I feel the threat of Cujo.  Like being loud, laced with vulgarities and deliberate.   They sense that and seem to at least pause enough to let one go...at least to the end of their territory.

    But for better or worse, intentioned or play, they all can take you down and make you spin circles on the pave'

  • Gianni, you have missed your vocation (unless of course you earn your crust writing comedy). That article was fucking hilarious and nostalgic. Got chased by a bull terrier years ago when I was a postman on a Raleigh 501 with toe clips. I was walking back to the bike when I first heard  it, then saw it and was unfortunately in 53x12. That gear plus toe clips that wouldn't play meant the dog was gaining as I wound the speed up. Only escaped by crossing an intersection without stopping. Soiled kecks but legs intact.

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