Categories: Awesome French GuysLook ProNostalgiaThe Hardmen

Five Face

Hinault in his element

Why is it that all the greatest riders look strangely happy when they are suffering the most? Hinault says he still hasn’t regained the feeling in some of his fingers from racing off the front that day in Liege in 1980. He wanted to get someplace warm as quickly as possible, he said. That’s why he went off the front so far from home. Seems to me the 151 riders who climbed in the bus found a more expedient way of doing it.

And I’ll tell you something else: it would have been a crime to cover up those guns. Respect.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

Haldy says:

Feb 3 2015 at 1:06 pm

Some Gavia Five Faces...
wiscot says:

Feb 3 2015 at 2:04 pm

@PeakInTwoYears

I'm surprised he kept his toes that day, using clips.

I wish we in the US of Murica would bin Groundhog Day and institute Badger Day. We'd be a better nation for it, by far.

I'm surprised too - those vinyl overshoes were shite at keeping your feet dry or warm. I seem to recall wee cover things that would go over the clips (similar to those awful toe covers sold today) but I can't recall a pro ever using them.

Loved the clip of the mayor of Eau Claire (WI) getting his ear bitten by the groundhog. That'll teach a politician to get the wee beasty out of its burrow on a cold day.
wiscot says:

Feb 3 2015 at 2:10 pm

@Ron

Surely the soigneur rubbed some concoction onto the Badger's guns. What was the traditional recipe for embrocation? And, are some guys still using some old recipes or are most racers now going to be using the factory-made stuff provided by sponsors?

Wonder how the braking was on those Reynolds wheels. Probably not much worse than the alloy Mavics ahead of him.

VeloJello - commute home last night was a stiff wind in my face the entire time. Plus I was delayed in leaving work and was worried the VeloHounds wouldn't be able to hold it. Nothing like racing on your commuter, into the wind, and facing and wet carpet...

In the 80s my pal John's mother, who worked in a chemist's shop, made us some embrocation - mostly baby oil but with wintergreen and some secret sauce in there too. Merckx that stuff was hot and stinky - but did the job. It only took one lesson to learn that you put the shorts on first, roll up the legs, then apply the embro. Putting on the embro then the shorts tended to cause hot balls!

We obviously weren't pros, but this was a classic example of why we shave the guns - you can't apply baby oil or embro with the consistency of toothpaste to hairy legs. Getting the stuff off when it was mixed with road grime and sweat was a pain in the ass.
Mikael Liddy says:

Feb 3 2015 at 2:17 pm

@Ron

there's an interview floating around with Le Blaireau at the end of that race where he looks like he's so hopped up on something he's about to chew his own lips off...so it may not have all been embro.
Teocalli says:

Feb 3 2015 at 2:26 pm

@wiscot

In the 80s my pal John's mother, who worked in a chemist's shop, made us some embrocation - mostly baby oil but with wintergreen and some secret sauce in there too. Merckx that stuff was hot and stinky - but did the job. It only took one lesson to learn that you put the shorts on first, roll up the legs, then apply the embro. Putting on the embro then the shorts tended to cause hot balls!

We obviously weren't pros, but this was a classic example of why we shave the guns - you can't apply baby oil or embro with the consistency of toothpaste to hairy legs. Getting the stuff off when it was mixed with road grime and sweat was a pain in the ass.

When played Rugby we have a team member who was a vet or something and he used to bring horse liniment. Warmed you up a treat but I do have a tendency to want to roll in the dust and seek out fresh grass these days............
Mikael Liddy says:

Feb 4 2015 at 4:18 pm

Here's the kinda facial expression that ends up winning you rainbows...
Matthew Vagg says:

Feb 4 2015 at 5:35 pm

I suspect Hinault had a notion of what the pussies were doing behind him, and a slight smile crept out. Then froze there. Hampsten on a bike always looks right.
The Grande Fondue says:

Feb 5 2015 at 12:55 am

Le Blaireau always looks like he wanted to kill someone. Here's his last ever race

And here he is trying to stay on Fingon's wheel in (I think) the 1984 Tour, where Fingon was untouchable. Some pretty classy cyclists in this pic:
Ron says:

Feb 5 2015 at 9:00 am

Mmm, let the good photos roll! I still can't comprehend 'crossin' with toe clips. I don't need anything else making racing on cross courses a challenge.

wiscot - Oh boy, home brew embro! I actually had the father-in-law, a pharmacist, score me some Heet, which is not easy to find. It can be used to make homebrew but it's odd stuff; you can put it on and feel nothing, then hours or a day later something sets it off and your legs are on fire. Since I have to put in contacts for cycling, I try to avoid embro unless I'm racing. Even a hint of that stuff left on a pointer finger and your eyes are gonna let you know.
wiscot says:

Feb 5 2015 at 9:04 am

@The Grande Fondue

Le Blaireau always looks like he wanted to kill someone. Here's his last ever race

And here he is trying to stay on Fingon's wheel in (I think) the 1984 Tour, where Fingon was untouchable. Some pretty classy cyclists in this pic:

"I can go faster if you like" says Laurent, "would you like me to?"