Guest Article: Just give me something – something I can use

A Pile of Kits

In our continuing guest article series, @eightzero weighs in on the modern cycling jersey. It’s made of some unholy material which has a half-life of fifty years and unless you crash in it, it’s still in your kit drawer.

Yours in Cycling, Gianni

As the song goes, “we need dirty laundry” so goes the pile of road gear. While the preferred kit is the Sacred Garments of the Velominati, it is also true that said SGs need periodic washing. Nothing is worse (and potentially dangerous to one’s health) than pulling on yesterday’s bibs and jersey. I know the commandment to heed Rule #5 at all times, but staph infections are taking it to the extreme. I suspect even The Keepers would not endorse throwing one’s self to the pavement intentionally to acquire road rash just so we can look like Jens. Since giving the Machine a quick rub down after the ride is a priority, getting the SGs through the laundry often requires a delay.

Thus, most Velominati have a store of various bibs, base layers, gloves, and jerseys. And the latter is what gives me pause. Oh, what to do with those jerseys acquired with stars in my eyes – when those same jerseys and logos were adorned by the True Giants of the Road I so wished to emulate? A certain Texan made buying postage stamps cool, and then I had to have shark week on my TV. My sister-in-law was afflicted by MS, so it was natural that I show my support for the Tyler Hamilton Foundation, and his teeth grinding rides with CSC. And then, I had to look like Floyd. Had to. He was the Guy That Got Screwed. The guy that stood up to the alphabet soup groups. The guy that was going to make a difference and provide the hardmen with fairness.

Yeah, that turned out well.

I do my level best not to think that I have more invested in cycling clothing than I do in Machines. This clothing stuff is expensive. And, even though I now know that USPS was likely defrauded, that THF spent donations on Ty’s legal defense, that I can’t afford cable TV anymore (much less a science-y channel on the premium lineup) that CSC… well… hell, I don’t even know what CSC makes. And of course, Floyd has moved on to something called NASCAR, something I don’t even think of as sport. (I know I am going to catch hell for that, but really, driving in circles isn’t even exercise. What will be next? Olympic bus riding?) But I still have all these perfectly functional cycling kits and jerseys. They will function just fine, but somehow they always seem to find their way to the bottom of the stack, far, far below the SGs. I seek the path of the Velominati, and it is oh so hard to feel the guiding hand of Merckx upon me when resplendent in the wardrobe of… douchebags.

I guess I can be a little philosophical – I did resist the urge to buy Rock Racing’s kit – the most expensive of them all. Sure it looked pretty jazzy – I even met Michael Ball once – but $280 for a jersey? No wonder the dude has more money than, well, the United States. And I just never did get around to a Bahati Foundation jersey. I think my internet connection was down the day Floyd was on that team. My dad does like his Phonak hearing aid I got for him though. So I got that going for me.

So, off I go to eBay again looking for bargains. I see BMC kit prices are way, way up. For now. Sigh. Guess I’ll have to have one. La vie Velominatus.

eightzero

An old man with a bike.

View Comments

  • The only pro kit I've ever been tempted to buy is the BMC kit. I think it's classy and not totally blinged out with labels. It doesn't even really look like a pro peloton kit to me in the sense of advertising shit all over, more like a kit one could wear riding a BMC. But alas, the Witte Kit has arrived and my wardrobe is nearly complete.

  • @gaswepass

    @DerHoggz
    I had a similar but different question. As far as baselayer, we did yesterday over 4 hours in 0-4 C weather with some climbing n sprinting and stopping. Had a thicker smartwool baselayer on (under a normal cycling polypro jersey and gore windstopper light jacket). At the end, no clamminess, a little bit of hypothermia, and some exhaustion. Used it and a thinner version this past cross season, which was a bit warmer and drier than last year. Always wicked like a champ, short/long rides, aerobic/anaerobic times. So I will be asking VMH for more of those base layers (and they don't pill much at all). AND NO POLYPRO FUNK!
    So my question is, those old school wool jerseys- do they perform like smartwool, or do they get soggy and funky?

    Don't be modest. You guys rocked almost 6hrs yesterday.

  • So does smartwool do well in the summer as well, or are base layers not really used? I've heard good things about bamboo as well, anyone with experience?

  • @paolo

    @rhys

    as long as you're laying down some V.

    Rhys this is not aimed specifically at you but this idea of everything being cool as long as you lay down some V is becoming far too common place in my opinion. In the sock thread, in the shoe thread. It all stems from the wording in the rule about leg shaving. We cannot and should not be using the "as long as you're laying down The V" as some kind of "catch all" get out of jail free card. By all means people debate the points, there are cases to be made. Classic team kits..yes? no? maybe..black shoes, white shoes, black socks. Eveyone can make a riveting and eloquent point BUT if we keep repeating the mantra " it doesn't matter as long as you're laying down The V" then we might as well all grow beards and ride fixies in fucking flip flops..fer fucks sake.
    Rant over...sorry.

    Duly noted, paolo. I realise it wasn't directed at me, but perhaps I should clarify my reason a little more.
    Many of my friends ride MTB pedals, black socks, black shoes, and hairy legs. I'm not going to tell them what to do. They were my friends before cycling, my friends now, and they'll be my friends after cycling.
    Being new here I was worried about coming off as a pretentious snob, which is why I added the caveat of laying down some serious V (because at the end of the day, it's the one thing we all have in common).
    Now that I realise the company I'm in, I understand this caveat is no longer needed, and I feel warm of heart.
    Fair weather!

  • Cycle jerseys are big business - especially in the custom jersey market. We recently made a batch of jerseys for work as part of a marketing campaign.

    No one want's to be seen in the same jersey as someone else, so the more 'custom' the jersey, the more special we/they feel.

  • @DerHoggz

    So talking about kit, merino/sportwool is a good all-weather base layer, more or less?

    It's awesome. I come from the land of icebreaker, and am replacing all my baselayers with merino.

  • @DerHoggz

    So does smartwool do well in the summer as well, or are base layers not really used? I've heard good things about bamboo as well, anyone with experience?

    I wouldn't use a base layer in summer but a sportwool jersey is fine if it is a good one like Rapha.

    I've used cheaper imitations and I reckon I've ended up carrying around an extra half kilo of sweat. (I'm not making that number up, I weighed it).

    Some people swear by the mesh vests (Giordana, Castelli, Craft) as base layers in warm weather. They are like old-fashioned string vests. The theory is that it helps wick the moisture from your skin to the jersey and because the jersey is slightly off your skin it can evaporate more easily.

  • @gaswepass
    Look at REI or similar retailer for a product called Sports Wash. It was designed to remove the funk from climbing and hiking clothes. Works great on Jerseys and shorts.

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eightzero

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