My first bike was a Sears Moonlight Special. It was literally a piece of shit – figuratively. I mean, it would only “literally” be a piece of shit if shit was made of sand-filled steel tubes salvaged from the plumbing of the local sewage facility. Which it might have been, but I simply don’t have the peer-reviewed evidence to back that claim up.

I feel comfortable stating that this bike cost less than $50 USD back in the early 70’s, and it was yellow. It also had a saddle which, upon my personal dissection (Go Science!) was conclusively comprised of a shaped steel plate covered by a thin foam pad and a faux-leather shell. Made in America, fuck yeah. That’s one reason right there that the United States doesn’t have the same over-population problems China does.

After that, I was given my dad’s Raleigh, made of Reynolds 531 tubing which I loved deeply, apart from the exposed brake cables and Weinmann centerpull brakes. I installed some aero brake levers on it and quickly learned the value of owning some proper brake-adjustment tools like the Third Hand. (I’m not sure why a Third Hand is a bicycle-specific innovation; having one more hand feels like a genetically-viable mutation.)

Finally, after a summer of saving up, I bought my own proper racing bicycle, a Cannonwhale SR700 with Shimano 105. In hot pink, for $700. I loved the shit out of that bike, crowning it with every accessory (apart from an EPMS) that one can think of: I couldn’t afford Scott Drop-ins, so I happily accepted my brother’s bar-ends from his Bridgestone as substitutes. I saved up for ages and bought a Selle San Marco Regal and got one step closer to looking like Greg LeMan. Benotto bar tape was a no-brainer at only a few bucks a roll. So Pro, so cheap. And it never wore out and it didn’t matter how bad you were at wapping bars; if you needed four rolls to cover the real-estate (wrapping the brake levers cleanly is the crux), then you were still only out about $10.

It was such a great bike. I rode it in France, Belgium, The Netherlands, not to mention most of the northern United States. I rode with my family, my friends; I rode with my dad the most. In fact, the only time I dumped that beautiful Regal saddle was with him, five minutes into the first ride with that saddle when he decided to change the route and hang a louie when I was overlapping wheels with him. Scraped the leather clean off the right-side of the saddle. No worries, a little super-glue and the saddle lasted me another 10 years.

I lost and found my way back into Cycling two or three times during the lifetime of that $700 bike. If I was the man I am today, I’d have kept it, too. I still have many of the parts, but I dumped the frame because it’s too big for me, and I didn’t realize how much it would mean to me today. We all walk the path of La Vie Velominatus in steps; it is only natural to wander off the path from time to time.

My #1 is worth something like $10k, maybe more, maybe less. Which in any case is a stupid amount of money for a bicycle. My Nine Bike is the hand-me-down, worth a bit less but in practical terms, almost the same. An entry-level bike, like my ‘Wale SR700 would cost a few thousand dollars today, well out of reach of a young Velominatus hoping to get into the sport.

Cycling is supposed to be the accessible sport, the sport of The People. What happened?

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • @Teocalli

    @wiscot

    @Oli

    @wiscot

    It’s actually an ISIS bottom bracket!

    Crap. I’ve got ISIS on the winter bike! Try getting that through airport security – “what’s this son?” “It’s an ISIS bottom bracket.” Then spend hours in a wee room with TSA, FBI etc.

    Repeat to self a million times: octalink, octalink . . . .

    Nothing to worry about sir, just a routine inspection of your bottom bracket….

    +1 hasn't been handed out in a while. This whole thing is gold, but that made me spit my coffee.

  • The persistent flow of new technology into bikes does occasionally mean that you can get those $10,000 bikes for far less.  I bought a new 2013 Cannondale Supersix Evo Team with 10 speed SRAM Red at the end of 2014 for $4500.  Heck, the Mavic Carbone wheels were worth half of the price paid.  I think it helps if you ride a frame on the small or large end of the scale - I'm on a 58.  How often have you seen a killer deal on a bike only to click through and discover it's an XS!

    If you're patient and smart about it you can find deals on complete bikes.  I bet there were some steals on bikes unlucky enough to be kitted out with DA 7900 once 9000 hit showroom floor.  Or when the bike company releases their new model that is 24 grams lighter, 17% stiffer with more vertical compliance!  Even though the "old" frame was good enough to win dozens of professional races!

  • @Ron

    At this point in my life, I have two hobbies: riding bikes and playing futbol. I play soccer twice a week, I buy cleats and turfs ever few years. Not much money put into that.

    That is why I don’t worry about what I spend on cycling. I don’t own a car. I ride a bike 7 days a week. I need commuter bikes, I need cross bikes, I need mtn. bikes, I need road bikes, I need steel road bikes, I need carbon road bikes. Considering I’ve now been at it for 13 years, I’d say my stable was acquired slowly and the spending was spread out. At this point I buy things here and there that I need – bibs to replace worn ones, chains, tires, some new bars or seat pillar, etc. Nothing major. A new bike purchase is a few years off, gotta really be lusting after something new/different from what I have.

    With that said, I place no restrictions on my desire to constantly buy new shades. The sad part is that I’m running out of room to store them in a ready-to-go style. Oh well. This is my only indulgence in life, aside from always buying more jalapenos than I know I can eat in a week. Thankfully, jalapenos are cheap, especially when half of ’em you eat are grown in your garden.

    Buddy just told me last night he picked up his first full-suspension mtn. bike, a 2008 model that went for $2000 USD, for $350, with a helmet, spare tires, and spare tubes included. Deals are always out there. The guy had just had his second kid and saw his riding time cut even more.

    +1. I commute to work, and live in a terribly, terribly poorly designed, unlovable bog of a city where every public planning decision has given precedence to drivers and people wanting a big, cheap shitbox to live in a mile away from their neighbours. To own a car here costs north of 2 grand a year for rego and insurance, so I figure the alternative to owning 2 cars is to keep a bunch of bikes on the road (1 commuter, crit bike, track bike, road race bike) and a TON of kit. The unusual thing is I buy everything on the basis that I'm going to wear it out - I don't flip bikes, I buy clothing based on durability, I wear clothes that are more than one season old, and I race 2- 3 times a week. I also, to my eye, appear to be in the minority. 2 of my bikes are second hand, and a handful of tools, and a bit of nous working on bikes has saved me a couple of grand easy over the last couple of years.

    Ive been around the bike trade and bikes for a fucking long time, and still get looked at funny when I turn up for rides on the rain bike because, you know, it's raining. No, it's not carbon, 11 speed, and no I don't ride an S works (never have, never will). It's the best tool for the job.

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