The most important moment in a man’s life is the first time they have a beer. I place it on the list above sex and having a child because sex usually only happens as a direct result of drinking beer. As for having children, I’m given to understand they are poop factories at first, then promptly become loud, and then obnoxious before they resent you for the next fifteen years. If my math is right, it isn’t until after about twenty-five years that you can stand them and the investment starts paying off. Given the instant gratification of beer verses the ROI on child rearing, its not even a close. But the real clincher is that men love solving problems and there is no chance of solving problems if you don’t create them first.
As Cyclists, beer also forms an important part of our training regimen; after a day of crushing our opponents and laying down enormous helpings of The V, it is critical that we give our muscles the rest and nutrients they require in order to rebuild and become ever stronger. Required nutrients include things like carbohydrates, sugars, and proteins. As it happens, beer is made of things like – wait for it – carbohydrates, sugars, and proteins. According to alcoholic nutritionists I’ve spoken to as well as some recent studies, beer taken in moderation is the ideal recovery beverage after a hard workout.
But there’s that annoying word again, “moderation” – always with the moderation, these scientists. Apparently, you can’t go and get hammered every time you ride a bike or the alcohol will have other effects like making you fat, stupid, and bloated. Alcohol slows your metabolism and lowers your impulse control, which forms a double-whammy as after you get drunk and stuff your face, your body will have a harder time burning those extra calories.
When I started getting serious about losing weight and improving my climbing (this was immediately after my first ride up Haleakala), I completely ignored the possibility of giving up on booze as I’d much rather starve myself than stop drinking. But the fact is that dieting and training only yielded limited results. When I finally accepted the notion of reducing my alcohol intake, my weight started to drop and my riding immediately improved. The most surprising side effect was how much better my sleeping patterns became which also feeds into post-ride recovery.
I’ll never give up beer completely because I’d hate to be without problems to solve, but for anyone who is struggling to lose weight, take note: diet and exercise are key elements, but you won’t get there without taking a hard look at your alcohol consumption. I’m not suggesting you stop drinking altogether; drink a beer or two after riding to help your recovery, but beyond that alcohol will get in the way of reaching your goals. Unless your goal is to drink more, in which case I remind you that your liver is the only organ that can regenerate itself.
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Just enjoyed an Allagash Dubbell Ale in an official Velominati beer glass after a long turbo session. Perfection!
It's a pity beer tastes so bad!
I tried to like it, I really have. Infact my younger years are pepperd with me at functions trying to drink beer without vomiting. Quite like a Cider however. Still, can't drink it post ride. With the amount of booze I drink (virtually nothing) and with a little post ride dehydration it goes striaght to my head. Now if I could only get the wife dehydrated.....
@kixsand Thumbs up!
@kixsand
More power to you - that's awesome. The bike is the reason that I don't still smoke a pack a day and guzzle a six-pack to wash it down.
That said, there's a reason that they serve beer and wine at the contrôles at Paris-Brest-Paris - alcohol is a fine analgesic. I'm a fan of having a beer at the turnaround on longish (300km+) rides. Just one, mind you...any more than that saps your virility.
Little Creatures or Fat Yak standard fare down here, or the good old South Australian faithful Coopers Pale Ale.
@kixsand
This is a great post. I was just talking to my boss the other day about the same subject; she was drinking more than she should and not losing weight despite training for a marathon. Stopped drinking just until the big race a few months later and hasn't turned back. She still drinks socially, but it was interesting to hear her say things like, "I'm not such a bitch anymore"...the funny thing is, I have noticed that she's been more supportive of how incompetent I am! Win-Win.
I've slipped a bit this last winter; nothing like being over-stressed, over-worked, and under-trained to get you to indulge in the booze.
Drinking seems necessary when you're doing it, but when you ease off, you realize you don't need a glass of wine in your hand all night. I'll never stop drinking, but I like to keep the throttle eased back to where a glass is great but most of the time I'm just drinking water.
Or vodka. Hard to say, they look the same.
@Dean
Perfection! Funny story, as I was designing those, the idea to put the V-Cog in the bottom evolved. When I got the first prototype (which I think Brett has now), I got so fucking hammered, I couldn't see straight. The VMH (i.e. adult supervision) was in India on business and I was so stoked to see the V-Cog appear that I just couldn't stop pouring more beer in it and drinking it until the V-Cog appeared.
Ironically, that is the only glass in the world where the answer truly does lie at the bottom of the problem.
@antihero
Beer in the bidon stuff aside, drinking and riding is one thing I've never been able to get behind. Drinking and skiing, sure thing - loosens you up. But drinking and riding? Never.
I ride to feel sharp and in control, booze just takes that away. Any other time, I'm fine being fuzzy and out of control, but when riding, no way.
@antihero
Reminds of my favorite movie. "I don't avoid women Mandrake, I just deny them my essence"
@kixsand That really rings true. I'm currently conflicted. I've made it to no alcohol Monday to Thursday with random Friday and or Saturdays without. I have moved away from what I consider the heavy drinker mentality that means generally "a" glass of wine turns to three, and one beer often results in a six pack. Bbizarrely I found myself saying to my wife the other week that I wish I'd never started drinking because I think my enjoyment of a beer or wine or three defines part of me I don't want to give up. Man, I love beer and wine.
Honestly, I can't see me going to full abstinence and I am at the point where I do have the control not write myself off and don't even think about it when I don't drink. Which is nice. The dark side of this that nobody tells you about, is that I've moved from away from booze and have a fully fledged ice cream and chocolate habit.
All kudos to you.
@Barracuda
I didn't say you're a Fat Yak. I said beer makes you fat and stupid. There's a difference.
@Puffy
Funny about the bad taste of beer. Here's a paragraph that I cut from the article deleted because it was pointless: