Spain is an awesome country. It has amazing scenery, culture, cities and chicas… oh, the chicas. Its football competition features the world’s best players, their national team are the reigning World Cup holders, and they boast world champions in tennis, Moto GP, Superbikes and Formula 1. They regularly kick the collective asses of France and Italy, and a lot of other European countries when it comes to bicycle racing, although most of their recent heroes have somewhat of a cloud hanging over them. So why does their Grand Tour hardly raise an eyebrow when compared to the other two big tours, and why the fuck do they still allow cowards on horses armed with poison darts to taunt and kill a beast as noble as el toro for ‘entertainment’?
I can’t really answer the last one, but the fact that La Vuelta is treated like the road racing equivalent of a red-headed stepchild is about as fair as the Corrida itself. To me, and to many pros, it is seen as a tour of redemption. Those who, for one reason or another, either due to bad luck, bad management or bad form suffered a less-than-stellar Tour de France, now get a chance to make something of their season and add a ‘major’ to their palmares. Riders like Jan Ullrich, who in 1999 took the amarillo jersey after sitting out Le Tour with a dicky knee. 2008 saw Contador make amends after his Astana team was prevented from starting le Grande Boucle under a doping cloud. In fact, La Vuelta and doping have more than a passing aquaintance, with Valverde winning while under a pending hearing in 2009, and of course little Robbie Heras getting stripped of his 05 title after an EPO positive. Last year wasn’t without its own scandal, with a positive for 2nd place ‘sensation’ Ezequiel Mosquera dragging La Vuelta’s name through the red dust again. It could well be the dirtiest tour of them all, a race that itself seeks atonement as much as those who race it.
This year’s edition has the same sense of redemption written all over it, with some of Le Tour’s unfortunates having a crack at it. There’s Wiggo, who was in the self-proclaimed form of his life before snapping his twig-like collarbone early on. Can he show us what he had promised on the roads of France in the Dauphine, or will the Spanish heat and steep, long climbs be too much for him? How about Jurgen Van den Broeck, also looking great before his own clavicle calamity ended his July. Invisible Denis will also be there, his Geox team considered not good enough for the Tour, out to show that he’s still a force and add to his two Spanish victories. Other battered old warhorses who will never give up easily are Andreas Klöden and Carlos Sastre, but father time may have finally taken its toll on this duo.
In reality, it’ll probably come down to the younger brigade made up of last year’s winner Vinnie Nibali, J-Rod, Scarponi, and Anton. It could be a blow-out, or one of the best races of the year. We may even get another drug controversy to keep up the status quo of years gone by. Whatever happens is anybody’s guess, which is why this race is one of the hardest to pick for VSP contenders, and one that might even be as exciting, vibrant and colourful as the country it traverses for three hot weeks.
So pour yourself a glass of Sangria, give the start list a long or glancing look, and post your picks before 5am Pacific time (yeah, I don’t know when the hell that is either…) and if you have any doubts, confusion or questions, head to the VSP page for clarification, rules and/or rebuttals. No horsing around, no bullshit.
Buena suerte!
I know as well as any of you that I've been checked out lately, kind…
Peter Sagan has undergone quite the transformation over the years; starting as a brash and…
The Women's road race has to be my favorite one-day road race after Paris-Roubaix and…
Holy fuckballs. I've never been this late ever on a VSP. I mean, I've missed…
This week we are currently in is the most boring week of the year. After…
I have memories of my life before Cycling, but as the years wear slowly on…
View Comments
@scaler911
Being ANZACs is why Australians and New Zealanders love each other.
The underarm incident is one of the many reasons why we hate each other.
And to be clear, Russell Crowe is a New Zealander.
@frank
Maybe everyone or at least certain key individuals need to have a worlds-jersey inspired icon next to their name denoting nationality so as I can keep track of the Trans-Tasman Sea/Inter-commonwealth flame wars.
@Marcus , @frank
Nevermind, this explains everything.
@Marcus
K. Someone bowled underhand not overhand (even though that wiki entry was in english, I'm still confused), which was legal, and a tea cup got smashed (Mark Burgess?), and two entire countries hate each other? It's kinda easier being American: we love everyone, and they all hate us.
@scaler911
It is more a big brother/little brother thing. NZ: second child syndrome. Our entire population is 4 million, about the size of one of Australia's 2 main cities. we like to think we're a big player in the region, but with 22 million people, the fact that they can sell dirt to China for bazillions of dollars, and that they've got a lot of dirt, means we're kidding ourselves. With sports, we compete at the same things (isoteric nonsense no - one else cares about) apart from sports Aussies make up and only play themselves. There is a common sense of humour based around the fact Australians are all theiving convicts, and their most succesful land animal, the kangaroo, is the one that can outrun a drunk randy outback rancher.
This isn't helping. Australia is often referred to as the USA of the south pacific.
@scaler911
You will see from Minion's detailed knowledge of our vast beautiful country that Kiwis think a lot about Australia. Australians on the other hand, only think about New Zealand when we realise there are a bunch of them over here sucking up social security. Or when we are beating them at sport.
And a sheep's running speed (or lack thereof) is precisely why they are New Zealand's most favorite animal.
Now I'm really offended - I'm not really a Brit you know Frank. Marcus and Oli are forgiven by comparison.
I live there (well I live in Abu Dhabi actually but my family lives in London) and now have dual nationality but I would always fail the cricket test.
That probably means nothing to you, but an odious politician in the 80s called Norman Tebbit (think of him as Johan Bruyneel to Margaret Thatcher's Lance Armstrong) was riffing about the fact that Indians and West Indians etc come to Britain but don't truly become British. His definition of this was that when England played said countries at cricket, which team would they support ? If it was the home country then they fail the cricket test, which is how it is now popularly referred to.
The flaws in this were:
1. Britain doesn't play cricket, England does.
2. Supporting the English cricket team is like supporting the NY Mets instead of the Yankees. On balance you are doomed to a lifetime of pain with the occasional ray of glorious sunlight only serving to make the shadows darker and colder.
At any rate, having gone through the stage that all Australians in the UK do (and Scots never leave) of supporting everyone BUT England/Britain, I have now reached the point where I am quite happy if they win (e.g. Wiggins) but not when they are up against Aussies (e.g in a mini-pump death match between Anna Meares and Victoria Pendleton).
Hence, to return to the original subject, I am not criticising as a Brit having a pop at an Aussie team/rider/manager to wind them up, but as someone who feels a genuine sense of being represented by those teams and people and therefore, I feel, someone with a right to hold a view - even if I should be less prickly about it.
@ChrisO
Now it all makes sense. You are very confused man. You sound like a mate of mine when he used to talk about chicks. And then he came out.
Just like the Piti Principly, pick a country, one country and stick to it.
@ChrisO
btw, that was intended to be playful banter Gladys
Fuck, this is fun.
It' just like watching the Palestinian / Israeli conflict if the only weapon allowed was wiffle cushions.