Categories: Riding Ugly

Riding Ugly: Damien Gaudin

This machine kills cobbles

The simple art of riding a bicycle can be undertaken in many ways. Watching the stylish commuters of Amsterdam going about their business in the most Casually Deliberate way makes you wonder if indeed anyone is actually going about any business at all. I don’t know how anything ever gets done in that city; everyone seems to be on their way to the coffee shop or on the way somewhere else from the coffee shop or just generally moving about with no actual destination or modus operandi to speak of. Sometimes the only indication that these aren’t Dutch zombies riding around the city is their abilty to smoke and text while riding, something I’ve never seen a zombie do successfully.

The French are also renown for the laidbackness, and while the volume of Gallic bicycle commuters is nowhere near the levels of the Dutch, they still can lay down some serious Cas Del around the rues. And god knows what those women are talking about on their phones while cruising along, but it still sounds sexy as hell to me. A good reason not to learn the language, as they could be just ordering a pizza, and to hear that accent reeling off a list of meaty toppings would spoil the fantasy, I’m afraid.

Which makes me wonder if Damien Gaudin is in fact French. I’m sure he’s got a voice like honey over velvet, skin as smooth as polished alabaster and eyes you could swim in, but boy, he sure does make a meal of riding his bike. Oh, he can ride it fast for a long time, for sure, but he looks like he’s trying to rip the headtube from the frame with his own bare hands kilometre after kilometre. Bottom brackets must cringe when they see the 189cm, 79kg figure approaching, and his time trial bike is thankful it only has to endure the punishment over a short distance.

With shoulders more often seen on a footballer than the snake-like ones of most cyclists, and knees and feet more at home caving in someone’s skull in a bar brawl, Gaudin is a picture of raw power on the bike the likes the French haven’t produced since The Badger ruled the peloton. While Msr Gaudin exudes none of the supple stroke or total Rule #5 class that Le Blaireau oozed, he may well have a post-racing career pushing people off podiums just like his country’s national icon.

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Brett

Don't blame me

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  • For the metric impaired (such as myself), 1.9m is roughly 6'2", 79kg is about 175lbs. Not a hulking monster in many other sports, but certainly so in cycling.

    Faboo is roughly an inch shorter and 5lbs heavier for comparison. Those extra five lbs must be the key to the smooth stroke, cause Faboo looks like butter. Damien looks a bit like the accountant who rented a jack hammer for the weekend. Way more power than he is capable of controlling. He is a young 26 years old, so he may yet settle into his own.

    For what its worth, I was in awe as he poured out the watts during the Paris-Roubaix.

  • The guy shits more guts than any of us already have. His was the ride of the race outside of Faboo. No i say, do not get him to change his style. This makes races interesting, lest we all end up watching riders spin courses without facial expression, movement or anguish.

    I hope even more riders come through like him, he was riding from the heart and in the red, appearances and form of stroke bedamned!

  • Nice catch Brett. As I watched him smash a giant gear in P-R I was sure he couldn't keep that up very long. But he did. How can someone turn such a big gear on the cobbles, and look so bad doing it? In the other videos he looks smoother. As with most things, one's form falls apart at huge intensity and P-R certainly demands huge intensity.

    Good on him. Though we all want to look good on the bike, we all would rather be able to bridge up to the next group in P-R. And he is easily identifiable in the peloton with those knees sticking out.

  • Talking about riding ugly- this weekend is the Portland tour" de ronde." 2 days, each 48miles and 8000' climbing. Rondepdx.com for details. a truly unpleasant beast of ride. Happy trails.

  • @Beers

    The guy shits more guts than any of us already have. His was the ride of the race outside of Faboo. No i say, do not get him to change his style. This makes races interesting, lest we all end up watching riders spin courses without facial expression, movement or anguish.

    I hope even more riders come through like him, he was riding from the heart and in the red, appearances and form of stroke bedamned!

    So true. At the professional level in the "sport" which I compete, most players have such similar "strokes" that they are virtually indistinguishable from one to the next. Elegant and aesthetic to be sure, but similar. However, there is one self-trained "player" who, by all accounts, has a very unaesthetic "stroke" that is powerful and somewhat magic as to its effect on the trajectory (vertical and horizontal) of the ball. For example, arcing sideways, some fifty yards, around a tree to win a rather significant tournament.

    This magic would likely be impossible to achieve were it not for the atypically obtained ability, resulting in both unconventional physical and mental faculty. Certainly makes for a more compelling spectator experience.

  • You all know he's also Le Lanterne Verte, right?

    Are those solar panels in his TT helmet?

  • Surely Chris Froome gets a shout for riding dirty? Never looks comfortable. Elbows out like he is trying to barge his way though a road packed with bovine cattle. Yet the man is a mountian monster and seems to find power in guns the size of match sticks when some of the hardest are flagging!

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