The grade is long and I am climbing away. I’m not going to Pantani this: I am not out of the saddle, not in the drops and not leaving everyone in my wake. The climbing gear was engaged a long time ago. There is progress, but I am not dancing up this climb. A little more cadence would really help here. If I could just get this mother-lover spinning just a bit, I could get somewhere. Maybe I’m not in the granny gear, yeah, maybe that’s the problem. Maybe I do have one more gear, the gear that will solve this whole thing.
The right middle finger drops to the shifter and pushes. No. Nothing, just the feel of the derailleur hitting the limiter screw. Idiot. You knew you didn’t have another gear didn’t you but you couldn’t resist, could you? Why do I even do it? I know the answer already but I still do it. Hope springs eternal when one is too big to climb. I did it with downtube shifters too; crank that shifter back hoping for a little more action.
I bet Gino did it when he only had three speeds and a hand lever running down the seat stay to manipulate. “Mamma Mia, sto fumando come moto di un Hippie. Ho solo bisogno di una marcia in più.” *
The only time I look down and am surprised at what gear I’m in is the rare occasion when I am in my climbing gear and crossed on the “big” chainring. And that would be the only justification for wondering what the hell is going on “down there”.
My mountain bike actually has gear indicators, which are embarrassing. What are we, three year olds? On that bike I just keep pushing levers until I can’t, or I just fall over. Maybe, in a few years, when we are all forced into electronic shifting, a soothing voice will emanate from the lever. “Really? You want an even easier gear? You don’t have one so get your fat ass off the saddle, get in the drops before I auto-shift you into the big chainring and leave you there. And you call yourself a Cyclist.” The possibilities are endless.
* Loosely translated- “FFS, I am smoking like a Hippie’s motorbike. I just need one more gear.”
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@Gianni Yeah, where are those grupetto pushing jokers when you need them?
Of course they'd probably end up being those bikini clad Borat impersonators...
@Gianni, you, sir, have struck a nerve. I always feel like a failure when I push the lever to the stop with no resistance. It's like Archer losing count of his adversary's bullets.
My pre-loved n+1 came with a Group-San triple and, so far, the escape gear has only been deployed twice.
A low-tech version of the Gianni 1000 would be to remove that little ring altogether so if I ever went for it again my bike would promptly stop to inform me that I am too weak, should better consider my life choices, and Rule #5... and put the chain back on.
I quite like the double tap function of climbing up a gear when you attempt to find a lower granny. It's like my bike telling me to HTFU, reminding me it's now a 5 & dime situation. When it happens, I make myself push the bigger gear for a while as punnishment before going back to the granny.
My bike came with a 11-28 which I have replaced with an 11-26. You know what... I don't think I climb any slower. I reckon I used to drop into the 28, but not pick the cadence up to match. The 11-26 keeps me Rule#10 compliant. Maybe I should swap it out for the 11-25?
PS. When is SRAM going to come up with a better range of 11 speed cassettes??????
@DeKerr
Sounds like you are engineering a rest stop to me.
@unversio
Dude, no offense, but the name "Caesar's Head" could have me pissing myself if I thought about it too much.
Again, no offense. I'm sure it's a very large head and will give you... Shit. I'm sorry.
Great article! The (perfect) Italian phrase in a very nice bonus.
@wilburrox
I believe Shimano had something called Flight Deck which was a computer that displayed whatever gear you were in so, perhaps the disparagement is already capable with a Group-san.
Re: Ferrari and other performance cars: the foot clutch has been eliminated by they're not really automatic; the driver still controls the revs (cadence).
@PeakInTwoYears
Pathetic... now it is all behind us (Ooooooo)!
@Mike Stead (@tweetymike)
I'm shocked to see so many responses without a correction. On the 11-speed Red and Force Bro-sets, and also the most recent 10-speed versions, there is a limit function preventing the dreaded accidental upshift. Attempting the unavailable downshift provides an extra click, but no derailleur action. It sounds terrible, but doesn't drop the chain down the cassette causing you to rethink your drivetrain decisions.