Training for ‘Cross

I recently upgraded my phone, tablet, laptop, and TV to their most modern respective operating systems. These devices are now are so interconnected that they know what I want long before I do. In fact, I might not want it all, but no one can tell because I’m already doing what they told me I want to do. Presumably while driving.

I have become quite adept at texting while riding my bike. My phone buzzes, I reach into my pocket, examine the message, and determine whether I should answer that particular buzz immediately or wait until I’m at a stop or at home. I don’t navigate any kind of logic tree to make this determination; I simply respond to my inner monkey and tap away my inane response. I should not have this skill, texting while riding. By all rights I shouldn’t even have my phone with me. I shouldn’t need to be reachable when I’m on my bike. That’s part of the point of being on my bike.

There is something about being out in the wilderness that flips a primal reset switch in my soul. Mountain biking and backcountry skiing often take us away from phone networks and traffic the way little else can. The problem with mountain biking is a lack of the hypnotic rhythm that riding on the road offers, which is part of the enormous appeal of riding a bicycle; the rhythm of the legs pedalling along has a trance-like quality to it and the spell is broken whenever the bike hits a root or a rock or a rut. This, for me, is the appeal of a good gravel ride or even a good Cyclocross ride: you’re still on a road bike with most of its hypnotic trappings, but you still get to descend into the wilderness and experience the great escape from technology. Along with just enough technical riding to make a tantalizing cocktail of Awesomeness.

Fall is here, which means the road season is all but behind us; ahead of us lie chilly, wet rides in our Flandrian Best. And Cyclocross. I have an extensive background riding rigid mountain bikes in the 90’s, which makes me almost automatically good at Cyclocross. Except Cyclocross also includes running and remounting. My basic trouble with training for ‘Cross is that I never do my drills for things like remounting. My remount looks like a wounded duck trying to ride a pogo stick. I could master it, of that I’m certain, but once I’m riding my bike I find it nearly impossible to climb off just for the privilege of climbing back on.

In the immortal words of @G’rilla: I don’t cross-train. I train for ‘cross.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • @RobSandy

    @Teocalli

    CX is clearly an essential part of a pro-cyclist’s development……

    Certainly explains why this guy was so ‘cross.

    The Badger was a very keen 'cross man. His attitude? Ride it "because you never know what you'll find under your wheels." In other words, it makes you a much better bike rider. Evidence he was right? I can think of Hinault crashing three times: Dauphine 77, the Tour where he broke his nose, and the Paris-Roubaix when he narrowly missed the dog.

    Oh, and it looks like he's doing 'cross wearing a yellow jersey. Just in case you forgot who you were riding against!

  • @Ccos

    @RobSandy

    @Teocalli

    CX is clearly an essential part of a pro-cyclist’s development……

    Certainly explains why this guy was so ‘cross.

    I think he didn’t get into it until his La Vie Claire days, but learned to dismount and remount on both sides in a single day. It helps that he is a bad ass.

    Before LVC I think. He's wearing Gitane/Campagnolo shorts so it must be winter 78 when he rode for Renault-Elf-Gitane, after he won the Tour for the first time that year. (I'm pretty sure he's wearing a yellow jersey).

  • It does appear that his jersey in the cyclocross photo is indeed a yellow one. The photo in this post is tagged as from 1979.

  • @Rick

     

    Different jerseys, SS -v- LS, and a more prominent sponsors logo but same badges.

    This would suggest that the cross photo was from le Cyclo-Cross international de Cuiseaux the result of which was reported on 6 November 83.

  • @chris

    @Rick

    Different jerseys, SS -v- LS, and a more prominent sponsors logo but same badges.

    This would suggest that the cross photo was from le Cyclo-Cross international de Cuiseaux the result of which was reported on 6 November 83.

    I was looking for one with similar badges as all else can be changed. In this case, We need some stinking badges!

  • @wiscot

    @Ccos

    @RobSandy

    @Teocalli

    CX is clearly an essential part of a pro-cyclist’s development……

    Certainly explains why this guy was so ‘cross.

    I think he didn’t get into it until his La Vie Claire days, but learned to dismount and remount on both sides in a single day. It helps that he is a bad ass.

    Before LVC I think. He’s wearing Gitane/Campagnolo shorts so it must be winter 78 when he rode for Renault-Elf-Gitane, after he won the Tour for the first time that year. (I’m pretty sure he’s wearing a yellow jersey).

    Somebody didn't fact check Slaying the Badger very well then. I would agree with your observations on the photo but why let facts stand in the way.

    I would love to see Froome ride cross, but the aberrations he would commit in style might cause mass hysteria.

  • @chris

    @Rick

    Different jerseys, SS -v- LS, and a more prominent sponsors logo but same badges.

    This would suggest that the cross photo was from le Cyclo-Cross international de Cuiseaux the result of which was reported on 6 November 83.

    Actually, in the photo, I think he is wearing arm warmers. And 79 would make sense as he won the tour that year too!

  • Taking a phone on a ride? Of course you do! How else do you make the 'call of shame'?

    "Yeah, about 30 miles north, I'll be standing at the side of the road..."

  • @Ron

    In other news…Sagan is a fucking champion. Best season of all time for a guy in the WC bands?

    after Eddy Merckx won the 1971 Worlds in Mendrisio, he immediately knocked off the Tour of Lombardy.  he opened the spring classics season in 1972 with his fifth Milan-San Remo victory, followed by his third Liege-Bastogne-Liege, which he paired with a Fleche-Wallone victory, making him only the third rider to do the Ardennes double.  next, he won the Giro d'Italia for the third time and Tour de France for the fourth time, where he also won the points jersey for the third time.

    then, he set the hour record, and put it on the shelf for the better part of three decades to anyone using a conventional bicycle.

    and the '72 campaign wasn't even his best year, just his best world champion year.

  • @Ccos

    @wiscot

    @Ccos

    @RobSandy

    @Teocalli

    CX is clearly an essential part of a pro-cyclist’s development……

    Certainly explains why this guy was so ‘cross.

    I think he didn’t get into it until his La Vie Claire days, but learned to dismount and remount on both sides in a single day. It helps that he is a bad ass.

    Before LVC I think. He’s wearing Gitane/Campagnolo shorts so it must be winter 78 when he rode for Renault-Elf-Gitane, after he won the Tour for the first time that year. (I’m pretty sure he’s wearing a yellow jersey).

    Somebody didn’t fact check Slaying the Badger very well then. I would agree with your observations on the photo but why let facts stand in the way.

    I would love to see Froome ride cross, but the aberrations he would commit in style might cause mass hysteria.

    I only posted that because I thought it was a good pun.

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