Categories: The Bikes

Bikes of The Tour 2013

Is Trek the new Bianchi?

How can we not talk about the Tour? After Sunday’s stage it’s hard not to be a little excited. Until yesterday the most thrilling thing I had seen was Mark Cavendish’s mad man chase back to the peloton after a late-in-the-race crash. He needed to get back quickly as the race was hurtling toward a sprint finish he was supposed to win. Happily there was a TV moto trying to follow him. For much of the chase he was without teammates, picking his way through the following convoy at high speed, jumping curbs, drafting cars very close, zipping around everything with millimeters to spare. He is a sprinter. These scenes are happening during every stage but the TV viewers miss almost all of it.

And now the rant…

Are all carbon monocoque bikes getting uglier as their computer aided design becomes more and more functional? Engineers are designing for a combination of aerodynamics, weight, stiffness but badass looks are not a design parameter. BMC has been crowing about some new software that produces the best design after a zillion Monte Carlo simulations but man, that damn thing is not pretty. All the monocoque frames must be heading toward the same computer derived solution, but not quite yet. 

I’m sorry to offend Pinarello owners but the new Dogma is incrementally uglier than all the other preceding ugly Dogmas. It pains me to say this. I am a devout Italophile and longtime admirerer of Pinarello bikes. And I’m the one around here lecturing about form following function, but this bike is wrong. I realize the kinky stays and fork blades are shaped that way for performance, aren’t they? The frame looks like it stayed in the easy-bake oven too long and everything got a bit wobbly before it cooled.  The front fork is a horror, the seat stays are bent the wrong direction, the chain stays don’t match.

The all carbon-weave clear coat frames are boring. Pinarello takes a lot of pride in their paint and for that I salute them. Luckily Sky’s and Movistar’s bikes are painted glossy and dark. It’s harder to see just how nasty the front fork is. With all the frame designs stuttering toward the same solution, it’s the paint that sets them apart. Matte black Orbeas and Bianchis look nearly identical until the orange or celeste paint goes on.

Trek has also been into the paint for its frames. Thankfully one doesn’t see a carbon clear-coat Madone. They have a new weight- saving paint this year and for the Tour they unleashed a beautiful mono-pantone  “lei ‘o pard blue” (not to be confused with leopard blue) for the Shack rides. Now that is a paint job! The new Madone is ugly. There, I said it, but the damn paint saves its kammtail ass. Its head tube, or what used to be the head tube looks clumsy. At least the Trek bikes have a proper front fork and it’s painted that great color, as is the seat mast. Would I like the Pinarello if it was painted up like this? Yes I’d like it a lot more but I can’t get around the wavy fork. The first time I saw a steel Colnago with straight fork I fell in love. It shouldn’t even work but does. I’d never considered that a front fork could be straight. Straight fork yes, wavy fork no. Is it just me? Obviously it is as every Pinarello has a noodle fork and they are selling nicely. What does Ernesto Colnago say about a Pinarello? Believe me, I wish I knew. The Colnago C-59 is a fantastic looking bike and if that was painted completely “leopard” blue, my head might explode.

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Gianni

Gianni has left the building.

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  • @Deakus  Could not agree more about the Giant. Absolutely stunning bike My LBS owner has one as his current number 1 and he chooses it over his Cervelo. He told me that it's incredibly fast but that he only cut the seat tube after about twenty re-checks of the tape measure! Lucky Bastard!!

  • @Dinan

    @sthilzy

    I've got the new Roubaix SL4 frame. I love it and think it looks amazing...

    In the end, looks are surface deep. It's how the frame rides that counts!

    -Dinan

    That frame has nobbly knees!  But I like the simplicity of the paint job...

  • @heinous

    The Katusha Canyons are looking good. Top tube not horizontal but at least it's straight. I know it's a bit of a Cervelo-a-like but still...

     

    Ridiculous Reclining Italics

    Name would forever conjure up images of this...

  • @frank

    It has to be said, I'm beyond enamored with my Veloforma CCX's design and paintjob! Rode the shit out of it last week and it just kept taking and taking and taking whatever I laid into it. Amazing.

    Is that an EPMS there? Or are my eyes deceiving me?

  • @Souleur

    Here is how bad it has gotten with the cookie cutting carbon, when Cannondale has as good looking bike out in the peloton...guys, really?? Where did the Euro pimping character leave and go to??

    That does sum it up. Cannondale with a good looking bike. But like @Joe says, Europcar's Colnago C-59s are mighty handsome still. Their black and metallic green frames of last year drove me nuts too. To each his own, unless the other guy has crap taste.

  • @Gianni

    @lordmoos3

    I suspect a spare sew-up. It better not be an EPMS or I'm going back to one tomorrow.

    I know they're OK on MtBs in certain circumstances, but that's @frank's CX bike yes? How does that rule apply to a CX?

  • @lordmoos3

    @frank

    It has to be said, I'm beyond enamored with my Veloforma CCX's design and paintjob! Rode the shit out of it last week and it just kept taking and taking and taking whatever I laid into it. Amazing.

    Is that an EPMS there? Or are my eyes deceiving me?

    @Gianni

    @lordmoos3

    I suspect a spare sew-up. It better not be an EPMS or I'm going back to one tomorrow.

    Fuck me, seriously? Fucking SERIOUSLY? Me, an EPMS? I'm not prone to experiment with rule violations the way a college kit experiments with sexual orientation. I'm not Brett, for fucks sake. Come the fuck on.

    Its a spare fucking tub.

  • I'm kind of digging the rear brake setup on the Trek but would be interested to read the rants and musings of the collective on this point...

     

  • Apologies. The angle had me thinking you were committing heresy. I was wrong to doubt.

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