FFS Friday: Rule #95 Violations

[rule number=”95″/]

This festering blight on the Cycling landscape seemed to start with cross-country mountain bikers, who often finish their race alone and have time to stop at the finish line, look around to see if there are any spectators in attendance, then bend over like a shaved praying mantis to struggle with the 7 kilogram heft of their carbon hardtail, holding it aloft for the mandatory three seconds until their imaginary judges give the green light to drop it back to earth…Should you be neck deep in a river or for some reason need to throw your bike over a prison wall, exceptions can be made -Brett Kennedy. The Rules

Exceptions can be made as Brett points out, and how could one end up in prison with one’s bike?

Far be it from us to criticize Fabian Cancellara’s Strade Bianche antics. Doesn’t he read The Rules? He would have had to read all the way to page 228 to get to this gem and admittedly, he is a busy man.

Well if Fabian can do it, I can do it. That is how the trouble begins. Tim Wellens couldn’t resist. He had a solo victory and time to kill and maybe deep in every professional’s contract there is a clause that says one is paid 10,000 euros for raising your bike over your head. But damn it, professionals are supposed to act like professionals or every school yard kid will be trying it. And then where will we be?

If you want to hold your bike over your head, you can; find a deep river to ford or when being incarcerated, bring your bike.

 

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57 Replies to “FFS Friday: Rule #95 Violations”

  1. Welp, it would seem that I’m not the only one who wants to date that girl on her Bianchi on rollers. Seriously let down. Damnit.

    Hmm, who is the last Grand Tour stage winner to cross the line with colored tires?

  2. @BacklashJack

    I agree with you except that the logo on the underside of the downtube is visible in photographs taken from a low angle. I agree with everything else including his shirt and him and those pesky kids should get off my lawn!

  3. @kixsand

    @chuckp

    glad to see that you’ve taken my post as it was intended – you must not golf that much.

    I used to play a lot (30-40 rounds a year), but not so much the last few years. Mostly now watching my daughter develop as a golfer. I love playing with her and love that I have a golf buddy for life. We’re actually playing in a scramble tournament this weekend and I’m letting her captain our team (it’s a fundraiser for her high school). And I’ll take this opportunity to brag as a proud dad: she was selected to play in the pro-am for Tiger’s tournament (Quicken Loans National) at Congressional Country Club.

  4. @BacklashJack

    Ridley have always had a strong cyclocross connection, and as someone who works for another CX bike company, I know we always like a company logo on the underside of the down tube so it’s visible when the bike is being shouldered. I imagine Ridley uses one in house design team so it’s the same crayon handlers work.

     

    However, that’s not really a valid excuse for a road bike….wtf Ridley ;)

     

     

  5. How about today’s Giro finish? Etixx put the dope slap on young signor Moser…. and he’d be a classy rider were it not for the excessive facial hair and unfortunate POC accessories. But Matteo committed a major fashion faux-pas and possible Rule #80 violation. Or does he deserve a pass for not having zipped up the jersey prior to his counter attack in recognition of its devastating effectiveness?

  6. @Philonius

    How about today’s Giro finish? Etixx put the dope slap on young signor Moser…. and he’d be a classy rider were it not for the excessive facial hair and unfortunate POC accessories. But Matteo committed a major fashion faux-pas and possible Rule #80 violation. Or does he deserve a pass for not having zipped up the jersey prior to his counter attack in recognition of its devastating effectiveness?

    I think he gets a pass given the incredible amount of V he must have laid down in the last couple of kms. That last climb was nasty and he’s not a small lad. After the climb it was all about catching Moser and maintaining momentum. One of the best finishes I’ve seen in ages.

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