The word Bike shall never be preceded with the letter E.  That is blasphemy!

This rule should be withdrawn immediately. There is photographic evidence of The Prophet MERCKX riding his winter training bike with such an item attached to it.

This also applies for cycling legend Fausto COPPI. No doubt there is similar evidence concerning other cycling Gods.

I’m writing this on my hospital bed recovering from a leg surgery and being pumped full of pain medication. Therefore if I’m going to get bitch slapped by anybodies comments, I hereby claim temporary insanity and will don white socks and claim immunity from “The Keepers of the Cog”. Have a nice day everyone and don’t forget to enjoy your ride.

#96 The only battery to be in contact with your bike is the one used to power your computer (rule#74). Kapish?

Rule #96 // Zip up your jersey for Zoom calls.

In order to respect your jersey and the words on it, a rider’s jersey must be fully zipped before joining a Zoom call. No matter how hot or tired you are, or how much you want your coworkers to know you’re a master of Rule #5, zip it up. And follow Rule #22 during said call. Always. Your coworker won’t understand the cap. If your tan lines are sharp, you may show them on the call. If not, do not show your arms (see Rule #7). But, only wear a cycling jersey to a call before, during, or after an outdoor ride.

I hope everyone is happy and healthy!?

Why is there an S-1 ?   Doesn’t #4 apply ?

The rules have changed over time:

Rule #8 used to mandate pristine white cloth handlebar tape.

Rules 27 & 28 about sock length and color has changed,

Rule #51 did not exist until 2005 or so…

And what happened to the rule about “no dirty chain grease on your calf( cat 5 tatoo’s )”

and “how to manage your spare tubular tire”?

Looking for  a 1970’s or 80’s version of this list..

Thanks!

That was an Amazon link to Lance Armstrong’s book, I think. Must have died after Lance litterally became a Twatwaffle.

“Respect the jersey.Championship and race leader jerseys must only be worn if you’ve won the championship or led the race.” Exception to the rule: I proudly wear the mythical “Hell of the West” Leader’s Jersey every time I’m on my 1985 Specialized Allez, because I’m the forever American Flyer.

We don’t need rules about Cyclocross. These rules are about cycling. Cyclocross isn’t cycling.

Same thing goes for @Steve Hiscock e-Bikes are not bikes. They are motor vehicles.

@Richard Sunglass legs on the outside of helmet straps has always been stupid, and this is one case where The Rules are flat out wrong. Sunglass legs must without exception be worn underneath helmet straps, as one must never remove their eyewear until after their helmet is removed. Removing your eyewear before removing your helmet is morally equivalent to removing your bibs before removing your leg warmers.

says We don

Rule #11

the Citroen AX launched in 1986. Mrs Kelly was leaning against my Citroen BX.

how about

No E bikes no exceptions. See Rule #5

– there is already a rule about defiling a ride with a swim or run, but such depraved behaviour shall not be encouraged by offering kudos to any activity other than a ride.

– no Kudos shall be given for spin classes, roller/turbo sessions, smart trainer rides. Kudos is reserved for people who go out on a real bike in the dark in the rain.

– those that ride spin classes, rollers/turbos or smart trainers during daylight or when the weather is good must be un-followed

– the only acceptable pictures to post on a ride are:

1. Pictures of bike

2. Pictures of view from summit/col altitude marker, so long as bike is also included

3. Pictures of people only when holding bikes. The one exception is when photographed on a race podium

Don’t police the girls. We will hurt you.

(The 32 exception is because of outfits that don’t have pockets.)

Stay SEXY and don’t get murdered.

-Buck

Hi guys

I have a problem with Rule #55. Since I’m in Switzerland and live up the hill I always must first ride down the mountain before I can ride up the mountain…

3

Perhaps you could move house. The bike comes first :)

In great honor of the rules and thy who live up to them, I guide the uninitiated and try to contribute as is in my capabilities to bring a positive influence on those who ride. In this journey, I feel a great friction from society due to cyclists who are aggressive and do not obey general laws. These incidents have caused negative image to -and behaviour towards those who live up by the rules, the law and social interaction.
In order to properly guide the uninitiated, and retain those who push their Strava to much that they cause incidents and injuries a following addition is suggested.

A rule to live up by, that incorporates general road law and social awareness with the goal to have a normal friendly social image of the average sport cyclists. Conceptual text can be:

Rule #XXX Obey The Law
Thy shan’t offend the law of the roads, meaning to give priority to the other users of the road when applicable, especially pedestrians and other cyclists. This gentleman gesture will be done with eye contact and a friendly yet firm nod. If one is not sure or aware of the local road precedences, caution is to be taken in terms of speed and priorities will be arranged by eye contact and physical gestures.
Excemption on the local law applies to the speed limits once one knows the road and takes into account other road users. Brakes do not need to be applied in case of pedestrians, merely pass the pedestrians from the other side of the road.

Offcourse the text is open for feedback, restructuring/correction. Goal is to positively strenghten the image of proper race cyclists and keep other road users happy with the Velominati out there.

You are obviously fine if you have ridden up on the last ride.

I have a problem with Rule #55. Since I’m in Switzerland and live up the hill I always must first ride down the mountain before I can ride up the mountain. So you should mention this in the rules as a exception. Theoretically I could park the bike somewhere down the hill so I don’t violate this rule but if I do this I think I would violate several other rules since I would need to walk up an down! And I really do not want to experience the terrible feeling of walking up a hill! I think the only situation where running up a hill would be acceptable is when you are in a cyclocross race.

I politely and hereby request that Rule #37 be modified] from the “because I said so” reason[/mentality] to this (i.e. the following):

https://www.bikeradar.com/road/gear/article/aero-road-helmet-dos-and-donts-48455/

Apparently, it’s more Aerodynamic. (And it would make sense [though] [too]: The straps of your cycling-helmet aren’t flapping-around in the wind [resisting the wind] when they are being held-down by the cycling-sunglasses’s stems).

https://www.outsideonline.com/sites/default/files/migrated-images_parent/migrated-images_13/Merckx525_DauphineLibere197.jpg

I agree. Could you believe the shorts they were wearing? My daughter, who is a champion rower, also says they should not be allowed on the Concept 2 ergs until they learn how to row correctly

I could not agree more!! Did you see the shorts they were wearing to ride? Second thought, my daughter, a champion rower says they should not be allowed to use the Concept 2 rowing machines until they learn the proper rowing motion

With FSA releasing “super-compact” cranks (48/36 and 46/32, for-Merckx-sake!), I think a rule acknowledging the sovereignty of the 53/39 standard road double is well worth considering. Maybe even an addendum on the minimum upper limit and maximum lower limit of acceptable gear ratios (certainly a 1:1 ratio on the small chainring is beyond the pale…).

With (FSA now releasing) super compact cranksets (48/32 and 46/30, for-Merckx-sake), having already succumbed to compact and semi-compact, seems a rule defending the standard 53/39 road double is in order.

At a minimum, though lacking in levity, “the smallest cog in your cassette may not have more teeth than your small chainring.”

Perhaps with an addendum on minimal acceptable high gearing (4.5?) and maximum acceptable low gearing (1.0? 0.9? 0.8?).

just one note regarding saddle bags: Mikel Landa, Chris Froome take saddle bags on their training rides! So you think you are better than Landa or Froome than why you are not riding the TDF, Vuelta or Giro you d*?mF,§8k

Best Regards to all (unts

Mother’s day may be on a Sunday but you should still attend the Sunday morning group ride (unless you still live with your Mum)

“Decals, on the other hand, are not only permissible, but extremely pro.”

Does this refer to Name and flag decals?

Under no circumstances should the angle that the stem makes with the ground exceed that of the top tube.”

or

“Stems should be selected so as to be as close as possible to parallel with the top tube. Under no circumstances should the angle that the stem makes with the ground exceed that of the top tube.” 

Addendum to the slammed stems rule:

“Under no circumstances should one compliance with Rule #45 be at the expense of violating Rule # [upturned stems rule].”

Rule #40 // Tires are to be mounted with the label centered over the valve stem.

Pro mechanics do it because it makes it easier to find the valve. You do this because that’s the way pro mechanics do it.

===================================================

When you speak of “pro” mechanics I assume you’re referring to bike shop mechanics? .Because most pro team mechanics are mounting tubulars. And obviously they do not choose where the label is located.

Is this a clincher only site or something? If so, allow me to suggest a way to make it more proper with an additional rule for us cool guys who reject clinchers.

#96// Spare tubular will be carried in the center jersey pocket or secured under the saddle with a leather toe clip only.

I’m considering these for my next pair:

https://www.zennioptical.com/p/sport-sunglasses/7078?skuId=707818

Awesome. Let us know how you get on!

@Scott Reno

Rudy Project make prescription inserts for their glasses. I know someone who uses them for skiing and finds them really good.

0

I have used Rudy ocular inserts for many years and am very happy with them.

Thanks, they have a US equivalent at a good price.  One of the reasons I need to spend so much is I have a special requirements that most manufacturers of prescription sunglasses can’t meet, but maybe companies who manufacture inserts can.  I will look into inserts. They certainly in my price range.

Thanks, honestly in my early days, before I knew the rules, I broke Rule #54.  Fortunately, I was informed of the rules and have worked hard to adhere to them.

I’ve got a pair of Salice eyewear with a prescription insert (these). They’re not the most aesthetically pleasing, but about half the price of the next cheapest option. They’re comfortable and the non-prescription lenses are interchangeable for day/night usability.

Fair warning, there was a slight manufacturing issue with mine in that one of the clear non-prescription lenses was cut wrong and the dealer (the one I linked to) were singularly useless at sending a replacement, so I’m getting one cut at my local opticians. The dealer assures me they will refund the cost of getting it cut once I provide them with a receipt.

Hope that helps.

@Teocalli

@Scott Reno

Oh – and I think the needs of seeing where you are going lends quite a bit of latitude to Rule #36

Oh, and, yeah, what he said!

Oh – and I think the needs of seeing where you are going lends quite a bit of latitude to Rule #36

Rudy Project make prescription inserts for their glasses.  I know someone who uses them for skiing and finds them really good.

My current helmet came with a tinted half face shield.  I could not find any guidance in the rules regarding shields.  Can I wear the shield over my regular prescription glasses until I can afford to buy new prescription eyewear.

In addition to the above, are there inexpensive (≤ $150) prescription eyewear options out there?  The ones I had worked better than any others I have tried, but were nearly $300.

It all falls down when you have more than one bike.  Then it becomes either a) expensive b) a right royal PITA.

@Rick

@mulebeatsdrums

@Rick

These might be great, but are they compliant with Rule #29, Rule #30, and Rule #31?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9smZu8jP4Q

I’m not convinced by the bidon cage appendages for tools or CO2, mainly based on having had group rides interrupted after canisters and/or pumps have fallen off comrades’ bidon cages. That said, the addendum to Rule #30 could be read to allow for them, especially as it is arguably a more elegant solution than gaffer tape:

It is acceptable to gaffer-tape a mini-pump to your frame when no C02 cannisters are available and your pockets are full of spare kit and energy gels.

Additionally, one could argue that these are simply “converted bidon cages”, thus complying with Rule #31 as well:

If absolutely necessary, in a converted bidon in a cage on bike

Since there is no connection to the saddle, I think all items are Rule #29 compliant.

As far as the chain tool inside the bars and the pump inside the seatpost, they initially sound clever, but I can’t help thinking they’d be far more accessible in pockets, so ultimately kinda pointless. Maybe.

0

 

I believe they are technically compliant with the Rules, but perhaps they violate the spirit of the Rules. I keep my tubes and pump in a baggie inside my jersey pocket but would like to free up some room. I sometimes feel like a pack mule.

I’d go along with that, yeah. I keep tubes, multitool, chainlink, levers, emergency patches and pump (the tiny and astonishingly powerful Lezyne Road Drive S) in a little pouch I fashioned for myself out of black gaffer tape, modeled after the Lezyne Caddy Sack. Purely by accident, I managed to make it in such a shape that there’s still some room in my middle pocket for other flat-ish items like phone or slim wallet.

The pack mule similitude only kicks in for me in warmer weather when the non-breathable nature of gaffer tape gives me a gross sweat patch in the small of my back.

@mulebeatsdrums

@Rick

These might be great, but are they compliant with Rule #29, Rule #30, and Rule #31?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9smZu8jP4Q

I’m not convinced by the bidon cage appendages for tools or CO2, mainly based on having had group rides interrupted after canisters and/or pumps have fallen off comrades’ bidon cages. That said, the addendum to Rule #30 could be read to allow for them, especially as it is arguably a more elegant solution than gaffer tape:

It is acceptable to gaffer-tape a mini-pump to your frame when no C02 cannisters are available and your pockets are full of spare kit and energy gels.

Additionally, one could argue that these are simply “converted bidon cages”, thus complying with Rule #31 as well:

If absolutely necessary, in a converted bidon in a cage on bike

Since there is no connection to the saddle, I think all items are Rule #29 compliant.

As far as the chain tool inside the bars and the pump inside the seatpost, they initially sound clever, but I can’t help thinking they’d be far more accessible in pockets, so ultimately kinda pointless. Maybe.

0

I believe they are technically compliant with the Rules, but perhaps they violate the spirit of the Rules. I keep my tubes and pump in a baggie inside my jersey pocket but would like to free up some room. I sometimes feel like a pack mule.

@Rick

These might be great, but are they compliant with Rule #29, Rule #30, and Rule #31?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9smZu8jP4Q

I’m not convinced by the bidon cage appendages for tools or CO2, mainly based on having had group rides interrupted after canisters and/or pumps have fallen off comrades’ bidon cages. That said, the addendum to Rule #30 could be read to allow for them, especially as it is arguably a more elegant solution than gaffer tape:

It is acceptable to gaffer-tape a mini-pump to your frame when no C02 cannisters are available and your pockets are full of spare kit and energy gels.

Additionally, one could argue that these are simply “converted bidon cages”, thus complying with Rule #31 as well:

If absolutely necessary, in a converted bidon in a cage on bike

Since there is no connection to the saddle, I think all items are Rule #29 compliant.

As far as the chain tool inside the bars and the pump inside the seatpost, they initially sound clever, but I can’t help thinking they’d be far more accessible in pockets, so ultimately kinda pointless. Maybe.