Look Pro: The V Tenets of the Casually Deliberate

Chiapucci, Big Mig, some dude, Riis, and Bugno: class is in session.

A Velominatus gives the impression of having been born on the bike; the connection between rider and machine is so deeply entrenched that one can hardly draw the line where one ends and the other begins. There is an air of relaxed precision that is part innate and part learned through countless hours devoted to the craft of riding a bicycle batshit fast.

A Pedalwan will be quick to seek emulation of this characteristic, and in the spirit of Rule #3, it is our duty to impart upon you the five tenets of the Casually Deliberate.

First, it is crucial that under no circumstances do you permit yourself to smile. If you are about to win the Tour de France for the first time, it is acceptable to momentarily smirk but expect to be met with raised eyebrows by your peers should you allow this to occur. Also don’t scowl because no one likes a crabby pants.
Casual people are cool people, and cool people wear shades. If it worked for Axl Rose, it can work for you. Also, sunglasses are handy for covering up any redness in your eyes that you got from crying through the end of Playing for Keeps.
Leaning on extended limbs is a guaranteed way to impart an air of relaxation, a crucial element to being Casually Deliberate. This effect is heightened the faster you are going. When passing a slower rider, ensure you accelerate to a speed at least 10% faster and pass them while riding on the tops or hoods with elbows locked. They will have no choice but to be super impressed by the sound of your Awesome.
Being Casually Deliberate means this isn’t your first rodeo. Whether laying it down in a corner, flatting out of the lead group, or crossing the line with no one else in the photo, act like you’ve been there before.
If you have crashed and are bleeding, this is the perfect time to pretend like you hardly noticed. Especially if there are cute members of the opposite sex around. Save poking at your wound and whimpering for the privacy of a remote bathroom devoid of any surveillance equipment.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

KW says:

Nov 8 2013 at 5:51 am

@frank

I would give becoming a switch-hitter serious thought if I found out Fabian had a crush on me.

I think we've all learned something very telling about Frank here today.

Though, to be fair, I can't say I blame him.
PeakInTwoYears says:

Nov 8 2013 at 6:34 am

@Mikael Liddy

It's true those are two handsome devils, and The Badger remains capable of controlling the podium in his own way. But Bugno rules on pure style. To see him exit a helo with his fantastic hair would make me start thinking like Frank thinks when he thinks of Fabian.
Buck Rogers says:

Nov 8 2013 at 8:55 am

@Chris

Way too much smiling here to be Casually Deliberate but this photo made me laugh.

This is a GREAT photo. What post-race is this?
frank says:

Nov 8 2013 at 10:24 am

@Buck Rogers

@Chris

Way too much smiling here to be Casually Deliberate but this photo made me laugh.

This is a GREAT photo. What post-race is this?

It is a great photo, but also highlights everything thats wrong with the new speed suits.
frank says:

Nov 8 2013 at 10:30 am

@wiscot

@frank

You're still gonna look like this after the race:

(Top marks, though, for cleaning the legs and not sweating the kit.)

Sorry, going to have to repost these pics. That last one of Ms Vos is truly one o the greatest cycling pictures I've ever seen. My admiration for her knows no bounds . Where does the "no smile" talk come from? I read an interview where she said that even if she finishes 2nd or 3rd (a rare occurrence, admittedly) she smiles on the podium to show respect to the winner and not seem like a sore loser. That's class. Also, the fact that as a world champ, she is sponging herself down with one foot in a bucket speaks volumes for her humble nature. And I think she's wiping down with her socks by the looks of things. Sigh . . .

Very classy rider and a very classy move to be all smiles on the podium. Nothing wrong with smiling (I'm known to do a bit of that myself), but it is not Casually Deliberate.

For example. which of the three looks out of place?
frank says:

Nov 8 2013 at 10:34 am

Talk about Casually Deliberate, check out the cornering here.
unversio says:

Nov 8 2013 at 11:02 am

@frank 300 meter mark forward looks amazingly V.
piwakawaka says:

Nov 8 2013 at 12:09 pm

@frank

@wiscot

@frank

You're still gonna look like this after the race:

(Top marks, though, for cleaning the legs and not sweating the kit.)

Sorry, going to have to repost these pics. That last one of Ms Vos is truly one o the greatest cycling pictures I've ever seen. My admiration for her knows no bounds . Where does the "no smile" talk come from? I read an interview where she said that even if she finishes 2nd or 3rd (a rare occurrence, admittedly) she smiles on the podium to show respect to the winner and not seem like a sore loser. That's class. Also, the fact that as a world champ, she is sponging herself down with one foot in a bucket speaks volumes for her humble nature. And I think she's wiping down with her socks by the looks of things. Sigh . . .

Great clip, we are lucky to see one of the greatest cyclist's of ALL time, the chasing bunch were all looking around goin' we're only twelve how are we gonna beat her? The way she rides a bike is sublime, the power, skill and the sign of the truly great, the "time" she has in each moment is outstanding and no apologies for the repost above!
sthilzy says:

Nov 8 2013 at 11:38 pm

@frank

Talk about Casually Deliberate, check out the cornering here.

And here, ZdenÄ›k Å tybar uses his cyclocross skills to open up the line around a corner,
Chris says:

Nov 9 2013 at 1:11 am

@Buck Rogers

@Chris

Way too much smiling here to be Casually Deliberate but this photo made me laugh.

This is a GREAT photo. What post-race is this?

It's from this years British Road Championships in Glasgow, Cav took the win with Millar in third.

A soon as I'd hit submit post I realised I should have captioned it. "Dave and Mark think you're all taking yourselves too seriously with this no smiling nonsense..."