I like both photos, PRO or NeoPRO! Makes me wanna toss a Bidon across the room.

Ron = Tom Steels’ pseudonym?

Yikes. I almost pulled the trigger on two of these as my brain didn’t process three places in front of the decimal.

http://www.ebay.com/itm/NOS-COCA-COLA-TOUR-DE-FRANCE-LARGE-WATER-BOTTLE-BIDON-MADE-BY-TA-IN-FRANCE-/271317657221?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item3f2bcae685

I was thinking that someone would have to be doing coke to knowingly, intentionally purchase a bidon for $130.00… and then I noticed that is a “sale” price, and it is regularly $150!  I’m glad the reality sunk in before you pulled the trigger!

@minion

This is what Straya does to Kiwis

Is that Froomie’s Stava avatar?

I thought an avatar didn’t have to a selfie?

This is what Straya does to Kiwis

Wasted 10mins of my time watching some famous online US Trainer opine that his strava didn’t run properly and so he is sure he would have got a KOM, but missed out. Boo fucking hoo, and proof that Stravaphrenic riders are not isolated to any particular country..

I am guessing that with ultra high-energy people, we have learned to amp our energy down a bit, but the alcohol lowers our inhibitions so we forget to play it as cool as we normally do – resulting in a net gain in energy. But its still less energy than if we’d let ourselves rock as hard as we want to all the time.

Indeed, inebriation starts at the higher order thought processes and works its way down the various systems of the body, from the complex/behavioural to the simple/automatic. As you suggest, the first to alter will be the thought or habits managing your behaviour,  so as you say you lose your inhibitions and get louder. You could say you actually become more like yourself, as you are less reserved and more likely to act from the heart, rather than the brain. Intoxication gradually works its way down, interrupting the smooth operation of simple activities like walking, looking straight, or talking. Until you get to the base systems, lose conciousness and shit yourself, which I have known several people to do on occassion…

This is what Straya does to Kiwis

Is that Froomie’s Stava avatar?

@meursault “…problems arose, ensued, were overcome”

+1!

@James

God that was a good post. Frank you’re a rare talent.

That’s a terrifying thought, but on the other hand, I’m not sure it would be good if there were like me around. Those in close contact with me would agree. Anyway, thanks for the compliment.

I was just explaining to a pal last night, over Old Fashioneds, how alcohol, though a depressant, gives me more energy, not less.

Very intrigued by #4 here. It both opens a door, then slams it shut. Ya might wanna get that bright jersey, but ya might get a real serious backhand across the mouth. Hmm.

I think chemically speaking booze is a depressant and it is physically impossible that it gives you more energy – even though I feel the same way.

I am guessing that with ultra high-energy people, we have learned to amp our energy down a bit, but the alcohol lowers our inhibitions so we forget to play it as cool as we normally do – resulting in a net gain in energy. But its still less energy than if we’d let ourselves rock as hard as we want to all the time.

@Buck Rogers

@Ron

Ha, the Boonen photo pops up! That is really damn awesome. And, one of those things that makes me feel very small, but part of something very big.

How many people have searched “Coca Cola bidon.” About 72, world-wide. But heck, I’m pretty familiar with that photo and I “know” the guy who snapped it. That’s damn cool.

Best Tommeke photo in existence. But did one of the Keeprs Tour guys take it? I thought it was a pro photo from the race?

You are correct; that is a Pro photo. This is the photo I took that poor ol’ Ron got confused with.

Holy fuck! I better start payin’ attention ’round here before I fuck it up worse.

I like both photos, PRO or NeoPRO! Makes me wanna toss a Bidon across the room.

@VeloSix

@Ron

I was just explaining to a pal last night, over Old Fashioneds, how alcohol, though a depressant, gives me more energy, not less.

Very intrigued by #4 here. It both opens a door, then slams it shut. Ya might wanna get that bright jersey, but ya might get a real serious backhand across the mouth. Hmm.

Alcohol generally charges me up. Turns me angry face into a happy face, makes me louder, happier and I laugh at everything.

However, I confident there is a DHT (Depressant Hydration Threshold) or “K-C2H6O Max” (the rate at which your Kidneys can filter Charismatic Poison from your blood) where I am perpetually in the research phase of defining said threshold…

So far, I have determined, it is the precise moment at which the energizing effect of Post-Ride Recovery Drinks immediately ceases, and the depressant effect take hold. Symptoms are as follows; nothing is funny anymore, everything is too loud, you must hold onto something to keep everything else from moving, and precise mapping of the nearest fluid receptacles begins to take place.

Otherwise defined as the moment when perception moves from long distance road cycling to track cycling.

Of course, everything is going around in circles, but maybe….. I’ve just exceeded my K-C2H6O Max

@Ron

Ha, the Boonen photo pops up! That is really damn awesome. And, one of those things that makes me feel very small, but part of something very big.

How many people have searched “Coca Cola bidon.” About 72, world-wide. But heck, I’m pretty familiar with that photo and I “know” the guy who snapped it. That’s damn cool.

Best Tommeke photo in existence. But did one of the Keeprs Tour guys take it? I thought it was a pro photo from the race?

You are correct; that is a Pro photo. This is the photo I took that poor ol’ Ron got confused with.

@Buck Rogers

Fuck me, looks like I picked a bad week to start reading the articles.

Awesome pic, though! big Mig is just perfect there.

Those cranks? 182.5mm. I shit you not.

Fuckin’ BigMig … that Dude can roll, man.

Ha, the Boonen photo pops up! That is really damn awesome. And, one of those things that makes me feel very small, but part of something very big.

How many people have searched “Coca Cola bidon.” About 72, world-wide. But heck, I’m pretty familiar with that photo and I “know” the guy who snapped it. That’s damn cool.

Best Tommeke photo in existence.  But did one of the Keeprs Tour guys take it?   I thought it was a pro photo from the race?

@Ron

I was just explaining to a pal last night, over Old Fashioneds, how alcohol, though a depressant, gives me more energy, not less.

Very intrigued by #4 here. It both opens a door, then slams it shut. Ya might wanna get that bright jersey, but ya might get a real serious backhand across the mouth. Hmm.

Alcohol generally charges me up. Turns me angry face into a happy face, makes me louder, happier and I laugh at everything.

However, I confident there is a DHT (Depressant Hydration Threshold) or “K-C2H6O Max” (the rate at which your Kidneys can filter Charismatic Poison from your blood) where I am perpetually in the research phase of defining said threshold…

So far, I have determined, it is the precise moment at which the energizing effect of Post-Ride Recovery Drinks immediately ceases, and the depressant effect take hold. Symptoms are as follows; nothing is funny anymore, everything is too loud, you must hold onto something to keep everything else from moving, and precise mapping of the nearest fluid receptacles begins to take place.

Otherwise defined as the moment when perception moves from long distance road cycling to track cycling.

I was just explaining to a pal last night, over Old Fashioneds, how alcohol, though a depressant, gives me more energy, not less.

Very intrigued by #4 here. It both opens a door, then slams it shut. Ya might wanna get that bright jersey, but ya might get a real serious backhand across the mouth. Hmm.

Alcohol generally charges me up.  Turns me angry face into a happy face, makes me louder, happier and I laugh at everything.

However, I confident there is a DHT (Depressant Hydration Threshold) or “K-C2H6O Max” (the rate at which your Kidneys can filter Charismatic Poison from your blood) where I am perpetually in the research phase of defining said threshold…

So far, I have determined, it is the precise moment at which the energizing effect of Post-Ride Recovery Drinks  immediately ceases, and the depressant effect take hold.  Symptoms are as follows;  nothing is funny anymore, everything is too loud, you must hold onto something to keep everything else from moving, and precise mapping of the nearest fluid receptacles begins to take place.

How many people have searched “Coca Cola bidon.” About 72, world-wide. But heck, I’m pretty familiar with that photo and I “know” the guy who snapped it. That’s damn cool.

Very intrigued by #4 here. It both opens a door, then slams it shut. Ya might wanna get that bright jersey, but ya might get a real serious backhand across the mouth. Hmm.

@Mike_P

@withoutanyhills

I am wondering, as I try to follow the rules, which ones are the most important for me to stick too? Or is it a case of once one is broken you may as well give up?

As Capt Barbossa said “the code is more what you’d call “guidelines” than actual rules”. Welcome aboard the Black Pearl !

You, sir, are a scholar and a gentleman. Perhaps one of the most under-rated movie series. Well, the fourth one sucked, but the first three are fantastic. Johnny Depp is the kind of demented fuck that makes me laugh like someone just told a potty joke and I’m still six.

“Why is the rum always gone…”

Meursault nods approvingly.

@brett

@marko

I thought I knew you, man…

Some of the most genuine “can we still be besties” arguments Marko and I have had have centered on bidon size and color. Quite literally, the bottle has nearly torn us apart.

One day, one day, that 750ml bidon will bump Marko’s top tube or seat tube as he is reaches for it during a race — then the hulking bidon will be laying in the road as he continues with no water at all.

@marko

I thought I knew you, man…

Some of the most genuine “can we still be besties” arguments Marko and I have had have centered on bidon size and color.  Quite literally, the bottle has nearly torn us apart.

Hey you guys, google image “coca cola bidon” and look what pops up in the number 2 slot.

What do you think I used to make sure what I was looking at was the real thing (pun intended)?

@VeloSix

@withoutanyhills

I am wondering, as I try to follow the rules, which ones are the most important for me to stick too? Or is it a case of once one is broken you may as well give up?

Well, I adhere to the Masturbation Principle

Care to explain?

Study the Lexicon

Hey you guys, google image “coca cola bidon” and look what pops up in the number 2 slot.

Yikes. I almost pulled the trigger on two of these as my brain didn’t process three places in front of the decimal.

http://www.ebay.com/itm/NOS-COCA-COLA-TOUR-DE-FRANCE-LARGE-WATER-BOTTLE-BIDON-MADE-BY-TA-IN-FRANCE-/271317657221?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item3f2bcae685

What you need is a local second hand store that has no idea what they’re selling…

http://www.velominati.com/the-rules/#comment-287754

@Barracuda

Its a constant battle – Garmin on/Garmin Off, EPMS off / Lezyne Caddy Sack on

Does not compute. Well, there’s a flicker when the Garmin part comes up, but as for the EMPS, the processor overloads.

Sadly @frank it was my failed attempt at sarcasm, obviously did not work !

Ill now go back to sitting in the corner

I thought I knew you, man…

Yikes. I almost pulled the trigger on two of these as my brain didn’t process three places in front of the decimal.

http://www.ebay.com/itm/NOS-COCA-COLA-TOUR-DE-FRANCE-LARGE-WATER-BOTTLE-BIDON-MADE-BY-TA-IN-FRANCE-/271317657221?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item3f2bcae685

They’re big bidons anyway. Worthless.

@meursault

@withoutanyhills

I am wondering, as I try to follow the rules, which ones are the most important for me to stick too? Or is it a case of once one is broken you may as well give up?

All of them. But remember Grasshopper, the rules are the path. Tread carefully.

Finally.

@unversio

@withoutanyhills

I am wondering, as I try to follow the rules, which ones are the most important for me to stick too? Or is it a case of once one is broken you may as well give up?

Use a shock collar.

HA! Perfect!

Fuck me, looks like I picked a bad week to start reading the articles.

Awesome pic, though! big Mig is just perfect there.

Those cranks? 182.5mm. I shit you not.

@withoutanyhills

I am wondering, as I try to follow the rules, which ones are the most important for me to stick too? Or is it a case of once one is broken you may as well give up?

As Capt Barbossa said “the code is more what you’d call “guidelines” than actual rules”. Welcome aboard the Black Pearl !

You, sir, are a scholar and a gentleman. Perhaps one of the most under-rated movie series. Well, the fourth one sucked, but the first three are fantastic. Johnny Depp is the kind of demented fuck that makes me laugh like someone just told a potty joke and I’m still six.

Three out of five for me.

It was a quiz, right?

I don’t even really get it, but it made me laugh for the first time in a few days. +1 badge to you, mate.

(I laugh at a lot of jokes I don’t get or didn’t understand.)

@withoutanyhills

I am wondering, as I try to follow the rules, which ones are the most important for me to stick too? Or is it a case of once one is broken you may as well give up?

@wiscot

@withoutanyhills

I am wondering, as I try to follow the rules, which ones are the most important for me to stick too? Or is it a case of once one is broken you may as well give up?

Welcome! They’re all kinda important but the goal is to adhere, or to aspire to adhere, to as many as possible. Never give up, just find your comfort level.

For example: I live in SE Wisconsin. Weather has been awful lately but Saturday looks like low 30s before snow comes in. A Rule #5 and #9 ride is on the cards.

On the other hand, I violate #24 and count rides in miles, not kilometers,. #28 is nonsense – socks should always be white. #31 I use an EPMS because I have a deep-seated aversion to overloading jersey pockets stemming from childhood trauma of seeing wool and acrylic jerseys streched past the saddle because of too much shit in the rear pockets. I use the smallest possible EPMS I can cram my stuff into. Oh, and Rule #90 – try getting up some of the nasty wee hills ariound here in the big ring. Good luck with that.

Other than that, I think I’m pretty compliant and ride with a clear conscience!

Jesus, you two. Two words, Masturbation Principle.

For fucks sake.

The noob is forgiven on account of ignorance (welcome, @withoutanyhills) – but you? Et tu, Wiscote? 

I’m hoping you can make the trip out to one of the book signing events we’re brainstorming for the US release so I can smack some sense into you about that EPMS.

#5 Spot on!!!

Was on a ride with the wife a bit ago and had a nasty fall due to a hidden pot hole due to leaves. I hate wearing a helmet, and when ever she is involved of course I wear a helmet. Her first comment “thank god you had a helmet on”, my response “I didn’t hit my head”, as I bled from half my body and my tyre quickly deflated. I hate hearing I told you so…

Speaking of helmets and CAPS how about that V-Cap!

We are working on the design! This is a delicate process which accelerates with the application of alcohol until so much alcohol has been applied that all the good work gets undone. Two steps forward and all that.

Soon.

@ChrissyOne

Jesus, were you drunk when you wrote this? Of course. I have tremendous respect for that.
We need to have a drink some time. This can happen. It should be simple to arrange. I’m usually drinking. In fact I’m drinking right now.
Thank you for making me laugh.

No comment, except to say that when one returns home from a particularly stressful day and fixes himself a martini to unwind, one should remember that said day was sufficiently stressful to prohibit eating lunch.

Luckily, I finished the draft before starting on the wine.

Its a constant battle – Garmin on/Garmin Off, EPMS off / Lezyne Caddy Sack on

Does not compute. Well, there’s a flicker when the Garmin part comes up, but as for the EMPS, the processor overloads.

If there’s one thing that being part of this community has lead me to, it’s to a state of really thinking far more self-critically about all aspects of my cycling life. For that I thank you.

Thank you for that; on the flip side, this community has brought me to taking that same behavior and applying it to my life in general – not just Cycling. And for that, I thank YOU.

“The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them all into your life as a Velominatus is a never-ending struggle waged between form and function as we continue along The Path towards transcension.”

THIS! Inspired and inspiring. Would The Keepers consider adding it (or some variation) to the top of The Rules page?

Part of it came from Keeper Jim in his typical sort of concise summation. But that’s a great suggestion to add it to The Rules to help set the tone; it might reduce how much hate mail we get.

We discussed this at Cogclave today. We got distracted and bitched about our Rule-related hate mail instead of deciding on whether or not to add it. Stay tuned.

@Frank It looks like you might be right about nobody reading the article. Ergo,

Of course this is a community of Cycling disciples of the Highest Order. But Maybe…

Dammit.  How’d you get ahold of one of my “selfies”?

@withoutanyhills

I am wondering, as I try to follow the rules, which ones are the most important for me to stick too? Or is it a case of once one is broken you may as well give up?

Welcome! They’re all kinda important but the goal is to adhere, or to aspire to adhere, to as many as possible. Never give up, just find your comfort level.

For example: I live in SE Wisconsin. Weather has been awful lately but Saturday looks like low 30s before snow comes in. A Rule #5 and #9 ride is on the cards.

On the other hand, I violate #24 and count rides in miles, not kilometers,. #28 is nonsense – socks should always be white. #31 I use an EPMS because I have a deep-seated aversion to overloading jersey pockets stemming from childhood trauma of seeing wool and acrylic jerseys streched past the saddle because of too much shit in the rear pockets. I use the smallest possible EPMS I can cram my stuff into. Oh, and Rule #90 – try getting up some of the nasty wee hills ariound here in the big ring. Good luck with that.

Other than that, I think I’m pretty compliant and ride with a clear conscience!

wiscot, apropos of nothing, your Scottish has been showing a lot in recent comments.  I like it.  It makes me think of Scotty from Star Trek (old school Scotty, not the new guy, even though old school Scotty was not Scottish, but Canadian). 

‘Cause, you know, that’s the only exposure to the Scottish people that this insulated Midwestern boy ever had.

See, it’s a lonely existence, this insular world of Beers. Never quite feeling like you fit, or that others ‘get’ what you write. That you shed riders while the true hardmen still disappear around the corner. Riding solo in the tree lined lanes with only a hyperactive devil on your shoulder for company. Attempts at dry humour, tinfoil hat theorising, oversharing of unresearched heresay, laying down a big effort on the keys only to be summarily ignored. Is it because the post, and by inference Beers as an internet construct, sucked? Or, my preference, it is because each post is as close to literary and philosophical perfection, no reply could parallel.

What I do know, is that having a phrase in the lexicon, and to have it used in my very own giddy grown man as teenager type stars in your eyes moment, has validated all of what I have attempted, achieved, and failed at here. Goals my friends, goals.

This, I can show my children, and my children’s children.

Merry fucking Christmas to you all!

@withoutanyhills

I am wondering, as I try to follow the rules, which ones are the most important for me to stick too? Or is it a case of once one is broken you may as well give up?

Well, I adhere to the Masturbation Principle

Care to explain?

Yikes. I almost pulled the trigger on two of these as my brain didn’t process three places in front of the decimal.

http://www.ebay.com/itm/NOS-COCA-COLA-TOUR-DE-FRANCE-LARGE-WATER-BOTTLE-BIDON-MADE-BY-TA-IN-FRANCE-/271317657221?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item3f2bcae685

Good call. That bidon is an imposter! I’ve NEVER seen a picture of a Coca Cola bottle like that being used by a pro in the Tour. They always use the smaller bottles because, of course, they just stick their hand up for a fresh one instead of wondering where the hell the next gas station is to refill their bottles. If someone pays over $100 for that, I pity the fool.

I am wondering, as I try to follow the rules, which ones are the most important for me to stick too? Or is it a case of once one is broken you may as well give up?

Use a shock collar.

Of course Big Mig could have pulled that cap down a bit so the bill may have shaded his eyes slightly. But maybe it wouldn’t have looked completely awesome, perched high atop his head. He is pulling a Saronni right there.

I can’t believe that thing can stay put atop his dome chasing LeMan

I am wondering, as I try to follow the rules, which ones are the most important for me to stick too? Or is it a case of once one is broken you may as well give up?

Well, I adhere to the Masturbation Principle

I am wondering, as I try to follow the rules, which ones are the most important for me to stick too? Or is it a case of once one is broken you may as well give up?

All of them. But remember Grasshopper, the rules are the path. Tread carefully.

http://www.ebay.com/itm/NOS-COCA-COLA-TOUR-DE-FRANCE-LARGE-WATER-BOTTLE-BIDON-MADE-BY-TA-IN-FRANCE-/271317657221?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item3f2bcae685

Awesome pic, though!  big Mig is just perfect there.

I am wondering, as I try to follow the rules, which ones are the most important for me to stick too? Or is it a case of once one is broken you may as well give up?

Rule #1

Of course this is a community of Cycling disciples of the Highest Order. But Maybe…

I am wondering, as I try to follow the rules, which ones are the most important for me to stick too? Or is it a case of once one is broken you may as well give up?

As Capt Barbossa said “the code is more what you’d call “guidelines” than actual rules”.  Welcome aboard the Black Pearl !

I am wondering, as I try to follow the rules, which ones are the most important for me to stick too? Or is it a case of once one is broken you may as well give up?

Welcome! They’re all kinda important but the goal is to adhere, or to aspire to adhere, to as many as possible. Never give up, just find your comfort level.

For example: I live in SE Wisconsin. Weather has been awful lately but Saturday looks like low 30s before snow comes in. A Rule #5 and #9 ride is on the cards.

On the other hand, I violate #24 and count rides in miles, not kilometers,. #28 is nonsense – socks should always be white. #31 I use an EPMS because I have a deep-seated aversion to overloading jersey pockets stemming from childhood trauma of seeing wool and acrylic jerseys streched past the saddle because of too much shit in the rear pockets. I use the smallest possible EPMS I can cram my stuff into.  Oh, and Rule #90 – try getting up some of the nasty wee hills ariound here in the big ring. Good luck with that.

Other than that, I think I’m pretty compliant and ride with a clear conscience!

yea, it was, hell I got a zero

chapeau

Shunryu Suzuki~roshi

It was a quiz, right?

Was on a ride with the wife a bit ago and had a nasty fall due to a hidden pot hole due to leaves. I hate wearing a helmet, and when ever she is involved of course I wear a helmet. Her first comment “thank god you had a helmet on”, my response “I didn’t hit my head”, as I bled from half my body and my tyre quickly deflated. I hate hearing I told you so…

Speaking of helmets and CAPS how about that V-Cap!

Glad Ive got some direction when I stray though !

If there’s one thing that being part of this community has lead me to, it’s to a state of really thinking far more self-critically about all aspects of my cycling life. For that I thank you.

THIS!  Inspired and inspiring.  Would The Keepers consider adding it (or some variation) to the top of The Rules page?

GART…LOL

Thanks Frank

On a related note, I just got another xtranormal cartoon from a buddy. “Cycling Explained” Maybe old but new to me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47cGzu6-q40

With regard to the wee video, of course it makes us seem crazy, but maybe, when you compare it to a lot of other things, it’s not so bad. The chick mentions football, baseball and golf. Analyze those three sports to their core constituents and they’re just as daft. To wit: football. Played by  mixture of skinny and obese men in a game inherently designed to cause significant head trauma and early onset dementia in many cases, lorded over by a governing body who adopt the same approach as the tobacco companies did (cancer, really? Who knew?) in adopting an ostrich-like posture with regard to risk. Throw in for good measure a “settlement” that lets the NFL off the hook for the hundreds of unknown cases that will come down the pike. Thrown in an equally strong avoidance of any serious drug testing too. And all the players wear lycra pants.

Baseball and golf? Hitting wee balls with sticks. $10K for a bike? Joined a golf club or played a few rounds lately? If golfers played rounds as often as most of us ride, $10K a year would be a bargain.

Of course it’s important to be honest and transparent with your VMH about your Cycling expenditures. Of course it reflects negatively on us and our two-wheeled brethren and sistrethen when we get really, visibly, audibly pissed off at drivers who act like ignorant/assholic douchenozzles. Of course it’s bad form to sandbag a weaker rider, or a friend who’s having an off day, simply for the pleasure of watching him suffer. It just goes on. Thanks for the grins this morning. (And Louis CK kicks audience ass. I love how he calls the audience out mid-way through that routine.) 

Thanks Frank

On a related note, I just got another xtranormal cartoon from a buddy. “Cycling Explained”  Maybe old but new to me. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47cGzu6-q40