The Janus of Suffering

Time for a different kind of suffering.

I came strongly into the Fall, stronger than in other years thanks to a late-season objective to do well at my first Heck of the North gravel classic in Minnesota. I was light and I had built good power and endurance by riding the steep gravel roads that pepper the North Cascades and suffering through brutal interval sessions on the windswept stretch of road along Shilshole Bay. I was good at hurting myself.

With the race behind me and the first of the next season’s objectives many months away, I entered into what in many ways is my favorite time of year to ride: Winter. The months between objectives at that time of year provides a kind of serenity on the bike that is hard to find when goals are looming. Focus shifts away from building a sharpness in the muscles and towards putting in long base kilometers at steady speeds. There is no need to push hard on the climbs, just slip into a nice tempo and explore the beautiful quiet of a steady rhythm.

With that serenity comes a different kind of suffering; not so acute but where the cold winds and rains harden the mind against the long hours of discomfort and somatic pain. Simply staying on the bike all day, riding from sun up to sun down, is suffering in itself. The willpower and discipline needed to hold the course and do the Work is itself an entirely different but very real kind of suffering – even if the suffering is not intense at any given moment.

But as Winter slowly loosens it grip and the days grow longer, so too do the objectives for the coming season loom nearer. It is time to pull myself out of steady rhythms and once again build towards the sharp sensations of a hard effort. I find I’ve nearly forgotten how to do it; my body resists the signals coming from the mind; its first impulse is to employ the Scotty Principle, I’m givin’ ‘er all she’s got captain! It seems my mind has forgotten that whenever it gets that message, there is always another 10 or 20 percent left to to be taken from the body.

Janus is the Roman god of beginnings and transitions; he has two faces – one looking to the past and one to the future. I’m transitioning from one kind of suffering into another; the work I did yesterday will make tomorrow’s ride a little bit better. My mind navigates through the mixed signals it receives, and the body responds and adapts. To transition is to explore the boundary between two seemingly separate entities. Science explores the boundary between ignorance and knowledge; art explores the boundary between reality and imagination; Cycling explores the boundary between the mind and body.

We are Cyclists. The rest of the world merely rides a bike.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

Teocalli says:

Mar 19 2014 at 5:28 am

@VeloSix My sympathy to those who suffer from Asthma, there are many things in life that are optional. Breathing is not one of them.
frank says:

Mar 19 2014 at 10:14 pm

@VeloSix

@frank

@Steve-o

@Doug We cyclists seek to suffer in order to overcome the suffering. Non-cyclists don't get it. It's what puts us above the rest.

This.

Yes, this is the epitome of what I hate to love about cycling!

Speaking of this suffering.... there was some talk a while back, maybe perhaps on several occasions, about asthma. What I thought my being a pussy, and needing further meditation on Rule V, was actually asthma (brought on by the thing I was doing, exercising). My doctor has assisted me in figuring out this heinous death-is-imminent symptom, and now my suffering has shifted to a new category. So, at least I can breathe while I suffer, without the need to bring my steed to a stand still.

Its not a joke, asthma is a serious shit. I almost died as an infant from this, and it continues to hit me as an adult, although I've learned how to control it (for me its a reaction not to exercise but to environment.) Training in the cold months, even with an inhaler, is like strength training for the warm months when I don't need to dilate my trachea anymore!
ChrisO says:

Mar 20 2014 at 12:09 am

@frank

@VeloSix

@frank

@Steve-o

@Doug We cyclists seek to suffer in order to overcome the suffering. Non-cyclists don't get it. It's what puts us above the rest.

This.

Yes, this is the epitome of what I hate to love about cycling!

Speaking of this suffering.... there was some talk a while back, maybe perhaps on several occasions, about asthma. What I thought my being a pussy, and needing further meditation on Rule V, was actually asthma (brought on by the thing I was doing, exercising). My doctor has assisted me in figuring out this heinous death-is-imminent symptom, and now my suffering has shifted to a new category. So, at least I can breathe while I suffer, without the need to bring my steed to a stand still.

Its not a joke, asthma is a serious shit. I almost died as an infant from this, and it continues to hit me as an adult, although I've learned how to control it (for me its a reaction not to exercise but to environment.) Training in the cold months, even with an inhaler, is like strength training for the warm months when I don't need to dilate my trachea anymore!

Slightly tangential but did you know cats can have asthma... mine's seems to have shown up when I sent him to London. Guess the dry air of Dubai had hidden it.

He is a very biddable cat and I would do anything for him but I don't fancy trying to get an inhaler on.
VeloSix says:

Mar 20 2014 at 5:36 am

@frank

@VeloSix

@frank

@Steve-o

@Doug We cyclists seek to suffer in order to overcome the suffering. Non-cyclists don't get it. It's what puts us above the rest.

This.

Yes, this is the epitome of what I hate to love about cycling!

Speaking of this suffering.... there was some talk a while back, maybe perhaps on several occasions, about asthma. What I thought my being a pussy, and needing further meditation on Rule V, was actually asthma (brought on by the thing I was doing, exercising). My doctor has assisted me in figuring out this heinous death-is-imminent symptom, and now my suffering has shifted to a new category. So, at least I can breathe while I suffer, without the need to bring my steed to a stand still.

Its not a joke, asthma is a serious shit. I almost died as an infant from this, and it continues to hit me as an adult, although I've learned how to control it (for me its a reaction not to exercise but to environment.) Training in the cold months, even with an inhaler, is like strength training for the warm months when I don't need to dilate my trachea anymore!

I have never had the attacks like my Grandmother a father both would have. On a few occasions as a kid I had mild attacks brought on by mowing the grass, and a few times as an adult during fall allergy season which amounted to a bit of wheezing.

The experiences on the bike were much different. They certainly made it a struggle to breathe, but more so from the perspective I just couldn't take in the deep breathes I could while at rest. So it was lots of short rapid breathes. It also made it near impossible to recover once hitting a certain threshold. If I experienced this on a climb, there was never a way to ease up and recover, I had to just stop. Humiliating when riding with my race buddies on a race recon ride.

I've now had two rides where I've used my inhaler pre ride; as instructed by my doctor. Once on a climbing day, and the other a weekly club training ride. Both very hard days in the saddle, each for their own respects. I really thought I was being a pussy, and felt I just don't have the motor for this. It makes me such a different rider (and I don't mean this sarcastic in any way) but I've prepared myself to be asked "What are you taking?" by the guys I ride with regular, who after the two rides, must notice the sudden difference.
The Oracle says:

Mar 20 2014 at 6:25 am

I "grew out" of my asthma as a kid, but then like an idiot I hit the cancer sticks for a few years during college, and now I'm stuck with occassional symptoms during cold weather of when I get sick. Advair works for keeping it under control for me. For my family it's a way of life--I have it, my wife has it, and 3/4 kids have it. I kinda forget how terrifying it can be if you don't really know what's going on!
VeloSix says:

Mar 20 2014 at 9:23 am

@The Oracle I became rather fixated on my HR monitor once I figured out what my red zone was. It was definitely a rev limiter for me. It was nice to realize that paying little attention to it Tuesday (on what is likely the hardest I ever rode), and later review the ride to realize how hard I pushed it, but still recovered without being spit out the back. There is a new joy brewing in regards to my riding.
top-serialy.sk says:

Apr 11 2014 at 1:34 am

The firest of these films, Tintin and the Mystery of the
Golden Fleece (1961), is available online, complete but in French without subtitles
as Tintin et la toison d'or (IMDB has Tintin et le myst.

The first point for alll Swedish singles to
consider involves the need to avoid being tooo needy or even trying to promise the world to someone.
Usually online stores offer discounts on alpmost aall
products and yoou can really save some big bucks placing your order online.
G'rilla says:

Aug 17 2014 at 4:24 pm

Heck of the North is going to hurt me this year. But I guess that happens no matter how much training one has done.