Categories: V-Announcements

The 2013 Anti-V Award

Roubaix photo-Jakob Kristian Sørensen

We reflect on another year of cycling; who has been naughty and who has been nice. The rusty chain award used to go to the biggest tool of the year but that has been folded into the Anti-V award. In years past the rusty chain award usually went to the present day dopers. Multi-year winners like Danilo “triple threat” Di Luca would now be eligible for the Anti-V award. To finally earn a lifetime suspension which should have been issued after his last infraction, that is something. To bring down a whole team because of his cretino behavior, that’s impressive. How many riders, coaches and support staff on Vini-Fantini Selle Italia lose a living because of his bad brain? But really, enough of him and his 2013 doping colleagues, let us leave them behind.

For those who did not read the Freddy Maertens recent interview, please do so before 2013 expires. It’s important to be reminded how tough he and his competitors were. They were racing more and being paid much much less. We have to admire how much Rule #5 was fueled on passion alone. This brings us to another personality in the running this year, Abandy Schleck.

We cannot criticize an injured rider. One can only compete at the professional level with mind and body working in harmony. Abandy seems to be suffering on both sides of the equation. We can criticize him for his lack of professionalism before he was injured. If you are a terrible time trialist and you want to win a stage race that might include time trials, you really should be working at that, even if it slows your awesome climbing talent. Contador was an impressive stage racer when he beat Cancellara in a TdF TT. Ha! When Freddy says today’s pros are paid too much and are too soft, he was winking at the interviewer and using international sign language to spell out “Abandy”.

Specialized threw itself in the running with it’s abysmal treatment of Dan Richter and Café Roubaix Bicycle Studio. CEO Mike Sinyard pulled Specialized out of the top spot for the Anti-V award with a personal apology to Dan and a promise to do business differently in the future. We take people at their word, let’s move on.

What really made us crazy was the notion that corporations have some legal rights to stop anyone to using the word Roubaix. Roubaix is a town in which the world’s most awesome velodrome decides the world’s most awesome bike race. Trek has a trademark on Alpe d’Huez and Specialized (and Fuji) have one for Roubaix? How clever of you. Well, keep it to yourself, leave the cycling community out of it. Cyclists made these places iconic, not lawyers so if want to have a slap fight over trademarks, do it in the privacy of your law offices. If you would like to do this in public, please make your argument in a bar in Northern France, in early April. You are not welcome to ride the secteurs of Roubaix on two wheels. Piss off. And yes, trademark lawyers, We are looking at you, you have earned both our incredulity and the 2013 Anti-V award.

View Comments

  • @unversio

    But remember: If you have a good idea and believe in it "” trust it and trademark it.

    Totally. And protect your trademark and possibly be a dick about it (keeping Rule #43 in mind at all times). Your IP is sacred and people stealing it is complete shit.

    People work hard for their ideas, they put blood, sweat and tears into it - and often invest their own hard-earned cash into getting it off the ground. Innovative minds deserve to lay claim to their creations.

    But as Gianni says, Roubaix is a city - a city made sacred to Cyclists by those who have raced and ridden over the savage roads to get there. Like I said before, it's an insult to the sport that someone should trademark that.

  • @PeakInTwoYears

    I like this choice. When trademarks stop being an incentive to create and start becoming a cudgel for corporations to whack small companies (cycling companies, for buggertifuck's sake!) half to death with, that is Anti-V.

    Word. There is a company here in Seattle that buys up obscure, obvious patents that no one gives two fucks about and then sets about the Internet litigating anyone who infringes on them.

    Cunts, if ever there was a proper use of the word.

  • Patent attorneys are the YJA-wearing audax riders of the legal profession. Most of them (in Commonwealth countries anyway) are usually engineers too.

    Thats why they are usually found in their own firms - not even other lawyers want to work with them

  • @scaler911

    Well done. Well done indeed. Seemed a big year for "anti V". Teams folding, guys not getting contracts, douchbag tour de save face, this:

    But all in all my biggest disappointment was not winning that freaking Veloforma for the TdF VSP. All Contador had to do was sit in 2nd at the end. Damnit.

    Wow. That is just fucking unbelievable. Full-on doping for a MASTERS 60+ category FUCKING RACE?

    For some time, I seriously considered quitting my job to go back full time to ski racing in the hopes of making the 2014 Olympics and contesting the 50k.

    Then I realized all these dickheads are doping like made and no way am I going to uproot my and my VMH's life, only to be beaten by a doper.

    (If nothing else, it was a good excuse not to throw everything at a goal and fail, but in my heart I seriously considered, delusional as it may have been.)

  • @frank

    @scaler911

    Well done. Well done indeed. Seemed a big year for "anti V". Teams folding, guys not getting contracts, douchbag tour de save face, this:

    But all in all my biggest disappointment was not winning that freaking Veloforma for the TdF VSP. All Contador had to do was sit in 2nd at the end. Damnit.

    Wow. That is just fucking unbelievable. Full-on doping for a MASTERS 60+ category FUCKING RACE?

    For some time, I seriously considered quitting my job to go back full time to ski racing in the hopes of making the 2014 Olympics and contesting the 50k.

    Then I realized all these dickheads are doping like made and no way am I going to uproot my and my VMH's life, only to be beaten by a doper.

    (If nothing else, it was a good excuse not to throw everything at a goal and fail, but in my heart I seriously considered, delusional as it may have been.)

    It's scary just how widespread doping is. I wouldn't even put this guy on the lower rungs - at least he was competing in a national championship. I know a woman in her 40 s riding in obscure local races who does it and I reckon any race I line up in has several people who've at least dabbled.

    How much good it does them is maybe questionable but it's  easy to get hold of so they think they might as well give themselves a few hits of testosterone or HGH to help their training.

    on the Anti-V award I sort of agree, although I think we need to make a distinction between the concept of trademarking something using an iconic name and the application and methods used to protect it. Steve Hed presumably has a trademark on Ardennes wheels but he isn't going around getting biblical on people, nor does Chevy with Tahoe for example.

  • Fantastic. The award goes to an entire class of scumbags. Patent protection is extremely important but this is well deserved.

    Biggest disappointment for me this year was watching Tom Boonen suffer another series of setbacks after thrashing himself at the front of Paris Nice to regain some form, closely followed by the demise of Euskaltel Euskadi. We are going to miss those basque boys, a lot!

  • About time....William Shakespeare saw this one coming a long time ago!

    All:
    God save your majesty!

    Cade:
    I thank you, good people"”there shall be no money; all shall eat
    and drink on my score, and I will apparel them all in one livery,
    that they may agree like brothers, and worship me their lord.

    Dick:
    The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.

    Cade:
    Nay, that I mean to do.

    Henry The Sixth, Part 2 Act 4, scene 2, 71-78

    -  Now we have passed judgement, when does the cleansing begin?

  • A worthy award for worthless people...

    @Deakus Ha ha, I'd forgotten that one....

    Happy New Year All!

  • @Marcus

    Patent attorneys are the YJA-wearing audax riders of the legal profession. Most of them (in Commonwealth countries anyway) are usually engineers too.

    Careful there...being audax riders would imply that they possess copious quantities of V, high pain thresholds, and an intimate relationship with The Man With The Hammer, all of which I suspect they lack.

    The YJA or a variant thereof is required by RUSA rules here in the states, and we follow the fucking rules around here.

  • I was eagerly awaiting this year's announcement.  The winner seemed a foregone conclusion, but I like the nuance.  Well-reasoned and warranted - looking to the larger issue exemplified and amplified by one of many legal malefactors.  I wholeheartedly concur.

Share
Published by

Recent Posts

Anatomy of a Photo: Sock & Shoe Game

I know as well as any of you that I've been checked out lately, kind…

6 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Men’s World Championship Road Race 2017

Peter Sagan has undergone quite the transformation over the years; starting as a brash and…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Women’s World Championship Road Race 2017

The Women's road race has to be my favorite one-day road race after Paris-Roubaix and…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Vuelta a España 2017

Holy fuckballs. I've never been this late ever on a VSP. I mean, I've missed…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Clasica Ciclista San Sebastian 2017

This week we are currently in is the most boring week of the year. After…

7 years ago

Route Finding

I have memories of my life before Cycling, but as the years wear slowly on…

7 years ago