Velominati Super Prestige: La Vuelta a España 2013

The Long Sock Brigade hits the Angliru

Seriously. Is it almost September? This was not the agreement, this was supposed to be an endless summer. And all you A-Holes down there in the Antipodes are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, enjoying longer days and shorter nights. I don’t need to tell you where you can take that, but it’s dark and it smells. I have no patience for the changing of seasons when it means I’m going to be benching Number One and busting out the headlight.

I’m not going to lie to you; the Vuelta is my least-favorite race of the year. Part of it is the parcours-it’s hard enough to get excited about flat sprint stages in the Tour, but these stages in central Spain that go down a straight freeway for hours are just too much for my brain to find interesting. Hey look! There’s another shrub! Wasn’t he a President at one point? There will be some redeeming points of the race, I’m sure, and the shit-steep climbs they dot along the route are certain to be highlights of the season. But after you do the math, this is the grand tour with the weakest field, the worst route, and-most damning-the strongest signal that Summer is coming to an end on the half of the world that matters.

I can’t be bothered to sort out the route and what stages are going to matter, but I’ll tell you this: for the last few years, the winner of the Vuelta VSP has won the VSP GC. A few years back, @Marcus complained that he only lost the VSP because @Nate used the second Rest Day Swaps to his advantage to take the win, but after heavily increasing the penalties, he kept losing. Typical of a man who posts photos of his todger on a Cycling site. (@Nate, your win was clean according to the VCI.) Speaking of which, at worst the Vuelta will distract from Pat McQuaid and his bid for losing the UCI Presidency.

He has a strong lead in the 2013 Anti-V competition, however.

Check the start list, get your picks in, and don’t Delgado this baby; it could be your ticket to the shop apron. Bon chance.

[vsp_results id=”26944″/]

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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  • Great ride by Horner today! Gotta take your chances when they are here. Still early days but this look like it could be an interesting race if the Spaniards all watch each other like hawks allowing the Nibalis and Horners of the world to take advantage. At this point in his career, Horner's got nothing to lose. Just makes you wonder what he might have done in his prime if he'd been on a different team and more freedom.

  • @Buck Rogers

    @Erik

    At some point back in this thread of comments, someone asked, "Why pick Horner?"

    Well. That's why.

    Course I also picked Sammy Sanchez and I don't think that is happening.

    Still do not see him Top 10 by the finish but I could VERY easily be wrong!

    I'm always happy to eat crow (I said "why pick Horner"), but it's a dish best served at the end of a three-week race, not on Day 3. Good win from Horner today, but let's be honest: nobody took up the challenge to chase"”they all sat up and looked at each other rather than try to bring him back. I suspect the main contenders will be happy with Horner in the leader's jersey, since he's no threat whatsoever and it means their teams don't have to chase. I agree with Buck: a top ten will be an excellent result, but I don't see it. There are just too many guys who are hungry and stronger.

    Of course, what do I know: I thought one of those guys would be Betancur, but he lost another 13 minutes today...

  • @Steampunk

    @Buck Rogers

    @Erik

    At some point back in this thread of comments, someone asked, "Why pick Horner?"

    Well. That's why.

    Course I also picked Sammy Sanchez and I don't think that is happening.

    Still do not see him Top 10 by the finish but I could VERY easily be wrong!

    I'm always happy to eat crow (I said "why pick Horner"), but it's a dish best served at the end of a three-week race, not on Day 3. Good win from Horner today, but let's be honest: nobody took up the challenge to chase"”they all sat up and looked at each other rather than try to bring him back. I suspect the main contenders will be happy with Horner in the leader's jersey, since he's no threat whatsoever and it means their teams don't have to chase. I agree with Buck: a top ten will be an excellent result, but I don't see it. There are just too many guys who are hungry and stronger.

    Of course, what do I know: I thought one of those guys would be Betancur, but he lost another 13 minutes today...

    All true.... so true.  Of course, the fewer people who picked Horner the better. It is like a long breakaway. To the daring go the spoils. Fewer points to share.

    Not that my VSP is paying off.  Went with Evans. Fail. Don't even remember my Giro pick. Fail.

  • @Buck Rogers

    @Erik

    At some point back in this thread of comments, someone asked, "Why pick Horner?"

    Well. That's why.

    Course I also picked Sammy Sanchez and I don't think that is happening.

    Still do not see him Top 10 by the finish but I could VERY easily be wrong!

    Chris Horner + Top Ten =  Not Normal

  • Not a dull moment so far and with a "shit-steep" climb to the finish today it's been great racing. And who would have thought that Brajkovic, Roche and Horner would have been 1st over the line on the opening 3 stages. Viva La Vuelta.

  • @eenies

    Not a dull moment so far and with a "shit-steep" climb to the finish today it's been great racing. And who would have thought that Brajkovic, Roche and Horner would have been 1st over the line on the opening 3 stages. Viva La Vuelta.

    Correction - the shit-steep climb is not to the finish, it's with 34km to go and the Mirador is only a 3rd cat at an average of 13% with a max of 29%!!!

  • @eenies

    @eenies

    Not a dull moment so far and with a "shit-steep" climb to the finish today it's been great racing. And who would have thought that Brajkovic, Roche and Horner would have been 1st over the line on the opening 3 stages. Viva La Vuelta.

    Correction - the shit-steep climb is not to the finish, it's with 34km to go and the Mirador is only a 3rd cat at an average of 13% with a max of 29%!!!

    Yes.  Last year a stage finished there with J-Rod winning the Stage. 

    And WTF is up with Golden show boy Sammy Sanchez???  Now he stopped to have his shoes fixed.  Maybe if he ditched his fuck'in "ohhhh, I won a gold medal in some olympics before you were born" shit shoes he'd be in the lead group!

  • @Buck Rogers

    @eenies

    @eenies

    Not a dull moment so far and with a "shit-steep" climb to the finish today it's been great racing. And who would have thought that Brajkovic, Roche and Horner would have been 1st over the line on the opening 3 stages. Viva La Vuelta.

    Correction - the shit-steep climb is not to the finish, it's with 34km to go and the Mirador is only a 3rd cat at an average of 13% with a max of 29%!!!

    Yes. Last year a stage finished there with J-Rod winning the Stage.

    And WTF is up with Golden show boy Sammy Sanchez??? Now he stopped to have his shoes fixed. Maybe if he ditched his fuck'in "ohhhh, I won a gold medal in some olympics before you were born" shit shoes he'd be in the lead group!

    More eyeballs out riding from Faboo...just timed his move a little too late.  Good win from Moreno.

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