Velominati Super Prestige: La Vuelta a España 2013

The Long Sock Brigade hits the Angliru

Seriously. Is it almost September? This was not the agreement, this was supposed to be an endless summer. And all you A-Holes down there in the Antipodes are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, enjoying longer days and shorter nights. I don’t need to tell you where you can take that, but it’s dark and it smells. I have no patience for the changing of seasons when it means I’m going to be benching Number One and busting out the headlight.

I’m not going to lie to you; the Vuelta is my least-favorite race of the year. Part of it is the parcours-it’s hard enough to get excited about flat sprint stages in the Tour, but these stages in central Spain that go down a straight freeway for hours are just too much for my brain to find interesting. Hey look! There’s another shrub! Wasn’t he a President at one point? There will be some redeeming points of the race, I’m sure, and the shit-steep climbs they dot along the route are certain to be highlights of the season. But after you do the math, this is the grand tour with the weakest field, the worst route, and-most damning-the strongest signal that Summer is coming to an end on the half of the world that matters.

I can’t be bothered to sort out the route and what stages are going to matter, but I’ll tell you this: for the last few years, the winner of the Vuelta VSP has won the VSP GC. A few years back, @Marcus complained that he only lost the VSP because @Nate used the second Rest Day Swaps to his advantage to take the win, but after heavily increasing the penalties, he kept losing. Typical of a man who posts photos of his todger on a Cycling site. (@Nate, your win was clean according to the VCI.) Speaking of which, at worst the Vuelta will distract from Pat McQuaid and his bid for losing the UCI Presidency.

He has a strong lead in the 2013 Anti-V competition, however.

Check the start list, get your picks in, and don’t Delgado this baby; it could be your ticket to the shop apron. Bon chance.

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frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

VeloVita says:

Aug 27 2013 at 8:45 am

@Buck Rogers

@eenies

@eenies

Not a dull moment so far and with a "shit-steep" climb to the finish today it's been great racing. And who would have thought that Brajkovic, Roche and Horner would have been 1st over the line on the opening 3 stages. Viva La Vuelta.

Correction - the shit-steep climb is not to the finish, it's with 34km to go and the Mirador is only a 3rd cat at an average of 13% with a max of 29%!!!

Yes. Last year a stage finished there with J-Rod winning the Stage.

And WTF is up with Golden show boy Sammy Sanchez??? Now he stopped to have his shoes fixed. Maybe if he ditched his fuck'in "ohhhh, I won a gold medal in some olympics before you were born" shit shoes he'd be in the lead group!

I can only imagine what we'd be subjected to if Vino was still in the peloton...it could only go downhill from here:
Deakus says:

Aug 27 2013 at 8:57 am

@VeloVita

@Buck Rogers

@eenies

@eenies

Not a dull moment so far and with a "shit-steep" climb to the finish today it's been great racing. And who would have thought that Brajkovic, Roche and Horner would have been 1st over the line on the opening 3 stages. Viva La Vuelta.

Correction - the shit-steep climb is not to the finish, it's with 34km to go and the Mirador is only a 3rd cat at an average of 13% with a max of 29%!!!

Yes. Last year a stage finished there with J-Rod winning the Stage.

And WTF is up with Golden show boy Sammy Sanchez??? Now he stopped to have his shoes fixed. Maybe if he ditched his fuck'in "ohhhh, I won a gold medal in some olympics before you were born" shit shoes he'd be in the lead group!

I can only imagine what we'd be subjected to if Vino was still in the peloton...it could only go downhill from here:

I suspect he burnt his bridges on trying to Buy a Win last time round when he subsequently did not pay up!
VeloVita says:

Aug 27 2013 at 12:29 pm

@Deakus

I thought there were rumours circulating that he paid/attempted to pay off Uran for the Olympic win, but maybe I'm just making that up.
Deakus says:

Aug 27 2013 at 12:44 pm

@VeloVita

@Deakus

I thought there were rumours circulating that he paid/attempted to pay off Uran for the Olympic win, but maybe I'm just making that up.

I heard it was over 100,000 euros but that he then renegged but i cant remember where i heard it...
Mike_P says:

Aug 27 2013 at 1:09 pm

@Deakus

@VeloVita

@Deakus

I thought there were rumours circulating that he paid/attempted to pay off Uran for the Olympic win, but maybe I'm just making that up.

I heard it was over 100,000 euros but that he then renegged but i cant remember where i heard it...

If memory serves me right, he was accused of paying Alexandr Kolobnev â‚¬150k for his 2010 Liege Bastogne Liege win. Apparently emails between Vino and Kolobnev gave evidence of the deal and Vino's later back tracking on the deal. Nothing dodgy about dear old Vino was/is there.
VeloVita says:

Aug 27 2013 at 2:02 pm

@Mike_P

@Deakus

@VeloVita

@Deakus

I thought there were rumours circulating that he paid/attempted to pay off Uran for the Olympic win, but maybe I'm just making that up.

I heard it was over 100,000 euros but that he then renegged but i cant remember where i heard it...

If memory serves me right, he was accused of paying Alexandr Kolobnev â‚¬150k for his 2010 Liege Bastogne Liege win. Apparently emails between Vino and Kolobnev gave evidence of the deal and Vino's later back tracking on the deal. Nothing dodgy about dear old Vino was/is there.

Yeah, the Uran Olympic rumours were in addition to the LBL stuff i thought. Regardless, my point was really more about how obnoxious his gold bike with gold Nokon cables was and that I wonder how long he would have milked that cow if he was still riding since Sanchez is still apparently rocking the gold shoes from his 2008 win.
Buck Rogers says:

Aug 28 2013 at 11:41 am

Man, I am learning some new names in the sprinter category at this race. Definitely not the usual suspects at the "sprint" finishes.

I am REALLY surprised that Sagan did not do La Vuelta as opposed to the US races. I guess he has his eyes on the Worlds but he could have possibly taken the points jersey at this race this year. But, actually, it will probably be a climber that finishes with the points jersey here this year, eh?
the Engine says:

Aug 28 2013 at 12:29 pm

@VeloVita

@Buck Rogers

@eenies

@eenies

Not a dull moment so far and with a "shit-steep" climb to the finish today it's been great racing. And who would have thought that Brajkovic, Roche and Horner would have been 1st over the line on the opening 3 stages. Viva La Vuelta.

Correction - the shit-steep climb is not to the finish, it's with 34km to go and the Mirador is only a 3rd cat at an average of 13% with a max of 29%!!!

Yes. Last year a stage finished there with J-Rod winning the Stage.

And WTF is up with Golden show boy Sammy Sanchez??? Now he stopped to have his shoes fixed. Maybe if he ditched his fuck'in "ohhhh, I won a gold medal in some olympics before you were born" shit shoes he'd be in the lead group!

I can only imagine what we'd be subjected to if Vino was still in the peloton...it could only go downhill from here:

Is it just me or does this look like an inflatable bicycle?
the Engine says:

Aug 28 2013 at 12:30 pm

@Buck Rogers

Man, I am learning some new names in the sprinter category at this race. Definitely not the usual suspects at the "sprint" finishes.

I am REALLY surprised that Sagan did not do La Vuelta as opposed to the US races. I guess he has his eyes on the Worlds but he could have possibly taken the points jersey at this race this year. But, actually, it will probably be a climber that finishes with the points jersey here this year, eh?

Sagan in the US = big payday perhaps? Cannondale are a US team aren't they?
Buck Rogers says:

Aug 28 2013 at 12:56 pm

@the Engine Yeah, good point. That must be playing a part.