Velominati Super Prestige: La Vuelta a España 2013

The Long Sock Brigade hits the Angliru

Seriously. Is it almost September? This was not the agreement, this was supposed to be an endless summer. And all you A-Holes down there in the Antipodes are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, enjoying longer days and shorter nights. I don’t need to tell you where you can take that, but it’s dark and it smells. I have no patience for the changing of seasons when it means I’m going to be benching Number One and busting out the headlight.

I’m not going to lie to you; the Vuelta is my least-favorite race of the year. Part of it is the parcours-it’s hard enough to get excited about flat sprint stages in the Tour, but these stages in central Spain that go down a straight freeway for hours are just too much for my brain to find interesting. Hey look! There’s another shrub! Wasn’t he a President at one point? There will be some redeeming points of the race, I’m sure, and the shit-steep climbs they dot along the route are certain to be highlights of the season. But after you do the math, this is the grand tour with the weakest field, the worst route, and-most damning-the strongest signal that Summer is coming to an end on the half of the world that matters.

I can’t be bothered to sort out the route and what stages are going to matter, but I’ll tell you this: for the last few years, the winner of the Vuelta VSP has won the VSP GC. A few years back, @Marcus complained that he only lost the VSP because @Nate used the second Rest Day Swaps to his advantage to take the win, but after heavily increasing the penalties, he kept losing. Typical of a man who posts photos of his todger on a Cycling site. (@Nate, your win was clean according to the VCI.) Speaking of which, at worst the Vuelta will distract from Pat McQuaid and his bid for losing the UCI Presidency.

He has a strong lead in the 2013 Anti-V competition, however.

Check the start list, get your picks in, and don’t Delgado this baby; it could be your ticket to the shop apron. Bon chance.

[vsp_results id=”26944″/]

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

Jaundo says:

Sep 3 2013 at 10:06 am

VSP PICKS (1st Rest Day Swaps):

1. Valverde
2. Rodriguez
3. Nibali
4. Horner
5. Basso
xyxax says:

Sep 3 2013 at 11:15 am

@Buck Rogers

By the way, you're all nancies if you rest day swap!

You know, just calling people out for making the logical decision to play by the rules as opposed to adhereing to some completely irrational notion that is majorly lacks V to change your picks at any point.

No changing picks here, BABY! I'm going down with my ship loaded with Slammin Sammy and Henao!!!

I've the same two anchors around my neck and there they'll stay. Bad picks are like bad tattoos.

BTW, I have a mom, 2 aunts, a cousin, and a landlord named Nancy. Please don't make any more.
Nate says:

Sep 3 2013 at 12:19 pm

VSP PICKS (1st Rest Day Swaps):

1. Horner
2. Nibali
3. Henao
4. Sammy sammy sanchez
5. Betancur
imakecircles says:

Sep 3 2013 at 12:57 pm

No picks changes for me despite having Henao in there at 4th and selecting Basso as my sole old guy.

Have to say I enjoy seeing Horner smile his way to the top of the climb whilst crushing it. Enjoy the work, indeed.
Deakus says:

Sep 3 2013 at 1:18 pm

@imakecircles

No picks changes for me despite having Henao in there at 4th and selecting Basso as my sole old guy.

Have to say I enjoy seeing Horner smile his way to the top of the climb whilst crushing it. Enjoy the work, indeed.

Move along...there is nothing to see here....no changes either, rest day swaps are like ordering a Vindaloo...it seemed like a good idea at the time!
Bianchi Denti says:

Sep 3 2013 at 1:43 pm

Big risk = bg reward.

After over-thinking and making possibly my worst VSP picks ever, I have to go for broke and dump Sammy and Sergio. Purito and Nibbles in.

I still think Nibbles is training and won't go for broke to win. He also seems to be running out of teammates when the road gets steep.

VSP PICKS (1st Rest Day Swaps):

1. Valverde
2. Joaquim Rodriguez
3. NIbali
4. Majka
5. Betancur
wiscot says:

Sep 3 2013 at 2:51 pm

Anyone else see this great quote from Rodriguez yesterday: "It's not that we were slow, it's that he was faster than us," It's level of profundity makes it an instant classic and one that can be used by all Velominati. "No honey, I didn't lose the race, he just finished first."
Deakus says:

Sep 3 2013 at 3:14 pm

@wiscot

Anyone else see this great quote from Rodriguez yesterday: "It's not that we were slow, it's that he was faster than us," It's level of profundity makes it an instant classic and one that can be used by all Velominati. "No honey, I didn't lose the race, he just finished first."

ergo....i was not the second winner...i was the first loser!!
Mikael Liddy says:

Sep 3 2013 at 3:28 pm

@Buck Rogers

By the way, you're all nancies if you rest day swap!

You know, just calling people out for making the logical decision to play by the rules as opposed to adhereing to some completely irrational notion that is majorly lacks V to change your picks at any point.

No changing picks here, BABY! I'm going down with my ship loaded with Slammin Sammy and Henao!!!

Testify brother!

VSP PICKS (1st Rest Day Swaps):

1. Dirty Sammy
2. Purito
3. His Nibs
4. Don't dream it's over
5. Dan Martin
LA Dave says:

Sep 3 2013 at 3:59 pm

Can't help but laugh at all the posts chastising others for making rest day swaps. Like there is some great honor in riding bad picks to the end just because you were dumb enough to pick them in the first place. That's like saying Merckx would have ridden on a broken spoke just because it was the wheel he started the race on.

My 3 to 5 picks have been an utter disappointment thus far and I was a dope to make the selections: Betancur 1:58 down (that's one hour and fifty eight minutes) and Kreuziger 48 minutes down have made Henao look like he actually has a shot at only 7:08 back.

Because of this I'm in for some swaps. Horner and Dirty look like they have the chops this time, so I'm taking a flyer that they'll slot in just right for me. At least they have a chance and if not, I'm not much worse off than I am now.

Just think of it as my VSP version of a Jens Voigt breakaway up Mont Ventoux or L'Alpe D'Huez. it's probably not going to happen but at least he's trying. The big difference is instead of yelling "Shut up legs" I'm yelling "Shut up brain" and swapping like there's no tomorrow.

VSP PICKS (1st Rest Day Swaps):

1. Nibbles the Shark
2. Purito
3. Horner
4. Valverde
5. Henao