Velominati Super Prestige: La Vuelta a España 2013

The Long Sock Brigade hits the Angliru

Seriously. Is it almost September? This was not the agreement, this was supposed to be an endless summer. And all you A-Holes down there in the Antipodes are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, enjoying longer days and shorter nights. I don’t need to tell you where you can take that, but it’s dark and it smells. I have no patience for the changing of seasons when it means I’m going to be benching Number One and busting out the headlight.

I’m not going to lie to you; the Vuelta is my least-favorite race of the year. Part of it is the parcours-it’s hard enough to get excited about flat sprint stages in the Tour, but these stages in central Spain that go down a straight freeway for hours are just too much for my brain to find interesting. Hey look! There’s another shrub! Wasn’t he a President at one point? There will be some redeeming points of the race, I’m sure, and the shit-steep climbs they dot along the route are certain to be highlights of the season. But after you do the math, this is the grand tour with the weakest field, the worst route, and-most damning-the strongest signal that Summer is coming to an end on the half of the world that matters.

I can’t be bothered to sort out the route and what stages are going to matter, but I’ll tell you this: for the last few years, the winner of the Vuelta VSP has won the VSP GC. A few years back, @Marcus complained that he only lost the VSP because @Nate used the second Rest Day Swaps to his advantage to take the win, but after heavily increasing the penalties, he kept losing. Typical of a man who posts photos of his todger on a Cycling site. (@Nate, your win was clean according to the VCI.) Speaking of which, at worst the Vuelta will distract from Pat McQuaid and his bid for losing the UCI Presidency.

He has a strong lead in the 2013 Anti-V competition, however.

Check the start list, get your picks in, and don’t Delgado this baby; it could be your ticket to the shop apron. Bon chance.

[vsp_results id=”26944″/]

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • @snoov

    @TBONE

    I believe that this is the first time I am choosing a Dutchman to win (anything).

    NetApp has a team? Let's hope that they're faster and more resilient than there junk ass storage solutions.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. fabian cancellera
    2. valverde
    3. Scarponi
    4. Hoogerland
    5. NIBALI

    Sorry to point out that Cancellara is Swiss.

    Sorry to point out his chances of winning are about as good Phil Liggett's.

  • Up for an early Saturday morning ride, my brain tells me I need to sort something out...and well fuck, I've Delgado'ed. After two strong VSP years, I'm playin' like Phil Gil is riding. Fack. Thankfully I don't make a living doing this, but it does take away from the fun. And I do want to win a shop apron!

    I think Nibali can win, even if he is eager to win a WC in a few weeks. Ha, to think of Eddy soft pedaling in anything so he can save energy to win down the line is laughable, funny how times have changed.

    I think Valverde has lost it and doesn't have the mental fortitude to do it for three weeks. Then again, it could be the blood'tude.

    Uran vs. J-Rod for 2nd in my mind.

    Third, hmm, will be interesting to see if Bauke can put in another strong three weeks, but I'm thinking top 5 for him and maybe Betancur comes of age for a podium spot.

    Note to self: don't ever again delay picks since you can change them.

  • @Ron

    The VSP is 78% more hilarious when you Delgado every other race. Thank you for your contribution (or lack thereof).

  • Balls. Uran is leaving Sky? He won't be well supported, FFS! I should have spent more than 30 seconds making my picks.

  • Watching La Vuelta TTT; each of Faboo's guns is the size of your average Columbian grimpeur!

  • @eenies

    When you are up late drinking beer it's probably not the best time to be making changes. Fuck it, I've decided to stick with two favourites and go with three wee climbers with cool names.

    VSP PICKS:

    1. J Rod
    2. Sergio Henao
    3. Sylvester Szmyd
    4. Winner Anacona
    5. Domenico Pozzovivo

    Loving everything about these tactics and philosophy.

  • Good win by Nico...well judged....Heynow Heynow don' dream its over...and what on earth happened to dirty Sanchez? !

  • @Deakus

    Good win by Nico...well judged....Heynow Heynow don' dream its over...and what on earth happened to Dirty Sanchez? !

    What happened was I picked him for the GC win. See also, Carlos Betancur and Sergio Henao.

    In fact, if anyone wants to make any money betting on la Vuelta just take a look at my top three VSP picks and avoid like the plague.

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