The Keepers

by / 1061 posts

Cycling is a mighty sport with a rich and complex history. Every company, racer, piece of kit, and component has a legend, a story behind it; in many cases it also has a personal and nostalgic connection to our lives.  While this particular sport is steeped in tradition, it is also fiercely modern, a fact that serves only to deepen its complexity.

All these factors combine to provide an unique atmosphere and breeds devoted and loyal disciples of our great sport. We are of a peculiar nature; we seek out the highest mountains and the roughest roads on which to worship at the altar of the Man with the Hammer. Our legs are what propel us; our minds are what drive us. We refer to our shaved legs in the third person – the legs – and speak of distance in kilometres and measure sizes in centimetres regardless of what country we are in.  We adhere strictly to the Canon of Cycling’s Etiquette: The Rules.

A Velominatus is a disciple of the highest order. We spend our days poring over the very essence of what makes ours such a special sport and how that essence fits into Cycling’s colorful fabric.  This is the Velominati’s raison d’être. This is where the Velominati can be ourselves. This is our agony – our badge of honor – our sin.

I have a unique way of looking at bicycles. A good bicycle and it’s components are beautiful things to me. I’m not just talking about appearance, but also how the frame and components show the dreams of those who made them.

– Gianni Bugno, Hardman and Italian cycling legend

Perhaps we are too wrapped up in the past, but the Velominati don’t believe that to be the case.  After all, the greatest lessons can be learned from the past and those lessons can then be applied to the present and may then allow us to more fully experience the future.

The Keepers:

The Community:

Velominati.com is less about the articles and more about the conversation. Those of you who read more and poster more, become an integral part of the discussion and help carry the momentum forward. There are several levels of Velominatus*:

Level 4 Velominatus: The casual observer and occasional poster.

Level 3 Velominatus: The regular reader and casual poster.

Level 2 Velominatus: The devoted reader and regular poster.

Level 1 Velominatus: The most committed of reader and poster.

Gray, Black, and Orange Order Velominatus: Once having passed Level 1, the inducted among the Order wear three color badges, based on their rank.

Conduct:

We strive to foster an open, fun, critical, and censure-free environment. Any criticism of our writing, spelling, grammar, or intelligence is welcome and nothing said will ever get you suspended from the site. That said, the code of conduct is governed by Rule #43 and the Piti Principle. Members consistently exhibiting behavior that falls outside these parameters will be warned to check themselves; should warnings go unheeded, we may elect to issue a suspension. The first offense will result in a one-week suspension, the second in a two week suspension, and the third in a three week suspension. A fourth offense will result in a lifetime ban.

Velominati reserves the right to edit posts with the express interest to preserve the spirit of the conversation and the community. Regarding posts that address a grammatical or typographical error, Velominati may elect to take their input, correct the error in the articles where appropriate, and editing posts that point them out. This editorial action is not to serve as a censure entity, but to preserve the spirit of the conversation. That said, we endeavor to only edit those posts that point out a minor issue and only in the event that we make the edit before the post has yielded further discussion. Furthermore, when possible, we will strive to acknowledge said poster for their correction.

Want to contribute a story to the Velominati? Tell us why.

*Levels are calculated based on the previous year’s activity.

  1. Bit of a heads up for you all, I’ve just launched a new website, not in opposition to The V, so it’d be great if you all went and had a look, liked us on the ‘book and ‘gram, and maybe click on a few ads too!

    It’s called ChainSlap and it has a bit of everything, most forms of cycling with an emphasis on mtb I suppose, also music, beer, coffee and some other shit that you might not see on other sites, hopefully!

  2. @brett

    Bit of a heads up for you all, I’ve just launched a new website, not in opposition to The V, so it’d be great if you all went and had a look, liked us on the ‘book and ‘gram, and maybe click on a few ads too!

    It’s called ChainSlap and it has a bit of everything, most forms of cycling with an emphasis on mtb I suppose, also music, beer, coffee and some other shit that you might not see on other sites, hopefully!

    Consider it done ! Nice work

  3. @brett

    saw some of the tweets linking to Chainslap & wondered if there was a connection. Shall have a gander.

  4. @brett

    Is that where you hide with these?

    http://chainslapmag.com/2016/05/stealth-sack/

    Just what you need, can of beer, hammer 50 Km of trails, stop, pull ring,……….oh yeh, maybe not such a great idea after all………

  5. @Teocalli

    The final descent always goes better after a beer!

  6. @brett

    Bit of a heads up for you all, I’ve just launched a new website, not in opposition to The V, so it’d be great if you all went and had a look, liked us on the ‘book and ‘gram, and maybe click on a few ads too!

    It’s called ChainSlap and it has a bit of everything, most forms of cycling with an emphasis on mtb I suppose, also music, beer, coffee and some other shit that you might not see on other sites, hopefully!

    Ha! The Gubernut here in the Great US of A has you figured out, Brett.

    Your new website is blocked on all Department of Defense computers!!!

  7. @Buck Rogers

    @brett

    Bit of a heads up for you all, I’ve just launched a new website, not in opposition to The V, so it’d be great if you all went and had a look, liked us on the ‘book and ‘gram, and maybe click on a few ads too!

    It’s called ChainSlap and it has a bit of everything, most forms of cycling with an emphasis on mtb I suppose, also music, beer, coffee and some other shit that you might not see on other sites, hopefully!

    Ha! The Gubernut here in the Great US of A has you figured out, Brett.

    Your new website is blocked on all Department of Defense computers!!!

    Fuckin Rothschilds are onto me!

  8. Enjoying a visit to a Keeper’s homeland.

  9. Cool little bit here on Parker Dusseau where they’re offering a copy of The Rules with purchases; had a chance to chat up the owner a bit and they apparently had a mic running!

    http://www.parkerdusseau.com/blogs/journal/rule-94-wear-parker-dusseau-and-receive-a-free-book

  10. Dear keepers et al,

    How about a food & drink section?

    My local supermarket just started stocking this recovery ale, and I wanted to share this important information with you all, however I was unsure where to post it.

    You’re welcome.

  11. i’ve made a couple of posts already, but, in keeping with Rule #19, what’s the appropriate way to introduce oneself here?

  12. @Cary

    i’ve made a couple of posts already, but, in keeping with Rule #19, what’s the appropriate way to introduce oneself here?

    That works! Welcome.

    Another way is to post a pic of #1 having studied Rule #26 (or just deny knowledge of Rule #26) with a short summary of your riding locale.

  13. @Teocalli

    @Cary

    i’ve made a couple of posts already, but, in keeping with Rule #19, what’s the appropriate way to introduce oneself here?

    That works! Welcome.

    Another way is to post a pic of #1 having studied Rule #26 (or just deny knowledge of Rule #26) with a short summary of your riding locale.

    cool. where should i post it? i am quite new to this site as a commentor, obviously, though i have read extensively.

  14. @Cary

    Sorry stupid me. Under The Bikes usually.

  15. common sense should have played a role in figuring this out for myself. sorry, and thanks!

  16. Did @frank take up a new job?

    http://www.outsideonline.com/2108066/emerald-citys-velo-thieves-have-problem-bike-batman

    “Bike Batman was just an average-seeming guy in Seattle who liked to ride his bicycles. He had no inkling to become a vigilante who would face off against criminals while armed with little more than a smartphone, some spare time, and a pair of brass balls. But sometimes in life, the cape finds you.”

  17. My seatpost is thisssssssss long!

    Alright folks! Time for a bit of “It’s a Wonderful Velominati Life”.

    Frahnk, through no fault of his own, is in the lurch for a bunch of kit money at a bit of a rough time. He is actually selling off his bikes trying to raise the funds to make it right (kind of like cashing in his life insurance money, eh???).

    Somehow the Mr Potter of this world has stolen his $8,000 bucks (or whatever the fuck the amount was).

    So I propose that anyone that can, donate a bit of money to the site. And this is not me trying to raise money for my kit, this is just trying to help out Frahnk and the site.

    Obviously I have no idea of how to do this but if someone can set up one of those internet donation help sites, I’d love to contribute!

    Thanks all and Merckxy Christmas!!!

  18. Please advise: I registered on the site Monday morning and created my first post on my android device. Although the ‘publishing post’ box came up I could not see it. I then tried posting twice again with the same results.

    I then thought I’d try posting from a PC and was surprised to see my first post on the site (I fear there are several others possibly in the queue now).

    Is there a delay associated with ‘posting’. Thanks

  19. @Buck Rogers

    My seatpost is thisssssssss long!

    Alright folks! Time for a bit of “It’s a Wonderful Velominati Life”.

    Frahnk, through no fault of his own, is in the lurch for a bunch of kit money at a bit of a rough time. He is actually selling off his bikes trying to raise the funds to make it right (kind of like cashing in his life insurance money, eh???).

    Somehow the Mr Potter of this world has stolen his $8,000 bucks (or whatever the fuck the amount was).

    So I propose that anyone that can, donate a bit of money to the site. And this is not me trying to raise money for my kit, this is just trying to help out Frahnk and the site.

    Obviously I have no idea of how to do this but if someone can set up one of those internet donation help sites, I’d love to contribute!

    Thanks all and Merckxy Christmas!!!

    Buck, is this true or just a little holiday fun? I’d happily donate to support this site. Can’t help with setting up a donation site, though.

  20. @Magaramombi

    Please advise: I registered on the site Monday morning and created my first post on my android device. Although the ‘publishing post’ box came up I could not see it. I then tried posting twice again with the same results.

    I then thought I’d try posting from a PC and was surprised to see my first post on the site (I fear there are several others possibly in the queue now).

    Is there a delay associated with ‘posting’. Thanks

    There is not usually a delay, but might be for your first post. Can’t speak about Android but generally the site does not like Explorer on a PC.

    Welcome to the madness anyway.

  21. @MangoDave

    @Buck Rogers

    My seatpost is thisssssssss long!

    Alright folks! Time for a bit of “It’s a Wonderful Velominati Life”.

    Frahnk, through no fault of his own, is in the lurch for a bunch of kit money at a bit of a rough time. He is actually selling off his bikes trying to raise the funds to make it right (kind of like cashing in his life insurance money, eh???).

    Somehow the Mr Potter of this world has stolen his $8,000 bucks (or whatever the fuck the amount was).

    So I propose that anyone that can, donate a bit of money to the site. And this is not me trying to raise money for my kit, this is just trying to help out Frahnk and the site.

    Obviously I have no idea of how to do this but if someone can set up one of those internet donation help sites, I’d love to contribute!

    Thanks all and Merckxy Christmas!!!

    Buck, is this true or just a little holiday fun? I’d happily donate to support this site. Can’t help with setting up a donation site, though.

    Wow! This came through finally!!! I posted this on Christmas day (along with this photo). It is real. Frahnk was fucked by “The Man” and is in the lurch for the money for the recent order. If someone knows how to set up a “Go Fund Me” (or as I like to say, “Go Fuck Me”) website for this, I owuld love to donate some to Frahnk for all that he does around here for

    free.

  22. @Buck Rogers

    It would seem a clamp-on front changer is entirely appropriate…

    From this book, published in 1986, but containing many detail images of Hinault’s 1985 road bikes. Also indicates older-style Nuovo Record two-bolt seat post rather the single-bolt Super Record.

  23. @osbk67

    Oh, THAT is brilliant! That is the exact bike I am building up for my Eroica adventures!

    What a resource! Just bought a used copy off of Amazon for 2 bucks once I saw your post. I have the 1985 Fabulous World of Cycling book that I have been using as well.

    I am working with a guy in Scotland who is a huge La Vie Claire “expert” and has multiple bikes from that team. He is also helping me to source the exact correct parts for the bike.

    He had told me that Hinault used the Nuevo Record seatpost and not the SR one as well but great catch on your part! any help/confirmation that I can get is greatly appreciated!

    Thanks!

  24. @osbk67

    @Buck Rogers

    From this book, published in 1986, but containing many detail images of Hinault’s 1985 road bikes. Also indicates older-style Nuovo Record two-bolt seat post rather the single-bolt Super Record.

    I realised when I saw this post that my life was not complete because I don’t own this book. I have put this right and will have my copy soon.

  25. @RobSandy @Buck Rogers

    I have a few other relics of the era I’m happy to look through if you can’t find answers elsewhere. Probably catalogues for most of the parts of the day as well, but nothing for Hinault frames, which were a fairly short-lived venture.

    “Bicycle Mechanics in Workshop and Competition”, first published 1986, is an interesting and relevant read if one is dealing with racing bicycles of that vintage.

  26. @osbk67

    Speaking with some people that know a LOT more than I do, it sounds like the Hinault bikes that the whole team rode were all custom builds made out of 753 Reynolds, at least for 1985.

    I do not think that they ever mass made that many of them (if any at all?)?

  27. At the beginning of the section The Keepers, you quote Gianni Bugno’s statement about bikes. You quote Bugno as having said, or written, “A good bike and it’s components… .” For Merckx’s sake it is not “it’s components.” That is a contration for “it is,” which makes no sense within the context of the quote attributed to Bugno. The proper word to use is “its,” as in, “its components.” “Its” is the possessive form of “it.” I don’t (another example of a contraction) mean to be pedantic, but I learned English as a second language and such glaring error just jump out of the page. Just like you frown upon the use of saddle bags (Rule 31), among many other things, you should also frown upon misuse of our lovely language. Now I am off to go riding my Colnago, all decked out with its beautiful components and sans a saddle bag. :)

  28. Haha!

    “Contration”

    “glaring error just jump out of the page”

    It’s always hilarious when the grammar police make mistakes while trying to correct others.

  29. @Oli

    You EJ off lightly. to wit:

    1. “I don’t… mean to be pedantic” whilst meeting the text book definition.

    2. “… off to go riding my Colnago…”. No shit English is his second language.

    3. The inexcusable placement of a quotation mark after the full stop when the quote doesn’t form a whole sentence (line 2).

  30. @Marcus

    @Oli

    You EJ off lightly. to wit:

    1. “I don’t… mean to be pedantic” whilst meeting the text book definition.

    2. “… off to go riding my Colnago…”. No shit English is his second language.

    3. The inexcusable placement of a quotation mark after the full stop when the quote doesn’t form a whole sentence (line 2).

    Or the failure to capitalize the “t” in “to wit.” Because “to” came after a period, the “t” should be capitalized. To wit: I’m a pedant.

  31. @wiscot

    yeah yeah, that’s a typo – and I am excused as I was bagging a pedant, not being a pedant. Your spelling of capitalise with a “z” tells me all I need to know about your use of English.

    Go ride some miles in the cold Fahrenheit. Or build a wall.

  32. @Oli

    @Marcus

    @wiscot

    I love you guys. Had a really good laugh at that one!

  33. @frank

    Fuck off Frank. Who asked you?

  34. @Marcus

    @frank

    Fuck off Frank. Who asked you?

    This is what happens when we suffer from article-penia. Addicts gotta have their fix after all.

  35. @Ccos

    Yeah yeah yeah…working on it!

  36. @Marcus

    @Ccos

    The benefit of not writing is that usually all that vitriol is pointed at me! I love hanging out in the bleachers!

  37. @frank

    @Ccos

    Yeah yeah yeah…working on it!

    Writers block is like suppressing a sneeze: the harder you try, the less likely you succeed.

    Or was it a fart? I’m not sure. Either way, looking forward to it (the article, not the other things I was talking about).

  38. @frank

    Of the vast amount of time I have wasted on this site, I would estimate that under 5% has been spent reading any of the articles.

    Just make an article with 5 bullet points from the weekend, eg.

    1. Sagan is a gun, but he is still probably a cockhead. His wife’s name is Katerina Smolkova, which makes her sound like a Bond girl. All in all, I like him.

    2. Boonen was much cooler when he was carrying a bit more weight. Looks a bit wrong these days. So he can’t win again.

    3. Those pussies who rode the gutter in Het Volk (not Nieuwsblad) should have been disqualified. Just on principle.

    4. Rotor brakes are an insult to the senses. But I still might get some.

    5. Starting to like COTHO – his podcasts are quite good, as long as it is his guest, not him, who is doing the talking.

    Then let the comments roll.

  39. @wiscot

    fuck; i Cant beleive I mist those ones!!1!

  40. For the life of me I’ve never understood why it is that possessive in all instances are ‘s except for its vs it’s. I’ve missed that a hundred times on papers way back in college. There is not a possessive form of it? Well… there is but it’s its and not it’s? Whatev… that’s why I’m an engineer by training. Ain’t (couldn’t resist) something I’d really give a hoot about.

    And we get some commentary from the peanut gallery.

    Rotor brakes? Rim brakes? you wouldn’t buy a car nowadays with drum brakes yes? Even though they work just fine. Kinda. Just a thought.

    cheers all

  41. @Randy C

    There’s at least one other example but it doesn’t readily spring to mind.

  42. @Oli

    Good catch. I am glad that you were paying attention. Mission accomplished.

  43. @Marcus

    1. F off. By the way, the first “Yeah” should have been capitalized, it is the first word in the sentence. And that’s capitalized with a “z” and not an “s.” Get over it.

    2. The reference to wanting to be pedantic is irony, or sarcasm–at my own expense. Bless your heart!

    3. “Off to go riding,” is a colloquialism or idiomatic phrase, as in “I am off to the races.”

    4. Your third point makes no sense at all.

    Thanks for the warm welcome. Still, no matter how you turn it, the Bugno quote still contains a glaring error. It’s “its” and it will never be “it’s.” Put that in your spotted dick and wash it down with weak, cold tea. Whether it’s corrected or not, at this point I just couldn’t care less.

  44. @EJ Acosta

    Just to help you out – when you quote text that forms part of your sentence and finishes the sentence, the quotation mark is inserted before the full stop.

    The only spotted dick I will ever eat is if I blow a leopard.

  45. @EJ Acosta

    @Marcus

    Get a fucking room, you two.

  46. @EJ Acosta

    wateva

  47. @Marcus

    @Randy C

    There’s at least one other example but it doesn’t readily spring to mind.

    Whose?

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