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Awesome German Guys- Der Panzerwagen

Awesome German Guys- Der Panzerwagen

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After Stage V there was Stage 9, where the World TT champion earned the dotty jumper. In case you missed it, Stage 9 was a trip into the Vosges mountains, 170km with six categorized climbs. This was a stage for a breakaway to stay away. A large group did escape and with 152km remaining to the finish Alessandro De Marchi of Cannondale bolted off the front…followed by Tony Martin. What happened over the next few climbs was awe-inspiring and awful. Awe-inspiring because this break of two kept gaining time over the large group of hard working escapers; awful because poor Alessandro was getting worked over like no cyclist should ever get worked over. He killed himself at the front, just trying to keep Martin behind him and he killed himself again when he deserved to be resting on Tony Martin’s wheel. Alessandro was in the saddle, out of the saddle, fighting just to stay in contact. It was equally fun and painful to watch.

Tony Martin learned very early about making a successful escape. As a youth he escaped East Germany with his family. He does not fuck around when escaping. A bee stung the Cannondale rider on the hand; a welcome distraction from the beating he was taking trying to survive a ride with Martin. Besides putting De Marchi in a spot of bother on the climbs, Martin is a demon on descents and obviously horrendous on the flats. It was Mr Martin’s wild ride.

With 59km to go, as they climbed the biggest mountain of the day, Martin decided it was time to take it up a notch. One could see De Marchi’s thought bubble when it happened, “oh FFS, thank you, you broke me, are you happy now?” As they crested each climb Tony had let Alessandro collect the KOM points, yet guess who ended up in the Jersey? I’ve looked in vain for a post-race interview with De Marchi. At least he earned the the Most Combative jersey in Paris. One of Quick-Step’s directors quipped De Marchi was going to need a therapist after that ride.

How awesome is Tony “Whale Shark” Martin? He leads out Cav like a good team player. He is the World Time Trial Champion. He is hot to attempt the Hour Record, whatever the rules are. He can crush a 58 tooth chainring. He can also win a climbing stage in the Tour and pull on the dotty jumper wearing his Panzerwagen old-school cap on the podium.

 

// Awesome German Guys

Awesome German Guys

  1. This.

    All. Fucking. Day.

  2. TM is a beast without reservations. I was reading over on Inner Ring about how he mostly uses the panzerwagon nickname for his foreign fans. Given the charged history of the German military, can’t say I blame him. But between him, the gorilla, and degenkolb maybe we’ll see a renaissance of German cycling?

  3. @Owen

    TM is a beast without reservations. I was reading over on Inner Ring about how he mostly uses the panzerwagon nickname for his foreign fans. Given the charged history of the German military, can’t say I blame him. But between him, the gorilla, and degenkolb maybe we’ll see a renaissance of German cycling?

    If the Germans don’t get on board with this new generation of riders: Tony Panzerwagen, Marcel the Magnificent, Gorilla Greipel and John the ‘tashman, then I give up. Greipel seems somewhat dour and old school and I’m not convinced about Degenkolb, but in the first two Germany have a couple of bona fide superstars who are incredibly good and photogenic to boot. Not a shabby combo in this image-saturated world we live in. C’mon Germany, embrace these boys and forget Ullrich et al. You haven’t had this much to cheer about since Altig and early Thurau.

  4. wtf how did I forget Kittel? Merckx.

    I have German relations and they seem excited about the up and comers, so maybe there’s hope.

  5. “Tony Martin learned very early about making a successful escape. As a youth he escaped East Germany with his family. He does not fuck around when escaping.”

    This.

    Martin is now one of my favourite riders, you can expect him to go on a long escape pretty much at any time, and I love that attitude. The day after this stage, when he drove on the front of the break for hours, then just peeled off and virtually stopped dead, that was some display of power. Definitely a huge donk in that one.

  6. Ok, I get the excitement of the hour and all that, but when is he going to go all “Cancellara” and crush some souls at Roubaix? That gets me excited and I expect others too.

  7. @Ccos

    Ok, I get the excitement of the hour and all that, but when is he going to go all “Cancellara” and crush some souls at Roubaix? That gets me excited and I expect others too.

    I was thinking that too. He should try a Spring Classic or two, especially Roubaix. But if he doesn’t already enjoy those wet cobbles, if might not be for him. Still, he should be good at some of those. Lord knows he has the motor for that kind of thing. If Twiggo can make a showing, der Wagen could do better.

  8. @wiscot

    @Owen

    TM is a beast without reservations. I was reading over on Inner Ring about how he mostly uses the panzerwagon nickname for his foreign fans. Given the charged history of the German military, can’t say I blame him. But between him, the gorilla, and degenkolb maybe we’ll see a renaissance of German cycling?

    If the Germans don’t get on board with this new generation of riders: Tony Panzerwagen, Marcel the Magnificent, Gorilla Greipel and John the ‘tashman, then I give up. Greipel seems somewhat dour and old school and I’m not convinced about Degenkolb, but in the first two Germany have a couple of bona fide superstars who are incredibly good and photogenic to boot. Not a shabby combo in this image-saturated world we live in. C’mon Germany, embrace these boys and forget Ullrich et al. You haven’t had this much to cheer about since Altig and early Thurau.

    Did you see young Thurau in either the Dauphine or Tour de Swiss? He was out suffering on the climbs, trying to keep a dotty jersey. He will be someone to watch.

  9. Here’s to hoping some of the rumors are true and he begins to focus on the Classics. Certainly has the attitude and suffering tolerance to crush it.

  10. @Gianni didn’t get those this year, unfortunately. Moving and it’s attendant stressors will do that.

    Well, that’s not entirely true. I did catch the criterium stage of the Dauphine in which a certain spider humped the shit out of a lightbulb in order to stay in front of a certain connoisseur of fine steaks.

  11. The man is both Devil and God rolled in to one. I developed a Man Crush on TM last year on stage 6 of La Vuelta when his solo breakaway was caught 3m from the line by a merciless peloton. I was roaring at the TV during THAT STAGE on the TdF this year and raised a glass or 5 in his honour when he succeeded only to see him go out again next day and start laying down V as if he wanted to pave the whole fucking Tour route in it! He can point his guns in any direction, up, down, flat, solo, leadout and when they fire the rest just shrink at the power he lays down. A man who can suffer like few others….Chapeau (Like Jensy being reborn!)

  12. @Deakus

    Like Jens, but with race-winning ability… but probably not as funny.

  13. @brett

    @brett

    @Deakus

    Like Jens, but with race-winning ability… but probably not as funny.

    And maybe without the (denied, of course) suspicion of dopage. Maybe.

  14. @brett

    @Deakus

    Like Jens, but with race-winning ability… but probably not as funny.

    He pretty much does his talking with his guns….

  15. Der Panzerwagon is fast becoming one of my favourite riders, and the way he animated this years tour was really special.

    I was one the cat 1 Markstein climb on stage 9 and the speed he came past us at was breathtaking. Absolutely awesome, and visibly quicker than the chasing riders.

  16. And to think, had Cav not crashed out it probably wouldn’t have happened.

    Nor would Majka and Rogers if it weren’t for the absence of Contador.

    Silver linings and all that.

  17. I think the UCI need to bring in a 1000 CHF fine for anyone stepping foot on the podium with a baseball style cap, classic cap all the way from one of the classiest riders around. Amazing POW POW.

  18. @ChrisO

    And to think, had Cav not crashed out it probably wouldn’t have happened.

    Nor would Majka and Rogers if it weren’t for the absence of Contador.

    Silver linings and all that.

    I wonder if domestiques celebrate just a little when the boss goes home and their role changes completely?

  19. @Deakus TM is a one man peloton. A day after out V-ing everyone, he singlehandedly pulls back the day’s the break to set it up for Kwiatkovski. Then there was that final TT…

  20. These are the guys I like to watch. Scraping the barrel for every success and failing often. They have no excuses- they have it or they don’t. Time trial specialists, the mad men of breakaways, and the classics riders exemplify cycling and is beauty. Sure it’s impressive to see the fly weights soaring up mountains at impossible speeds while the peloton lags behind, but its even more impressive when some big (er) man is on the front laying down serious V.

  21. You all catch his latest TT saddle modification idea and subsequent results? There’s a photo floating around I think was tweeted. Not pretty. Just something about sandpaper, saddles and contact points that makes me think, not really a good idea. But hey… What do I know? I don’t crush a bike so badly that I need to be better attached to the machine. But sandpaper?? And my bottom ? I wouldn’t have figured that was good idea. Cheers all.

  22. @wilburrox

    Here it is:

  23. @wilburrox

    The result is not pretty.

  24. @Sparty

    @wilburrox

    Here it is:

    The other side of the equation, talk about suffering for your art:

  25. I’m kinda speechless on this. Was this set-up not tested beforehand? I understand the need for something with grip, but something that shreds your shorts and possibly your scrotum cannot be wise.

    It should be a rule: never use anything for the first time in an event that matters. That’s what casual/training rides are for – working out if something works/is positioned correctly/fits/is adjusted right.

  26. @wiscot

    I’m kinda speechless on this. Was this set-up not tested beforehand? I understand the need for something with grip, but something that shreds your shorts and possibly your scrotum cannot be wise.

    It should be a rule: never use anything for the first time in an event that matters. That’s what casual/training rides are for – working out if something works/is positioned correctly/fits/is adjusted right.

    Frank – I propose an addendum to either Rule #8, #48, or #61: No grip tape. :-)

  27. @chuckp

    @wiscot

    I’m kinda speechless on this. Was this set-up not tested beforehand? I understand the need for something with grip, but something that shreds your shorts and possibly your scrotum cannot be wise.

    It should be a rule: never use anything for the first time in an event that matters. That’s what casual/training rides are for – working out if something works/is positioned correctly/fits/is adjusted right.

    Frank – I propose an addendum to either Rule #8, #48, or #61: No grip tape. :-)

    It seems to suggest a real lack of common sense. Surely it would have been wiser to attach the sandpaper to the outside of his skin suit, facing down so that the sacrificial item was the saddle rather than his ‘rse and sack.

    On the other hand it could be the start of a Chuck Norris style meme

    “Even sandpaper uses chamois creme when it rides with Tony Martin”

  28. Martin has been running sandpaper or grip tape on his TT saddle for years. This was definitely not a new set up. Seems that the problem was the skin suit the German team had made. You can see above that his team skinsuit did rip, but not clean through the chamois.

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