Cycling is a mighty sport with a rich and complex history. Every company, racer, piece of kit, and component has a legend, a story behind it; in many cases it also has a personal and nostalgic connection to our lives. While this particular sport is steeped in tradition, it is also fiercely modern, a fact that serves only to deepen its complexity.
All these factors combine to provide an unique atmosphere and breeds devoted and loyal disciples of our great sport. We are of a peculiar nature; we seek out the highest mountains and the roughest roads on which to worship at the altar of the Man with the Hammer. Our legs are what propel us; our minds are what drive us. We refer to our shaved legs in the third person – the legs – and speak of distance in kilometres and measure sizes in centimetres regardless of what country we are in. We adhere strictly to the Canon of Cycling’s Etiquette: The Rules.
A Velominatus is a disciple of the highest order. We spend our days poring over the very essence of what makes ours such a special sport and how that essence fits into Cycling’s colorful fabric. This is the Velominati’s raison d’être. This is where the Velominati can be ourselves. This is our agony – our badge of honor – our sin.
I have a unique way of looking at bicycles. A good bicycle and it’s components are beautiful things to me. I’m not just talking about appearance, but also how the frame and components show the dreams of those who made them.
– Gianni Bugno, Hardman and Italian cycling legend
Perhaps we are too wrapped up in the past, but the Velominati don’t believe that to be the case. After all, the greatest lessons can be learned from the past and those lessons can then be applied to the present and may then allow us to more fully experience the future.
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We strive to foster an open, fun, critical, and censure-free environment. Any criticism of our writing, spelling, grammar, or intelligence is welcome and nothing said will ever get you suspended from the site. That said, the code of conduct is governed by Rule #43 and the Piti Principle. Members consistently exhibiting behavior that falls outside these parameters will be warned to check themselves; should warnings go unheeded, we may elect to issue a suspension. The first offense will result in a one-week suspension, the second in a two week suspension, and the third in a three week suspension. A fourth offense will result in a lifetime ban.
Velominati reserves the right to edit posts with the express interest to preserve the spirit of the conversation and the community. Regarding posts that address a grammatical or typographical error, Velominati may elect to take their input, correct the error in the articles where appropriate, and editing posts that point them out. This editorial action is not to serve as a censure entity, but to preserve the spirit of the conversation. That said, we endeavor to only edit those posts that point out a minor issue and only in the event that we make the edit before the post has yielded further discussion. Furthermore, when possible, we will strive to acknowledge said poster for their correction.
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View Comments
@Bespoke
A what ? Am I missing something here or is it a new game to fit the letters ?
ginger - well I can understand not wanting to highlight that
gunner - I know Arsenal aren't doing well, but...
gender - doesn't make sense to me but maybe some coded signal to Scaler911
Sorry if I'm being obtuse, you're going to have to spell it out for me.
@Chris
I found it amusing that the cyclist chasing him is wearing a Barbasol jersey!
@Sauterelle I use that brand on my legs. Actually prefer that old foamy stuff to gels.
@roger Cheap hair conditioner works great too! Better than foam!
@ChrisO
Goober?
Gaffer?
Gutter?
Fuck'd if I know what he is getting at?
@Buck Rogers
Perplexed too, I am.
geezer or Gen-Xer?
gander or gooser?
grazer or gulper?
@xyxax
His (going out on a long limb here) V-profile indicates he's another Canuckian. Who knows what he's on about, but I agree that it's a promising entry.
@Nate
Ah, good copy.
As BSNYC said today, "The only reason the United States still allows Canada to exist is that we need a steady supply of smart people."
@xyxax For sure. That @Steampunk sure seems to be a smart cookie, for one.
@Bespoke What you have here is but one example of the joking we do about our respective anglophone countries, which you may or may not have noticed in perusing the archives. We 'muricans take the piss out of our northern neighbors and, when we notice their presence, the antipodeans. NZed and Straylia make sheep jokes about each other and have a mutual pisstaking fest with the Brits. We don't worry about the brits since we got rid of them long ago. We are all in awe of the Belgians. And so forth.
@Nate
Meanwhile, everyone from the Commonwealth countries are quietly sniggering because the muricans are just a little bit "special" and can't spell.