Anatomy of a Photo: Top Dog

...and now let me tell you about the time I made Roger cry.

I have it on excellent authority that life is good when you’re at the top. I myself am, of course, nowhere near the top but I felt a glimmer of it today, briefly savoring the unique palate of having some semblance of form in January. Which feels a lot like a victory over Christmas. And kicking Christmas’ ass feels pretty rad.

Then suddenly – and quite rudely, I might say – my rear axle broke, at which point the performance characteristics of my bicycle were diminished not unsubstantially. Our experience atop the peaks are brief; the journey we call life takes place primarily in the valleys and upon the slopes.

If life has taught me anything, it’s that you should feel free to grab the pompoms on any Marine’s hat anytime you please, particularly if you happen to be wearing a totally sick Molteni Alimentari jumper.

If you also happen to be Eddy Merckx and you recently had your sideburns oiled by your man-servant, then said Marines might not even celebrate your gesture by killing you.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

chuckp says:

Jan 6 2016 at 11:12 am

@frank

@Joe Cline

Form in January? Lest thee be a cross specialist: “Small gears in January, big gears in June. Big gears in January, nothing in June.”

Having form and riding big gears are two different things. I won’t switch from my 53×39 to my 66×54 until May.

Winter training gearing.
Gianni says:

Jan 6 2016 at 11:14 am

I've lusted after Chris King hubs forever but never owned them. My Bontrager carbone wheels came with Swiss DT hubs. The freewheel body has a sealed bearing in it and the freehub body comes off and goes on without tools! I suspect the hub body bearings are sealed too. It does not sound as cool as a CK hub or look as nice as it's just black. That Bontrager chose them for their race wheels says something. Adequate and serviceable if one is adept at removing and installing pressed-in bearings.
philonius says:

Jan 6 2016 at 12:14 pm

@chuckp

Disk brakes. The horror.
DavyMuur says:

Jan 6 2016 at 1:09 pm

@the Engine

@frank

@Ron

Turns out it wasn’t the axle but the inner bearing on the Chris King freehub exploded due to my crushing it so wicked hard. Bearings everywhere when Doug over at Branford Bike tore it apart.

I’m sure its just due to wear, but some breakages just make you feel tough!

Even if it was the axel, by the way, it really can’t go anywhere if the quick release is closed tight, so you just ride home. In my case the breakage did loosen the hub and freehub along the axle so the wheel could move around by about 1cm in either direction. Made for goofy handling, that’s for sure, but it was rideable enough. Like riding your cross bike in mud.

Only time I’ve ever had to climb into the broom wagon was when my DTSwiss freehub exploded on the (somewhat inaccurately named) “Ride With Brad” a couple of years back. As I recall, whilst discussing it on this site, it was pointed out to me by @frank that there were two obvious causes of mechanical failure: 1) I was a fat bastard 2) I was riding in a sportive. @frank – given you weren’t riding a sportive what’s your story?

Touché!
Ccos says:

Jan 6 2016 at 2:29 pm

Military uniforms can be a bit silly, but pompoms? I shudder to think what those dudes do when they cross the equator wearing those...
frank says:

Jan 6 2016 at 2:47 pm

@Bruce Lee

Talk of broken axles reminded me of this photo. Sucks when that extra-light bit gives up the ghost when you least expect it.

Exceptionally strong work in digging that up. I'd forgotten about that one!

@chuckp

@frank

@Joe Cline

Form in January? Lest thee be a cross specialist: “Small gears in January, big gears in June. Big gears in January, nothing in June.”

Having form and riding big gears are two different things. I won’t switch from my 53×39 to my 66×54 until May.

Winter training gearing.

Yeah, but my winter bike doesn't have such a sit up and beg position.